Lost her and don't know what to do

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Hi all, first post from me :smile:

I've been reading this site for a while, trying to find anything to help me, but I can't.

My problem is my girlfriend, well ex now, split up with me just over a month ago. We'd been going out a year and then pretty much out of nowhere she spilt up with me. And it was seriously out of nowhere, we'd obviously had out ups and downs over the year, but we always made up and at the time when she dumped me everything was going well.

So anyway, she spilt up with me and its killing me, I love her so much and I know she still loves me (she has said she does on many occasions). Now that's where everything weird, I love her, she loves me and we still love being with each other, since silting up we've met up a few times and things have happened. Now obviously I've asked her why, and she's told me its because she feels she's being isolated, but although I believe that's she's telling me the real reasons, I still think its stupid because I only see her when I can, as I don't interfere with her life outside of me. I just don't really understand why, because the most important thing to me is that I love her and I love being with her and in my head that is all that should matter to her as well. I guess I understand her reasons, but I just want to be with her and I know she still wants to be with me in some ways. What I mean is that I think her friends have said stuff which influenced her (they've never liked me). I want her back, every night I feel like crap, sometimes I just want to die, sounds extreme, but I quite a sensitive person.

So what I'm really asking is does anyone know of anyway I could maybe try and get her back, she's means to much to me to just lose her, we still talk like everyday and I know she loves me. I just think she split with me because of the wrong reasons. So any help please :frowning: If you want to know more please ask, I don't no what to put really, just want help!

Thanks
Tom

Like most people say, don't try to understand women. Most of the time I've found there's no explanation for what they do. Yeah she probably does still like you and you still like her but she left. Does that even make sense to you? I didn't think so. You're better off forgetting about her. At least for now. Or what you could do, is ask out a girl who will date you and try to make her jealous of you.

Awwwww Sorry to hear about that...Life goes on. There's so much life can offer ahead of you, right? One day, you'll realized that this situation right now is not really worth to be cried on:) If you love someone, set him/her FREE...if she/he comes back then she/he will be yours FOREVER:)

Originally Posted By: cooldawg2 Or what you could do, is ask out a girl who will date you and try to make her jealous of you. That's low, I couldn't do that and I would never do it.I know I should forget about her, I've seriously tried, but she changed my life and I don't want to lose someone so important. Ahh, I miss her so much. All that matters to me if being with her, I wish there was a way that would make her ignore the stuff in her head.

Well it's the only way you could get her back. And if all that matters is getting back with her then that's what you gotta do.

There is nothing you can do, or at least right now.Longer relationships tend to take longer to get over. Maybe a month isn't enough for you guys to move on yet. But there are no magic words to win a girl's heart back after a break up. These things take time. Maybe she doesn't want to get back together right now because she's still full of emotions and confused.Have you talked about being back together? If so, what did she say?You just need to give yourselves time. But you must keep in mind to not put your hopes too high. If you truly love her, then you want to see her happy, even if that's with or without you.

yeah we've talked, she doesn't want. Ahh i hate this so much, i don't no what to do =( just feel like running away

If she says no, then you have to accept it. I'm sorry If you truly love her, then you want her to be happy. And if she's happier without being in a relationship with you, then you must accept that.Be happy that you still get to talk to her and be her friend. At least she's not out of your life completely.In time, you'll heal and find someone else.

DUDE! Been there done that, except I did that to my boyfriend. My reason that I broke up with my bf was becuz...well in a way I felt kind of suffocated by his constant calling, throughout the night and morning, the fact that when I wanted to go out with my friends and I did he would complain...and other reasonsBut how we patched things up was like, be friends but still together so basically without the title bf/gf. AND THAT actually helped out a lot I don't know why but it was like it was a breather for that moment. I realized why I wanted to get back with him cuz he was just so sweet and funny. I was so clouded by the constant arguments, silence on phone talks, the "I feel like a loser" thing...it just worked out. Now we don't argue much, we had our ups and down but now its just kind of a stable thang, its like a good friendship + loving, that makes it lasts so long.Try giving her a day or two to relax, and ask her if she just wants to hang out as friends or what not. Thats what my bf did, or wait til' she's ready. Soon you'll realize why you fell in love, or out and its a good way to see whats wrong and stuff. But first relax and slowly get into the whole break up thing...I dunno Thats how it worked for me and my man.Edit: Oh yea don't neglect to tell her what she meant to you...oh yea and my bf says that it felt like there was no pressure..when going out as friends. It was as if it was just friends for that moment

