Ughhhhh...I can't figure how to title this. It's sounds confusing, but her goes. I can't remember if I've posted about this before, but a topic I replied to made me think of it. When I was a kid, before I started to masturbate, I found my dad's porn. I remember being really young because I couldn't read most of or all of the words on the pages. I just got really turned on. It was and still is a pretty dark secret, especially then. Not only was I not supposed to be looking at porn, but it was porn for men. I wished my mom had talked to me about that kind of stuff so I wouldn't have felt so disgusting for _years_ afterward. My parents are old school. They didn't talk about sex (and I sure as heck didn't ask), my mom didn't even talk to me about my period. Good thing I used context clues or I'd have been even more horrified by everything. I didn't even dare ask to date, have a boyfriend, or go to dances, it all seemed not allowed, especially the first two. These were sort of unspoken or not discussed, but just mentioned type of topics.
So, did anyone here have a first porn experience of seeing porn intended for the opposite sex [they are]? How did you understand/cope with it? Did it effect your sexuality, were you confused?
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Finding Same Sex Porn
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I would imagine your experience is pretty common. It's a pretty commonly accepted fact that men use porn more then women, so most porn is geared toward men. At the same time, little girls are probably just as prone to stumble upon their Daddy's stash as little boys are.
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That makes sense.
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My cousin and I stumbled across his dads Playboys. To this day I vividly remember the up-skirt shot that I found so intriguing. That led me to seek out another uncles art books with naked women in them.Being 36 porn was relatively scarce when I was young, though obviously not unattainable. I do believe that what I saw did have some impact on my own sexual understanding of myself, just not in the way that most would think. Being bisexual and growing up in Oklahoma in the 1980s I had absolutely no exposure to anything homosexual in any way. To my mind sex was the images of Playboy and art books and that's as far as it went. So, I had no understanding of my homosexual inclinations to the point I didn't even recognize them as such.I can't help but wonder had the Playboys not predispositioned me to certain expectations would I have been better able to recognize the totality of my nature. Personally I think that I probably would have.
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Originally Posted By: OldFolks
I can't help but wonder had the Playboys not predispositioned me to certain expectations would I have been better able to recognize the totality of my nature. Personally I think that I probably would have.
I think this statement might actually be more profound then you're thinking with implications beyond what you're considering! If you generalize beyond Playboy to any porn, and beyond your bisexuality to anyone's sexuality...well, there's enough there to write a Doctoral thesis! -
I think the totality you talk about would have been a lot easier for be to embrace and feel less ashamed about later in life if I had the same unknown-ness as you had growing up. Homosexuality was something my parents "lectured" about, from my crush on Michael Jackson and New Kids on the Block (because of their perceived lack of masculinity) to their once married friend that everybody talked about as being a lesbian...or as they would say "funny". I clearly knew, at a young age, what being gay was and it was wrong, people got made fun of and talked about.
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So not what I thought this thread was going to be about after reading the title hehehe But my first experience with porn was when I was 9 years old. I was at my mothers and stepfathers house for the summer and I was looking for a movie to watch because I was home alone and bored; they had a huge collect of movies. Well I stumbled across a tape with a movie title "Rosie Rabbit" and I remember thinking "I don't remember seeing this movie before". So I popped it into the VCR and I was shocked at what I seen LOL. I enjoyed what I seen and I remember getting erect over it, though not my first time getting erect. I remember watching a guy in the movie masturbate across a ladies boobs. I remember at first thinking he pee on her boobs because I had no clue what cum was at that time lol. But anyways that how I learned how to masturbate by mimicking the guys movements. That was also the same day I came for the first time lol. But anyways, that's pretty much my first porn story
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Yeah, I'm not trying to infer that porn is inherently bad. My main point is that knowing only one way left me at somewhat a disadvantage in understanding myself. Unlike Tangle, for me growing up homosexuality was not cast as evil. It simply was absent from experience. There were no examples to broaden the scope of sexuality and without any person or anything to look to for example all I knew was what I saw around me and what I saw in my very limited access to porn and none of those things educated the feelings I had.My contention is that, porn aside, had I seen that a relationship between two men was in the realm of real experience and had a better understanding of it I think I would have better understood the things I felt.
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I'm confused.From the title you said "same-sex porn". I don't think anyone has picked up on that.Did you find your dad had a collection of GAY PORN magazines - guys-with-guys - or did you find mainstream stuff like Playboy?
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No, I found my dad's Playboys, so for me it was same sex porn.... I didn't know how to title the post.
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I honestly can't remember the first time I was exposed to porn. It might have been coming across arty pictures of nude women and me thinking this was porn. Or at my mates house when I was 10 and him showing me his dads stash!I feel like from since that day I have been very sexualised. Soon after I would try to find porn as much as I could, often taking hours but to no avail, it was always a very secretive obsession which I would never talk to my parents about, only my friends. Maybe because of this I have a certain view of women? I dont know if its influenced my sex life because to me its normal!
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I think after this discovery, I started to act out more...doing, well trying to do, things I shouldn't have been doing.
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Your post got me thinking Tangled, so I started a post with a question of my own. About what if the things I do in bed with my girlfriend are wrong or not normal because porn gave me the idea. Some smart person said that just because it was in porn doesn't make it wrong! Sex and all its acts has always been around before porn was a twinkle in some film projectionists eye, so just because its in porn doesn't always make it wrong.What do you mean about acting out though?
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Well it does make it wrong when you're a kid.Just stuff...