Should I?

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I have a girlfriend... but when she goes away to work... I still find it impossible not to grab a hold of my little bugger and give it Hell.It seems like we'd have more fun together if I were not so busy during the day, which is why I occasionally feel guilty about it, especially since I always make sure to surf through massive porn databases whilst in the act.Is this bad? LQ

This is only as bad as the two of you think it is.I've dated girls who didn't care that I used a little masturbatorial aide, and also thought the idea of me dancing the 5 knuckle shuffle was actually a huge turn on.If you want to know if it's bad, then you need to ask her what her opinion is on the situation, and if she minds that it fits into your relationship.My current interest and I, she sent me some of her own photos to help me out when she's away, and she doesn't mind if I use a little extra too. Then, lastly, if you think it's wrong, then you should follow your own beliefs. That or make new ones. If you're uncomfortable with the idea of you (or equally so, your GF) looking at Porn and rubbing off in the bathtub, then you obviously shouldn't be your own hypocrite. If that isn't the case, then you need to talk with your GF, as previously stated.

I have a job... but I do get a day off every now and then

Masturbating is totally natural and normal!! My GF masturbates as do I every great once in awhile. We've actually done it with each other (in front of each other) and we both think its a huge turn on.As far as the porn part, thats something you two need to discuss. My GF doesnt like the idea of me looking at other girls to get off, shes not jealous, shes just a sensitive soul and prefers it when i get off to her, with her, or thinking about her which is toally fine for me. Looking at porn is harmless, its just a visual aid, just like lotion is a physical aid. But it all depends on the couple and what your open to, so why not talk about it?

Originally Posted By: MMAfighter90Looking at porn is harmless, its just a visual aid, just like lotion is a physical aid. But it all depends on the couple and what your open to, so why not talk about it? Porn is now equated with lotion? I couldn't disagree more. In fact, I'll just go ahead and say you're flat out wrong. Would you like for me to introduce you to a long line of people who's lives/jobs/relationships/families/etc. were disrupted or even ruined as a result of porn?

I don't think you can simply blame the porn on whatever disruptions were made. Either it's someone's own lack of control that gets them in trouble at work, or an extremely close minded spouse that ruins your life.Blind nonacceptance woudl be the problem there, not the porn.

Originally Posted By: RainNightBlueI don't think you can simply blame the porn on whatever disruptions were made. Either it's someone's own lack of control that gets them in trouble at work, or an extremely close minded spouse that ruins your life.Blind nonacceptance woudl be the problem there, not the porn. So are you willing to say to the alcoholic who lost his family because of alcohol that the alcohol is not to blame? It's just his lack of control? What about drugs? Are we going to just throw away everything we know about addictions because addicts are just a bunch of weak people who can't get their sh*t together?A meta-analysis by Mike Allen (Univ. of Wisconsin), Dave DeAllessio (Richard Stockton College), and Keri Brezgel (Univ. of Wisconsin) shows that consumption of material depicting nonviolent sexual activity increases aggressive behavior, and that media depictions of violent sexual activity generates more aggression than those of nonviolent sexual activity.Malamuth, Addison & Koss (UCLA) conducted a statistical analysis on a large sample and found reliable associations between frequent pornography use and sexually aggressive behaviors.McKenzie-Moore & Zanna found through their research that even casual exposure to non-violent pornography lead males to view women as sexual objects.Dolf Zillman & Jennings Bryant, through extensive research, showed that prolonged exposure to pornography alters perceptions of sexuality, promotes acceptance of and increases tolerance of extra-marital sexuality, breeds discontent with physical appearance and sexual performance of intimate partners, promotes insensitivity towards victims of sexual violence, and creates higher risks of sexual violence towards women.Winai Wongsurawat, a National Economic Research Associate, showed that consumption of pornography contributed to a higher rate of divorce.Jill Manning of Brigham Young Univ. showed that, in large part due to the availability of pornography through the internet; couples, families, and individuals of all ages are being negatively impacted by pornography and in new ways.DeKesseredy, Rogness & Schwartz of Ohio Univ. show pornography as a contributing factor to divorce, separation, and sexual assault. All of these are research articles in peer reviewed journals. And this is just the tip of the iceberg. It is naive to assert that there is no harm from continued exposure to pornography.

So do I get to quote that back to you in one of those endless, nauseating evolution threads?Sure, that's the way it works. If someone says something you (in general, not Rad) disagree with you say "where's the proof? where's the research?" When someone actually offers empirical research, the response is "It's biased, motivated by agenda, paid for by someone biased, motivated by agenda, etc.". So what you're saying is that there is no basis for proof, no objective criteria to determine that one hypothesis might have more validity than another. Is that really where you want to fall down on this?

Not to be a pooty bird or anything, but your opinion is based on...well...your opinion. Mine is based on empirical research.

