Earlier i posted about me and my boy drama. Well here it goes,we spoke and tried to even out our problems[first let me say that he is 19 and am 16] and i guess we worked it out because he asked me to marry him.[I said yes] After this happened he disappeared and went to petit savanne at his mothers.let
s say that he has been avoiding my calls and its his mother i speak to all the time.The one time i spoke to him i was going to take our daughter to the hospital and he rushed me off the phone because he was partying with his friends.The thing is i love this guy alot and it
s not because we have a baby,i loved him before it happened.Am asking,am i making a mistake trying to commit to him if he is acting like he does`nt give a f#*k about us?
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Am I making a big mistake?
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The reason we have a child, we were friends and when my ex cheated on me on an impulse i had sex wit him,hence the pregnancy which was a mistake until she came along.
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Your first mistake was fooling around with an adult male. And now it's only going to get uglier.
Honey, you're just a kid yourself. Do you honestly and think he wants to get tied down at his age? Get real.
He got a young teen girl pregnant and he's avoiding your calls, even when it involves your child. Not only is he a low life pedophile, but an uncaring individual.
Dump the guy and move on. You got bigger things to deal with.
This is not love. Not by a long shot.
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Ok am taking all this into consideration but am also thinking that he almost killed me when i suggested getting an abortion and where am from when a guy gets you pregnant he runs like hell is on his heels :).Anyway he stayed with me and placed a ring on my finger.Am just confused because am grabbing at straws here,he left his girl for me when our daughter was born[dat was not pretty ].I get the feeling that he wants to be where he is but he wants to do it his own way.Like I said am grabbing at straws and am making excuses for him,but i don
t want to give up so easy,we have been together for 10mnths and am trying to make it work,i just don
n know what to do.I can`t talk to anyone in my home and am hoping that i can get some great advice here.Thank you in advance -
Originally Posted By: capriprincessI get the feeling that he wants to be where he is but he wants to do it his own way.Bingo.He's a young male and he still wants to party, have sex, and be with his friends. He's not going to want to stay home and help you with a kid.
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All these things are true but saturday night was the only time that he didn`t seem to care that she was greatly sick and stayed in the hospital until lastnight and the part about sex,he has never cheated on me.[I think]
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Im going to have to be a little more cold here than Virtual. You already made 2 HUGE mistakes. First you (a child) got with an adult (a prick) and had a kid. What in the world were you thinking, what happened to BC and Condoms or did they happen to fail, in which case you should of had an abortion.
Your 2nd was being with him in the first place and having a sexual relationship so fast. This guy doesnt love you, you guys arent in love. What happened was he wanted to have sex with you, he told you he loved you and you believed him. And we even went so far to put a ring on your finger, he was thinking with his dick and now that it his dick is no longer interested either is he.
Now your life is potentially ruined. How are you going to get an education, start a career, work and raise a kid, how are you going to handle all of this? You are a kid yourself.
Ive been with my GF almost a year and love her dearly (we are both 18) but i would never put a ring on her finger (right now). I would love to marry her someday but right now we need to focus on education and life so we can SOMEDAY be happy and MARRIED and have good jobs and a good life!
Im sorry all of this happened to you and im sorry for sounding so cruel because i really am not a mean person. I hope everything works out for you, you sound like a nice girl, my advice ditch the prick and try to make your life work. Its going to be a long hard road and i hope you make it!
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So most of these things are accurate,I love him alot because if i didn
t baby or not I would have left him.Secondly,i am getting an education,after I had my daughter I went back to school,am #4 among 64 students,and i have a great G.P.A.Next year i will be graduating at the top of my class and am going to study medicine.[I plan on becoming an ob-gyn and majoring in forensic science] My daughter is surrounded by family and my parents raise her,we are fine and i didn
t lose out on the oppurtunity to have a life,i just have someone to share it with.I dont mind the fact that you are being harsh,it
s just what i need to hear,so that someone can wake me up from this fantasy world that am leaving in me and my fake prince charming.P.S My BC wasnt that effective i guess,that
s why i changed it after Hossana was born.Thank you[other comments and views are appreciated] -
Also abortion is illegal and is not allowed in my religion.
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I'm glad you have realized that your life isn't over as people imply. You're right. You just have someone to share it with. You did make a couple of mistakes but that's life. It's called being human. I admire you for being so dedicated to your work and it's fortunate that you have a family to help you take care of your daughter. But please remember that it is incredibly important for you to be the main face and guardian of your daughter's life. Your baby daddy is a bumchock. You can do better without him. Just stay strong. He doesn't deserve you. Just focus on your education and your baby girl. I hope all goes well for you.And Hossana is a really beautiful name. Powerful with great meaning =)
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Thank you guys so much for your inputs,am really glad that i was referred to this site and i signed,it has been a relly great help to me and my everyday problems.
Thankx you guys.P.S and i am a main face in hossana`s life,she say`s mama for my grandmother and mammy for me,she has never said daddy or dada,i guess it`s because she doesn`t see her father so much.(she is 10mnths)
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too many boys and girls growing up in fatherless homes
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It doesn't have to be a bad thing. Single moms and dads are able to raise happy kids as well as a married couple.All it takes is love.
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If you're a kid raising a kid, it takes more than love.
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I didn't meant strictly love. :P
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yes but it's easier when there's TWO.
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Of course, but life is never a fairytale.
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I admire you for keeping her and looking after her. We all make many mistakes, and I don't think what matters so much is how many mistakes we make, as how we handle the result.
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girl please. I got my prince charming! lol
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Originally Posted By: capriprincess
So most of these things are accurate,I love him alot because if i didn`t baby or not I would have left him.
Secondly,i am getting an education,after I had my daughter I went back to school,am #4 among 64 students,and i have a great G.P.A.Next year i will be graduating at the top of my class and am going to study medicine.[I plan on becoming an ob-gyn and majoring in forensic science]
My daughter is surrounded by family and my parents raise her,we are fine and i didn`t lose out on the oppurtunity to have a life,i just have someone to share it with.Thats amazing then, great job! I was not aware of your parents raising your child or else i wouldnt have been so "harsh". The important thing is you have the support you need and your allowed to continue your life! Sounds like you made your share of mistakes and learned from them and you have a good head on your shoulders. Glad to hear about your schooling and everything.
Take this "boy thing" as a lesson, you learned a hard one and at a hard age. I think you should seriously focus on your schooling right now and go where you need to go and raise your child. I would actually try to avoid relationships in your situation, you have a kid, the last thing you need is love getting in the way of your life and believe me it can happen. People will sacrifice everything for someone they love, enough to mess up a life atleast, believe me ive seen it.
Try to let the ass go (as hard as it is) you will be better off in the long run, and once your schooling is done and your career is on track, you can find that love you need once again, you will find the right person someday!
I don`t mind the fact that you are being harsh,it`s just what i need to hear,so that someone can wake me up from this fantasy world that am leaving in me and my fake prince charming.P.S My BC wasn`t that effective i guess,that`s why i changed it after Hossana was born.
Thank you[other comments and views are appreciated]