So my girl and I have been together for 6 months, I'm 20 she's 19. We fool around frequently so we're both very comfortable with each other. About a week ago we had sex for the first time, her first time ever and my second (different girl, obviously). So I was really gentle, used a condom of course, took it slow and everything but it was still pretty painful for her, which was to be expected and she did bleed a bit. I told her to stop whenever she needed to. I was on top first for about a minute or two. But then she asked to be on top and said it hurt alot less (probably because she had more control) we kept going really slow for a few minutes and then she asked to stop so we did.btw, dunno if it matters, she happened to have a physical booked the next day and got a pap smear. she said it hurt ALOT. Then about three days later we were at a house party and got pretty drunk and started fooling around. We decided to do it again. This probably wasn't the best idea in the world... we were both really determinded to do it (cause we were bombed) but every time I entered her she was like "ow fuk! stop!" and pulled away, but we kept trying and it wasn't getting any better (to drunk to realize this wasn't gonna get alot better) we both kinda had a hard time staying aroused (probably cause we spent awhile trying to find a place to go and ended up outside on the grass behind a tree!) yikes. In the morning we figured out she bled quite a bit more this time.The next afternoon we tried again. Once again, made sure she was REALLY aroused, put lube on the condom this time and once again "ow fuk! stop!" I was on top for a bit and it was actually going ok for a minute but then she asked to be on top again and as soon as we switched it up thats when she said to stop. then we decided to give it a rest for a few days. Because it was probably because of the night before. She didn't bleed this time though.then lastnight (3 days later) we were fooling around and tried again. this time the head of my penis was barely inside and she said stop. we talked about it alot, she says it hurts inside, not as much out I think. like her g-spot/A-spot area. she said its sore, mabey it's not as much a pain, just sore, I'm not sure. she is a bit smaller then the average girl ( I'm mean her overall body) and I'm kinda a bigger guy but my dick isn't like massive or anything, average I think. And I was never like aggresively thrusting or anything even close to that.Any thoughts? Anyone have a similer experience? I was thinking mabey we should give her like a week to rest. It's frustrating cause she goes away to school again soon so we've been intimate and fooling around alot. We both really want to do it like full out, just go at it. But it hurts her. And and it hurts me to hurt her, cause I love her so much. But we both want eachother. It's tough.I tried to explain as much as possible and give as much info as I could, thanks for reading. Any help appreciated
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Painful sex, worried
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Anyone have a similer experience?
Yea. My girl hurt for the first few times. Not to the extent your girl is tho. Her's came after.
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It sounds like its a little more painful then it should be. My girl hurt the first time, and then we didnt have sex for a month (or fool around at all) and it hurt worst the second time, after that it was fine (except for hitting the cervix on accident sometimes).You said you used lube and everything and your arroused but is she nervous at all? I know you guys are comfortable with each other but is she thinking "i cant wait to have sex" or "omg is it going to hurt again?"Maybe shes thinking about it hurting too much and shes nervous (which would make her tense and tighter) and shes not relaxing and fully enjoying it. Just make sure she really is comfortable and relaxed and not nervous, use alot of lube, go slow and try that.
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I didn't fool around for a while afterwards, because it hurt too. Give her a few days, to heal, and next time might hurt like the guys said, but it should stop hurting after another time or two. She is probably still trying to heal from the first time, and the trip to the gyno the next day.
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Hey thanks for the replies! Yeah I'm thinking she just needs a bit of time aswell. And the pain is probably normal and all, it's just frustrating more then anything. I just kinda had to spill the beans to someone about it I guess. Thank you guys
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dude i feel your pain, it took a whole month for my girl and i to even get all of me in. Like most guys i thought i was small down there ( which is an optical illusion caused by the birds eyed view we have of ourselves) but apon measurement and comparison to medical research I am actually bigger than 98% of the male population, which you would think is awesome right...yeah not so much sex requires special sex positions so that I dont go too deep or too hard( but she still gets bruised and sore on the inside and cant walk for like an hour) the book that really helped us get through it and gave us alot of insight was " The cosmo Karma-Sutra" it's a pink and red book that can be found at spencers gifts online, and ou yeah tons of lube, the thicker, gel, the better. Good luck it's a pain in the ass.
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Since she also had pain with her pap smear, I'm thinking it might not be you. She could have a latex allergy, so try latex free condoms. They are harder to find, but most drug stores will have them. You can get lambskin condoms which are really expensive--like $30 a box, but there is also a cheaper plastic material that is around $8 a box. If the pain continues, she should see her gyn again. Sex for me hurt really bad at first, but it turned out that I have a bladder disease that can make intercourse painful. Drummer, my husband and I have the same problem you have. We went to one of those specialty stores and got a dildo that was the same size as my dh. The vibrations helped loosen me up so total penetration was possible. After lubing up and stretching out, dh and I can have sex with abandon. I don't get bruised or have pain after anymore. It is possible.