Can you show me any studies that conclude continued exposure to pornography has no negative effects?

(Oh, and sorry about the evolution thread faux pax.)

References, please, damien.

Originally Posted By: damien Originally Posted By: MMAfighter90Looking at porn is harmless, its just a visual aid, just like lotion is a physical aid. But it all depends on the couple and what your open to, so why not talk about it? Porn is now equated with lotion? I couldn't disagree more. In fact, I'll just go ahead and say you're flat out wrong. Would you like for me to introduce you to a long line of people who's lives/jobs/relationships/families/etc. were disrupted or even ruined as a result of porn? i said porn is a VISUAL AID much like lotion is a PHYSICAL AID, i never said they were the same thing. IMO porn is harmless if you talk about it with your partner and agree whether or not its ok. I think your wrong with your opinon because the people who ruin their LIVES over porn are obviously pretty fucked up and have much much deeper issues than porn. Not to be cold but if ur life or job or relationship gets ruined over porn your pretty fucked up already and have worse problems then porn.If your a normal person and dont have OCD or some kind of sick twisted addiction or any other problems then porn isnt going to ruin your life. Your statement is not fair and i think your wrong for using it because the people who ruin their lives over that shit obviously have deeper problems.

Quote:Are we going to just throw away everything we know about addictions because addicts are just a bunch of weak people who can't get their sh*t together?Alcohol and Drugs has a physical contact with your system.I hardly think you can equate looking at something to be the same as a substance addiction. From my own perspective, I've been looking at porn, I'd say probably every day for 4 years. None of that has affected me at all.And yes, I'd say someone who can't rip their eyes away from the nudie mags to be a weak person. A person who can't drop the bottle, I find to be a completely different arena, which has nothing to do with this situation a hand.  Quote:It is naive to assert that there is no harm from continued exposure to pornography. And it's insulting to call my experience naive.

Originally Posted By: IneligibleReferences, please, damien. (I've been out of school for a while, so please forgive me if my references aren't submitted according to APA guidelines. )"A Meta-Analysis summarizing the effects of Pornography II: Aggression after exposure"; Mike Allen, Dave D'Alessio and Keri Brezgel (1995), Human Communication Research, 22(2), 258-283."Treating women as sexual objects: Look to the (gender schematic) male who has viewed pornography"; Dough McKenzie-Mohr and Mark P. Zanna (1990), Personality & Social Psychology Bulletin, 16(2), 296-308.(Book)Dolf Zillman and Jennings Bryant. Pornography: Research Advances and Policy Considerations. Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, 1989.ISBN: 0805806156. "Pornography and social ills: Evidence from the early 1990's"; Winai Wongsurawat (2006), Journal of Applied Economics, 9(1), 185-213."Separation/Sexual Assault: The current state of social scientific knowledge"; Walter DeKeseredy, McKenzie Rogness and Martin D. Schwartz (2004), Aggression and Violent Behavior 9, 275-691.The Manning reference is actually a testimony by Dr. Jill Manning before Congress:http://www.lightedcandle.org/pornstats/porn_is_bad.asp

Originally Posted By: MMAfighter90i said porn is a VISUAL AID much like lotion is a PHYSICAL AID, i never said they were the same thing. IMO porn is harmless if you talk about it with your partner and agree whether or not its ok. I think your wrong with your opinon because the people who ruin their LIVES over porn are obviously pretty fucked up and have much much deeper issues than porn. Not to be cold but if ur life or job or relationship gets ruined over porn your pretty fucked up already and have worse problems then porn.If your a normal person and dont have OCD or some kind of sick twisted addiction or any other problems then porn isnt going to ruin your life. Your statement is not fair and i think your wrong for using it because the people who ruin their lives over that shit obviously have deeper problems. You don't know what you're talking about. I wasn't giving you my opinion. I was giving you research. Please understand the difference. To say that someone who's life has been affected by porn was already f-ed up is a cop-out, not to mention stupidly naive. Would you say that to someone who's life was effected by alcohol or a food addiction or anything else? Sure there are other issues that can be co-occuring with any kind of addiction, but you are pulling a causality out of your butt that doesn't exist outside of your butt.If you don't want to look at research/evidence, then that's fine. I often don't care to do so myself. But that sort of takes away your right to assert your opinion over real knowledge.I would also caution you against your apparent belief that your experience trumps other forms of knowledge.

