I have been told that I could not take my stepdaughters to the doctor.(married to their father in fact). Their mother and father were already listed as the parents, and when I signed the responsibility form, I was told that I would have to come back with a note.
The same situation applies to the relationship I am in now. No note, no Dr. The school, is a bit more lax, but only because my man and I have been at the school together, they have never met the boys mother and I was put on the emergency card. It seems ok there unless the ex complains, and even then, if the dad has me set as emergency, and it is ok for them to talk to me, she would be hard pressed to do anything about it. She would just be called to deal with things more often instead of me.
Now, as far as it goes, I am seeing the ease to which we could "set up house" in a totally different community, and do the "married with children" thing. And until something off the wall came about, no one would be the wiser.
As to the court papers, no, they don't always have to show the papers. Only if they have a beef with what the other parent is doing...say, the ex took the kid in, and signed him up for voluntary surgery,(say a tonsillectomy just because she thought that might help his breathing) and my man protested it, he has the papers to show how much say he has. I on the other hand, cannot take the little tyke in for just a check up with out a note from his father (or his mother). The mother could protest the note though, just the same as she could protest the dad taking the kid without her consent...Again she would lose, but the potential for hassle is there.
Are you totally confused yet?