I went to my boyfriends house today. After an excellent day of shopping and trying on expensive shoes.. i went to this assholes house. I went on his computer.. he had a screen open.. I just went on to check my facebook... I checked his back button and saw http://www.plentyoffish.com . I was like "WTF get in here what is this?" he says it was nothing.. I checked back some more and saw he had been viewing girls profiles. I pretty much freaked and made him log on.He's been msging with other girls for about a week now.. as a "single" guy telling them that theyre cute and pretty and that his guy friends girlfriends always tried to set him up but he "wasn't into that kind of thing". Also replying to them saying he "likes the smart ones". I lost my mind on him. He said it was nothing.. (thats not nothing). We got into a huge screaming match... i slapped him about 25 times.. maybe more.. he wouldn't let me leave. I told him if he didnt let me go I was going to put his playstation 3 controller in the water... or smash his fish tank in.. ( i would have never done it!) so I left... he followed me to my car.. I yelled at him to get out.. that it was over.. and then punched him a few times. he finally got out of my car and I drove to my best friends house and cried and cried.. he tried calling me like 10 times and i kept hanging up. Finally I talked to him and he said it was nothing and he did it because he was insecure because I tried to break up with him 3 times last week. And that he loves me.. and that im the only person he wants to be with.Obviously Im not. I was so angry before.. Now I just feel depressed and let down.
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I feel like a fool.
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We've already discussed it. I feel like he pretty much blamed this on me.
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what a jerk. You don't deserve that mess. If he was feeling insecure he should have come to you to begin with. That gets me so upset. I had an ex do that to me Steph. When I was talking to him and "pouring my heart out" and the whole time he was talking to another girl. I was beyond crushed. He still has no idea how that hurt me and I doubt he really cared that much. I'm not the type of girl to just give myself to anyone. I'm not going to say heart-broken because frankly I'm glad I didn't give him my heart. Thank God I didn't. I deserved better and YOU deserve better. I think you should talk to him though about his issues. He may not have intended to hurt you and just didn't know what to do. He may have seen it as harmless. But still, his insecurities shouldn't lead him to other girls. Personally, I suggest forgiveness. I'm not telling you to give him another chance. That's entirely up to you but I do suggest you to forgive him. I just cried reading this post, bad memories. People are just jackbutts. I hope you feel better hun and you know I'm always here if you need to talk.
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Okay I will say that if I had a g/f and she tried to break up with me three times in a week I would feel a bit off put and wonder whats out there, but this may not be the case (do not know the whole story).Anyways... I think you should give it a cool down period and when you are able to talk again give it another shot. He may say it is nothing and to him it may be so, but when your partner says it matters well that makes it important to the relationship.
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APPARENTLY he did it because I tried to break up with him 3 times. So he must think I pushed him into it.
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He knows about this place.I guess the difference between here and there is that people look for help here.. whereas people look for bootycalls there.
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I'm not saying he didn't care. I just think he could have found a better place for a solution.It's a very disturbing thought knowing your "love" is speaking sweet for nothings to some other girl.
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Time usually helps with us males.
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oooh, he knows the difference after hearing what i had to say. You dont look for friends on dating websites as a single guy. Facebook maybe?
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Oh I thought you were talking about Steph's boo.No to be honest, I really don't think he cared. Now that I think back on it and his nonchalant attitude it makes sense.
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I think you were totally and entirely right to be so angry. People don't realize how lucky they are to have any girl I mean I'm 14 still no girlfriend and as soon as I get one I'm gonna do everything to not lose her. And a lot of guys I know get all depressed when their girlfriends break up with them because of some stupid shit they did and I just sit back and think maybe you shouldn't do that stuff and then you wouldn't be so damn sad! :scream_cat:
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I think the screaming, yelling, slapping and crying may have been abit of an over reaction.You probably shouldn't have tryed to break up with him three times in a week and he probably shouldn't have used that to justify chatting up girls online.It dosn't mean he intended to go any further with these girls, he could just be feeling insecure and wanting to feel he is still desireable to other women. You would know his motivations and emotions behind his actions if you had explained to him you were upset to find he was visiting these sites because you felt betrayed and cheated on by this behaviour and ask him why he had felt he had to go to these sites. Calmly.It's probably not as big a deal as you assumed it was if you really got to having a talk about it. Communication is your friend.Also, you may want to re-evaluate this relationship if you have tryed to break it off that many times and obviously do not have much trust or security in the relationship. Is this the kind of relationship you want to be in? Is it worth making an effort to talk things out and solve these problems or better to just move on?
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There is no chanc I will ever get back together with him. If you want to make friends... you join facebook.. not plentyoffish. He lied straight to my face when I asked him about it. I don't and will never trust him again
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I got the impresion you didn't have much trust there to begin with.
I'm sorry you feel hurt and you do have reason to feel that way.
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I'm with Rad on this one.Because of how our society has been built up on the past, the whole 'men being superior to women' thing which is obvious in our past (such as things like only men voting), guys feel they can do things that they'd rather women didn't. It's not a decisive thing, it sucks and causes plenty of problems but in most cases it's something subconscious. For instance, many guys in a relationship will have looked at porn at some point without their girlfriend realising. Many of them won't have any strong lust for other women and still love, and want to be with their other.Has he got a history of cheating? To me it feels that there wasn't enough trust. I would be pissed off too if I saw those things, but I'd trust my girlfriend that she wouldn't have been acting on it. We all sometimes playfully flirt without realising what we're doing, it's in our bodies to do so. 'Have sex with as many people as possible, survive and build up the human race', that's what we do. Maybe that was his way of reacting to you constantly trying to break up with him? It sounds like it fits the glove, however maybe there's more to it we don't know.Hope I helped.
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Hang on...didn't you say you tried to break up with him three times last week?How special is he to you if you were trying to ditch the guy 3 separate times last week? Why do you care so much if you were all ready to ditch him?Maybe he figured that, you know, you tried to break up with him 3 times, and so like...you know....maybe you didn't like him all that much? That's pretty much how I'd take 3 break-up attempts.I will agree that perhaps he jumped the gun with the whole "lets find someone else so I am ready when she does actually break up with me" - but I don't get why you're so angry when you were all ready to shove him away anyway.Of course the above is totally null and void if you didn't try and break up with him and you have all rights to get angry.also, this reeks of 6 year olds on a school lunch breakdouble also...am I the only one that thinks that "plentyoffish" would make a hilarious porn website address?!
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Is this the same asshole that said you were fat? If so, I say good riddance.
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I'm only new here and have not read any of your previus posts, however, it seems as if you did the rght thing in breaking things off with this guy. Though he it seems like he never cheated on you physically, he was definately doing so emotionally. There is just one thing that I don't really understand. You said that you tried to break things off with him 3 times last week. Did he only start going on the site last week, because thats what it seems like from him saying that he only did it because he was insecure because of you trying to break up with him? Or had he been going on the site before that time?
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thats him.
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Originally Posted By: mollydolly
Did he only start going on the site last week, because thats what it seems like from him saying that he only did it because he was insecure because of you trying to break up with him? Or had he been going on the site before that time?
This is what I'd like to know.
I'd also like to know why she tried to break up with him 3 times...and also why she actually didn't in the end. And also what time hometime is because I don't wanna miss rugrats (or whatever is on kids tv these days)