I completely understand what she means when she says isolated. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now, and as much as I love him, sometimes I feel like our relationship is isolating me socially. I feel like I want to see what it's like to be single, and flirting, and spend more time with friends, and such.I think that maybe you should let her go, and give her a chance to see if she's getting what she thought she was missing out on. If she still loves you, chances are she'll realize it isnt all that great, and find her way back to you.

Originally Posted By: aznthighsDUDE! Been there done that, except I did that to my boyfriend. My reason that I broke up with my bf was becuz...well in a way I felt kind of suffocated by his constant calling, throughout the night and morning, the fact that when I wanted to go out with my friends and I did he would complain...and other reasons I'm not like that I promise :). I like to see her having fun with her friends, as I said above I've never got in the way of her friends. She would tell you that to... Anyway... Originally Posted By: aznthighsBut how we patched things up was like, be friends but still together so basically without the title bf/gf. AND THAT actually helped out a lot I don't know why but it was like it was a breather for that moment. I realized why I wanted to get back with him cuz he was just so sweet and funny. I was so clouded by the constant arguments, silence on phone talks, the "I feel like a loser" thing...it just worked out. Now we don't argue much, we had our ups and down but now its just kind of a stable thang, its like a good friendship + loving, that makes it lasts so long.Try giving her a day or two to relax, and ask her if she just wants to hang out as friends or what not. Thats what my bf did, or wait til' she's ready. Soon you'll realize why you fell in love, or out and its a good way to see whats wrong and stuff. But first relax and slowly get into the whole break up thing...I dunno Thats how it worked for me and my man.Edit: Oh yea don't neglect to tell her what she meant to you...oh yea and my bf says that it felt like there was no pressure..when going out as friends. It was as if it was just friends for that moment Thank you so much for this response, seriously it's helped a lot and I think I have my head right now. This morning my plan was to forget about her, well not talk to her and then hopefully she would realize what she's missing. However, what you've said it truly so helpful! I think lately because of the split I've been acting like a bit of a prick to her, like not being horrible, but not being my usual self, not being the person she fell in love with. So I'm going to change that and try and stay positive and go back to the way i was. It'll be hard cos i feel pretty crappy, but I'll try. Like you said, in a few days I'll ask her if we can met up, and just hang out like we used to. Even if it doesn't work out completely as I want... as Virtual Star said, at least I'll still have her friendship and so many good memories.Woow, surprised how positive I'm being atm, don't worry it'll all change at night. The nights are hard Anyway... Thanks so much every for the responses, talk to you soon

The biggest question to ask you is: how old are you two?

does that matter?

Originally Posted By: cooldawg2 Or what you could do, is ask out a girl who will date you and try to make her jealous of you. Playing games like that will most likely just make the situation worse, and bring another person into it, who will also probably end up hurt.

Originally Posted By: Chellie

Originally Posted By: cooldawg2

Or what you could do, is ask out a girl who will date you and try to make her jealous of you.

Playing games like that will most likely just make the situation worse, and bring another person into it, who will also probably end up hurt.

Yeah i agree. Like I said above I could personally never do that. I don't know how anyone could try and hurt the person they love like that?

Ahhh, she wants to meet up again and of course I do, but I don't no what to do, I've been trying to act normal towards her, so that she remembers why she loves me, but I'm just dyeing inside =(. I really don't know what to do, carry on trying to act normal and see if i ever get her back, which i want more than anything, its just i can't wait forever, it hurts so much like talking to her and it goes so well, but then nothing changed and it just stays crap. Need help =(