Originally Posted By: RainNightBlueAlcohol and Drugs has a physical contact with your system.I hardly think you can equate looking at something to be the same as a substance addiction. You are wrong. Sexual addiction, of which pornography is a leading part, is a real issue that millions deal with. It's not just an emotion/mental issue. It's a neurological phenomenon. Here's some information for you:http://www.freespeechcoalition.com/FSCView.asp?action=preview&coid=133 Quote:From my own perspective, I've been looking at porn, I'd say probably every day for 4 years. None of that has affected me at all.Once again, your experience doesn't invalidate the real experience of millions of others, or the research/evidence based on their experience. Quote:And yes, I'd say someone who can't rip their eyes away from the nudie mags to be a weak person. A person who can't drop the bottle, I find to be a completely different arena, which has nothing to do with this situation a hand. I think I just showed you that you are wrong. Quote:And it's insulting to call my experience naive. It's insulting for you to twist my words to something I clearly didn't say. I didn't say your experience was naive. I said your assertion was naive. How can you even pretend to have a rational, logical discussion about something if you refuse to play by even the simplest of rules?

All I have to say is: It's my opinion, and my experience. If you want to pretend it isn't valid, I don't care.None of this is the point of the thread. The man asked if it was bad.The answer: No one knows, ask your Girlfriend.There aren't "rules". I'm perfectly capable of logical and rational discussion. Porn isn't one I particularly care to discuss, because, I have my share, and I like it. End Story.I don't see why you're so passionate about being uber-correct. Is not a simple "Maybe it is bad" good enough? Does that take 3 posts against 3 people?

Like previously mentioned by other post, alcohol addiction is a physical dependency and is much different than pornographic addiction. I understand what your saying and im not doubting your knowledge, but you honestly think a perfectly normal person (without addiction problems, who isnt completly freaken weak minded) is going to get on the internet, watch some sex and lose their life over it (let it go down the drain)?Fact or not i just have a hard time believing a normal person could have their life ruined over porn. I for one have never seen it, have never experienced it or even heard of it, so maybe thats why its so hard for me to understand that this could happen to someone who doesnt already have deeper issues.

I don't know, I think Damien is right. Too much of anything can be a bad thing.Also, I have known quite a few people with different addictions and they were/are far from weak individuals.

Originally Posted By: RainNightBlue

All I have to say is:
It's my opinion, and my experience. If you want to pretend it isn't valid, I don't care.

Once again, you're putting words in my mouth. I never said your experience or opinion was not valid. They most certainly are. I merely stated that opinions and experience don't rise to the level of universal fact. I'm sorry you misunderstood me.

Quote:

None of this is the point of the thread. The man asked if it was bad.

The answer: No one knows, ask your Girlfriend.

The answer is no if you want to completely ignore evidence that it can be bad. (Notice I never said it always had horrible effects.)

Quote:

There aren't "rules". I'm perfectly capable of logical and rational discussion.

Well, actually, there are rules. And I'm sure you are capable of logical and rational discussion. But when you consistently accuse me of saying things I clearly didn't state, you are not participating in logical or rational discussion. Do you not think doing so violates some sort of rule?

Quote:

Porn isn't one I particularly care to discuss, because, I have my share, and I like it. End Story.

and yet you're here...

Quote:

I don't see why you're so passionate about being uber-correct.

I am not passionate about being correct. I will acknowledge, however, that I am passionate about this subject. And I happen to have done a great deal of reading and research in the area. So when someone comes along and want to invalidate it all based on their experience or opinion or what they want to be true, you can surely understand why I might react.

Quote:

Is not a simple "Maybe it is bad" good enough?

Let me refresh your memory. This whole thing started with me expressing that kind of thought. My post was challenged, which was fair. I was asked to offer supporting evidence, which I did. I was told I was wrong. I responded. Maybe it would have been more convenient for you if I had left it there. I'm sorry to rain on your parade.

Quote:

Does that take 3 posts against 3 people?

I'm sorry. I missed the part where you were allowed to respond but I wasn't. Three people responded to me with objections. I answered those objections. If you don't like discussions, don't join them.

I am really not trying to be one of the contentious jerks here, and I think you all know I typically am not. But there are times when I am just not going to bow down. This is one of them.

Originally Posted By: MMAfighter90Like previously mentioned by other post, alcohol addiction is a physical dependency and is much different than pornographic addiction.If you would read the link I posted, you would see that the physiological/neurological component is almost identical. The only difference is that alcohol is a substance and sex is not. Quote:I understand what your saying and im not doubting your knowledge, but you honestly think a perfectly normal person (without addiction problems, who isnt completly freaken weak minded) is going to get on the internet, watch some sex and lose their life over it (let it go down the drain)?No. And I never said that. It would be ridiculous to think a single exposure would have that kind of effect. I am talking about repeated exposure. I probably didn't make that as clear as I could have. And I have even acknowledged that not everyone will suffer the same kinds of consequences. Quote:Fact or not i just have a hard time believing a normal person could have their life ruined over porn.I know. Crazy, right? But it happens on a regular basis. Quote:I for one have never seen it, have never experienced it or even heard of it, so maybe thats why its so hard for me to understand that this could happen to someone who doesnt already have deeper issues. Well hang on to your hat. You'll see it at some point. I have seen it. I have experienced it. I have friends who have experienced it. It's real.