Well abstinence is something I believe in for MYSELF (it doesn't have anyhting to do with God or being Christian) and if I'm lucky, the person I'm with with have the same belief. One con to abstinence, some people say, is that once you marry your partner you may not be sexually compatable. My question is: Don't people discuss what they like and don't like about sex or things they would be or would not be willing to try? If people do discuss this, would you guys say that is a good way to find out if a couple is sexually compatible? There really wouldn't be a need to take a test drive, if you just flat out tell each other what you like and don't like. I feel like I'm just trying to get out of having sex. I'd like to have a boyfriend and go out on dates, but I feel that the relationships wouldn't last long. The are some things when it comes to physical intimacy that I am willing to try, but I feel that the guy is just going to want more than I am willing to give. I worry that I'll have to sell out just to keep the guy. If I have to do that I wouldn't be happy with myself and that would hurt.I don't plan on marrying anytime soon, I'm only 23, but what I like and don't like has come up in conversations with people I'm interested in. What do you think?
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Abstinence
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I think abstinence at your age is overrated. You're old enough to be responsible and safe. You can stay a virgin if that's your choice, but I find it hard to believe that you would truely know what you like sexually until you've really experienced it.
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I knew more or less what I was into sexually before I had sex. I was also with my partner a very long time before we had sex and we talked about it all. I think I did know that we'd be sexually compadable becuase we we're just interested in the same things.Don't have sex if you don't want to but I'd personaly prefer to sleep with someone and know them in that way before I promised to spend the rest of my life with them.I think sex and sexual compadablity is important in a sucessful relationship, especially if you want to be satisfyed and content in the long term. Some times that spark just might not be there. A friend of mine was seeing her first boyfriend for over a year before they had sex and she loved the guy very much. After she started having sex with him she realised there was no spark there and she just wanted to have him as a friend.
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I don't get it
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Originally Posted By: sdpI think abstinence at your age is overrated. You're old enough to be responsible and safe. You can stay a virgin if that's your choice, but I find it hard to believe that you would truely know what you like sexually until you've really experienced it. I can't add anything other than to say I completely agree with what sdp said. Once you reach a certain level of maturity in your life and are capable of dealing with the ramification of sex, I don't see why abstaining is necessarily a positive. I don't know it to be so, nor do I have any real reason to believe it but I feel like abstaining, at some point limits your growth as an individual.However if it works for you and it's what you really want, then go with god.....FUCK ABSTINENCE! Ohhhh, come on you can at least smile... well, I thought it was funny.
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That's not really what I said.What I mean is, you can get an idea about sexual compadibility through what you have incommon in your likes a dislikes but you can't be sure untill you have sex becuase it is possible to be wrong.But by all means, continue to be condecending, I can tell you enjoy it.
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I kind of thought this is what most people would say. I know what turns me on and what doesn't. Isn't talking about things how you find out if you're compatible with a person, at least with most things? Well that's been my experience with people I come across with school and work, you just know they're abrassive or hard to get along with.I know how to be responsible, but I think has more to do with my views about sex. The idea of being that intimate with someone, I'm not serious enough about that I want to someday marry, just turn me off. I mean, I not ging to marry him, or have kids with him. I just feel like he would be using me. I guess I have a hard time seperating physical pleasure with love or maybe my ideas are different than others. Maybe I just don't see someone wanting to have sex with me as liking me for who I am, but just want to use my body to pleasure himself and I can't get past that. I've seen too much of the wrong things I guess, and it's turned me off from wanting to have sex with anyone these days.
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Well I hope it won't limit me as an individual, but I know it could limit a relationship.
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Why do you view it (sex) as a means of "him" getting pleasure from your body?? Couldn't you get pleasure from "his" body?
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I don't hink I've ever been interested in things that way. It alwaysseemed like something "he" wants or needs. I guess I feel like I'm out of the equation. I don't feel like it's about me.When I think about being with someone, sex isn't at the top of the list.
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_I don't feel like it's about me.
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That is quite an unfortunate attitude. -
I can't really make sense out of it.
I not something I'm into right now. -
It doesn't matter if you are into it or not right now. it's sad that you carry the idea that the only purpose of sex is to pleasure the guy and procreate. It's like saying, "I want to be a doormat."