Okay well, I don't see many posts like this on the forum and it's taken a lot of courage to actually post here as this is something nobody know about at all.Dating: 4/5 monthsShe's away, in fact gone back home for 3 months...its been a month - I've done something very wrong (and a guess i deserve to be judged for it). I slept with someone else. I don't even know what was going through my head - i can only assume i have a very low amount of will power possibly lonliness? Anyway the person I slept with I've known for a long time, we've had an encounter before (only a kiss) and I've always facied her to hell and back...just she's got a boyfriend as well...the same one as our last 'encounter' i doubt she'd ever really break up with him. Unfortunately I adore her and either she likes me a lot or leads me on so very easily. What we've both done is so very wrong. She's having relationship problems - apparently I am now too.On the night, we said we both felt a lot for each other (and I for one am not lying). The problem is I'm pretty sure I like her more than my current girlfriend.Anyway from where I stand, I see:a) a poor girl who's been cheated onb) a guy who obviously has no idea what he wants and is a total assholec) another girl who says she's always liked b)Now I need help. It's obvious (at them moment) my current realtionship was ruined by me. So what I'm thinking is breaking everything off and become single until I sort my god damn self out. I guess I shouldn't tell my current gf...and just break it off...say it's not working...But...if she ever did become single should I steer clear in future? Please don't flame me - I feel bad enough as it is...feel free to ask anything else. I really hate myself now - I never thought I'd be the one to do this, not one bit.
Not to be trusted
Welcome to A2A, Laslo.At the moment you are full of remorse and guilt, and you may well be too emotional to make good long-term plans. Don't do anything for a while and think it over.Don't assume that because you have slipped up and done the wrong thing that you're useless and your relationship is ruined. It means you slipped up, but it is up to you what happens in the future. You can decide to stop seeing this other girl. After all, she has a boyfriend, and despite the problems and your low opinion of him, she hasn't said she's leaving him, has she? Don't assume that because she had sex with you and told you she likes you that she's going to leave him. She may well be setting you up as a cuddle bitch, a substitute to turn to, but only temporarily, when things are rocky.If you leave this girl and get yourself back on the straight and narrow, I don't think you need, or even should, tell your girlfriend. In some cases a problem shared is a problem doubled, particularly if it is all in the past.
Thank you very much for your response, you've allowed me to calm down a bit and try to see things more clearly.You said stop 'seeing' her. I'm not 'seeing' her as in, "we are together as a couple" just to esablish that. Unfortunately she is a long term friend - there has always been something between us (Or so I'm lead to believe). Not seeing her would be difficult and people would definately notice I was avoiding her. I'm also led to believe she has emotional issues that make her insecure, and thus why she appears to be clinging onto her realtionship...she's also had very bad experiences as a child and with past bf's. The main thing for me to understand right now I think, is that i have to see what happens when my gf gets back here. Then I can make a decision based on events that have taken place between these times and understand what I truely want.I suppose this is my one and only dark secret, such a shame because I didn't have any before.