I really need to talk about this. It's getting me down and I feel like I'm going to explode if I don't talk about it.
I've liked this girl since the end of last year. I'm shy by nature, so it's taken a while to get to know her, but we're really getting along. She's a year above me. I don't think the age difference matters much to either of us, but she's heading to university in a few months and it hurts that in not-so-long she might be out of my life for good.
She's one of those rare girls that seems to have it all going for her. She's funny, smart, attractive, easy to talk to and she just brightens up my day every time I see her. I think we've made some big steps in heading towards a relationship, I've spent entire days with her, I text or ring her all the time, she's a brilliant help when I look after my nephew and she's been over to my house when my parents are out of town. Nothing happened of course, but my house is usually packed and so it was nice to have some company while they were away.
I still haven't told her how I feel. She's come back from social events sometimes and talked to me late night on IM, telling me stories of how guys she thought were just friends have told her they loved her and stuff. I don't know whether she's doing this to get my attention, or to warn me...
I really don't know what to do. My family's currently got some stuff going on which means everyone seems distant, so I'm in a pretty lonely place. My best friends have partners and are probably sick of hearing about it, I barely see them any more. This girl's turned into some of the only company I have in life right now. My family will sort itself out, but if I ruin things with this girl by telling her how I truly feel, I'm scared I'm going to sink into depression.
The good times I'm having with her just make me miss her more when she's not around. The highlight of the past few weeks of my life was just sitting on my bed with her laughing about stuff, with my arm around her.
I just needed someone to tell this to and discuss it with.