Disclaimer: I have mucho respect for our service members. Mother retired after 24+ years of Active Duty. NOW, Here we go. This question is very, very simple. However the answer may not be. I pose this mainly for the females, as they are the only ones I've seen do this. Why, oh why, do people believe it is a good idea to get into a long distance relationship? What I'm referring to is this: I've seen three of my good female friends get into relationships with a guy in another state (TN and WA), or a member of the military who is going overseas. It's fairly common for soldiers to go over to Iraq for 6 to 9 months, and have their tours extended because of problematic rotation schedules amongst units. So why choose to get involved in something like that? I have not been able to find a good answer for this. If you'd be so kind. Arguments will get this thread closed, so please be respectful.
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Wimmenz, answer please
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well from my point of view, ive actually been in 2 long distance relationships. and the way i see it, is if you can develop common ground, respect, and trust between one another VERBALLY. imagine what you can do when you two become physically involved.
but there is a flipside, if either of you are incapable of suppressing yourselves whilst at such a distance, the relationship will fail for the simple fact that trust is a virtue. its needed in all relationships, and you develop it through verbalization's and by avoiding key arguements and altercations with your partner.
im currently inna long distance relationship with a girl from Louisiana, and i trust her, she has great morals and an awesome stability for avoiding disagreements. weve been together for a while now, about a month. and so far, i havent cheated on her, or hadda big arguement with her, small disagreements here and there but nothing that regular couples dont face.
in all honesty, i believe that long distance relationships are best with starting out, but prolonged periods of time avoiding one anothers physical temptations does get to you. which is why i believe a long distance couple should not be without each other physically, for no longer than 5 months. and thats pushing her, im actually going to see my current gf in december during my southern artists tour.
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Well, I don't have a clear cut reasoning, but I think something that should be mentioned is that: With a long distance thing, you're exposed to more people.If you grew up in a small town where you know everybody and everybody knows you (and they're always glad you came?), sometimes it's hard to find someone you really want to be with. Whereas, if you expand your horizons, it provides many more people of which you can be with. Perhaps to some people, a long distance relationship is the only way to be with someone special enough to even consider in the first place.Just some food for thought.
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Pure and simple; I love my girlfriend, and I will do anything and everything to keep her.Granted, I wouldn't join the Military in the first place, or take a job that would take me away from her, but if I were forced away for whatever reason I'd still try the long distance relationship.Edit: Why are you asking mainly women? I mean, doesn't it require both parties to be involved in a distance relationship? How can women do it more than men?
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i've been with my bf for almost a year and he is over sees. i met him 7 months before he went over there. the reason i'm still with him is cuz i'm in love with him and want to spend the rest of my life with him. and it takes a lot of trust and if u have trust and love for them it's possible to have a long distance relationship. it's hard sometimes the lonliness part but i just think that i'll get to see him again pretty soon and think how great it will be to be with him again. hope this helps with ur question.:) and i was replying to the original ? not kmrobins. sorry. still kind of new at this.lol
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I see. Thank you all for your input. But I still feel you are the minority of people who try or succeed at LD relationships. ...and I was mainly asking the women, because where I live, it's only the females I've met, who have military boyfriends serving overseas. All the male service members are more of the mentality of, "fuck that, I'm gonna be single while I'm over there so I can do whatever I want..." I think it makes a little bit of sense, being that a lot of guys are sexually driven, if they can't be physical with their female significant others, then what's the point of the relationship.....is how it's perceived. Also, forgot to add, that it seems like the few who have answered were or are in pre-existing relationships for some time before the distance started. One of you was 7 months? Yeah...I'm referring more to people who are together for maybe 2-3 weeks before the distance starts. That's not enough time to develop "love" for said person, honestly. If someone came on here spouting "I love him/her...we've been dating for 2 weeks" many if not all would call BS. Jus' sayin.
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Far be it from me to dispute your opinion, however I feel at this point, I must point out that in more than a few cases, people have met from continents apart on the internet, and fallen in love... whether or whether not you can define that as love depends on your opinion... for me, I never believed you could fall in love online, but it has happened to me, and I knew when I met her that I'd have to tread lightly or end up in love with my beautiful gf... and we are literally from opposite sides of the world, we started out as friends, but it got pretty evident as time went by that our feelings had grown beyond friendship!We've met up in person, we've done all the right things by visiting each others homes, and at the end of this year, I'm moving out to be with her, because I love her... just to say, it can work, it might be the exception but it can work... I love my gf with everything that I am, and I would do anything for her, as I know she would for me... and I know I'm not the only one... I remember a whole hour of TV dedicated to people who'd met online, in an effort to dispell the myth that people can't meet over the internet...There was a couple, guy from the UK woman from Canada, who met playing games on xbox Live! ... three weeks later, they were together and married.... it's now six years later, according to the show, and they are still marriedA couple from opposite ends of the UK met up and got married, after only 10 days of talking, 3 years later they're still togetherOne of my best friends met her other half through a website called dating direct, now a year later, they're still together!!There are also a fair few others on here who're in similar arrangements, as far as I can see... it's better to meet on the internet, because you get to know the person better, rather than the usual "pub approach" of "hmmmm, that (male or female, depending on preference) looks okay....hcccp" and taking them home, then discovering over the next few months you don't like that person... fair enough, I know it's still considered the norm for meeting your partner in person first, but think about it: Internet Dating sites are going down a storm at the moment, in this "communications" age, we can talk to anyone from anywhere and get to know them as friends and maybe more... heck, I could never have claimed to have been so happy before I met my current gf... so, yeah... imo, a lot to be said for getting to know someone before you hop into bed with them!!Anyway, food for thought methinks... just because some people still associate the "internet meetings" with a certain sort of stigma, doesn't mean you hafta listen to the rumourmongers... yeah, bad things happen because people have met over the net... but when you add up all those bad things, and then compare with figures such as how many people have been sexually assaulted whilst under the influence of alcohol (for example)... sometimes you just have to think for yourself, and not be brainwashed by mass media coverage!!Anyhoo... it's a choice, not a compromise... after all, the whole world is our (mankinds) playground really... nobody says you hafta stay where you're born... specially not in this day and age... less than a coupla generations ago, it would have been unheard of to even be having this conversation with so many people worldwide, let alone have the ability to meet everyone involved in one lifetime, because of how long travel took... now, it can take less than 2 days to get literally all the way around the world, so I would pose the question: is it not more the ability to open your mind to the possibilities? Or are you (as in everybody who wants to ask the question) going to close your mind to the possibilities, and deny that anyone can sustain a long term relationship?I have done so... and I can't deny, it is less than ideal, because the majority of time, I want nothing more than to hold my lovely lady in my arms (along with a myriad of other things which have a rather high rating, and are not for the ears of the young uns among us) ... but I will soon, everybody gets there in the end, wherever their personal there is... all be it next door, or around the world... what difference should the distance make when you can literally talk every day with the likes of MSN, Yahoo messenger, and SKYPE to name but a few!Jus' Sayin
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well i do agree that if it's for 2 or 3 weeks then yeah u can't be love him or her, it takes more time than that. i don't know makbe they do it cuz they really "like" the person and hope that it will work out even if they are long distance.