This is just going to be a rant with me getting shit off my chest.All i have to say is i cant believe i was fucking stupid enough to ever start smoking. I started when i was 15 because i had a bad life and i was desperate to do anything to make me feel better, due to the fact i was suicidal. I quit when i was 16/17 and didn't smoke again until recently. The first time i quit it was easy, i just dropped it and walked away.Now im in a whole different situation. Im having cravings every couple hours, and i cant stop no matter how hard i try. If i dont smoke i start to get sick like i want to throw up, and it doesnt go away until i smoke. Im always sneaking away from my house going on "walks" because i dont want my mom to know (even though im 18). Really im sprinting to the park and running down to the creek to smoke, where no one can see me.Im constantly sneaking away to smoke.Im so fucking pissed i started smoking again, i really need help this time. I dont want to end up with lung cancer, i dont want to watch my cardio go to shit because of smoking. I want to be able to train for an hour and not be dying after 10 minutes (which im not YET, but i know it will happen someday if i dont stop).I just cant stop though. I have so much stress and pressure in my life, its one of the only things that makes me feel good anymore. Its so hard to quit at a time like this in my life when its nothing but stress and problems. My plan was to quit in Sept, but im still going to have the same problems then and i will be entering College which makes it extra hard to quit.I just wish i could wake up tomorrow and not be addicted to cigarettes. I try to quit every couple days, i even lasted for a week at one point but i folded and the addiction just got worse when i went back to it. Now i cant quit for more than 4 hours. I want to break down and cry, everything that i worked so FUCKING hard to fix in my peice of shit life just fell apart in a matter of months. I completely changed my life around in the past 2 years and i was so proud of myself, now im drinking almost every night and smoking half a pack a day. Dont even get me started on the drinking addiction thats a whole other story.I hate having addictive genes in my family. We have a bad case of alcoholism also. All i have is my beautiful girlfriend, who im so thankful for. Shes literally all that keeps me going, i would do anything for her. We are approaching a year soon and i couldnt be happier. Shes the only one here for me and shes all i have and without her i would be even more lost than i already am.Other than that i hate my life, i hate everything about it. Someday things will be different....i need help i know that......for tonight im going to go smoke a cigarette and go to bed. Gnight my A2A friends, im glad to be apart of this community, its the only place i can come and talk. God Bless you all!
I can't advise on methods, having been lucky enough to escape the problem in that particular form so far, but I can see that you have the desire and determination to change, and that's very important.
Perhaps I shouldn't be one to talk as a heavy smoker, but I certainly understand how strong the cravings are. I would definitely make a suggestion to you given how strong the withdrawal is that you're dealing with. And that is to try using one of the nicotine substitutes like the patch or gum. They diminish the strong physiological withdrawal symptoms and craving and might get you over that hump, especially with the motivation you're expressing.Also: You seem like a good candidate for a smoking cessation program. There are tons of them around, often very inexpensive or free, and they can give good advice and support. It might be very helpful to try one.Best of luck MMA!!!!
Hey, it's ok man, you are EIGHTEEN. I'm struggling with the same thing and I'm 35, started smoking at twelve, ya know? Also train and try to keep up with cardio. Quitting is actually not that hard. Staying quit is what kills, that will be with you for life. Just like the discipline required to do MMA, you need to have the same discipline to stay quit. Quitting does not cause any pain, nor will it kill you. In fact it will save your life.
I recently started back up again a month ago, and feel horrible. I know I'll get back on track though, as will you.