How Do You Deal With This Thought?

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How would you deal with the thought of thinking about an ex girlfriend sleeping with someone else?

They are an EX... who cares? You're an Ex too... does that mean you can't/shouldn't sleep with someone else? Doesn't make sense.

The only reason this is bothering you is because you are jealous and haven't gotten over the breakup yet.

It would only affect me if i wasnt over the break up. I could care less about any of my exes having sex with other people right now because im happy in love with my current girlfriend and shes the only one that matters, i dont even think about my exes. But if i were to break up with my current girlfriend tomorrow well then thats a different story. I wouldnt be able to handle the fact shes sleeping with other people, until i was fully over her.

I don't think jealousy is the same as feeling pain over the thought of ones own ex girlfriend who you still have very strong feelings for are one in the same. I guess the real question should be how do you deal with it and what can one do to overcome that feeling?

It really doesn't matter who it is, the matter at hand is how does one overcome these feelings of pain and anguish. How can one stop feeling so depressed over the situation and find a way to go on with ones life.

I'm sorry to say this but I take personal offense regarding your comment of jealousy. I am not jealous nor will I ever be. I have no reason to.

Le sigh...this is about me...  Quote:I don't think jealousy is the same as feeling pain over the thought of ones own ex girlfriend who you still have very strong feelings for are one in the same. That IS the definition of jealousy.But I think this what you're leaning to: You're not jealous because I'm being around other guys or the possibility that I am sleeping with one (which I'm not, not that it should matter anyway) but you're worried that I'm going to be hurt by someone.Am I in the ballpark?Either way, don't worry about it. I'm going to be fine and you need to let that feeling go. This is exactly why I don't want to tell you too much because I knew you'd over worry. I can take care of myself and IF I do get crushed, I'll get over it.You have better things to worry about than me. Remember that.

I may have better things to worry about and I know have to get over it but when someone has invested so much time and so much emotion into someone else these feelings are bound to come up especially after a break up. I am just happy that nobody cheated on anybody. But the problem I seem to have is not feeling angry over the thought of someone who you held so close to your heart sleeping with other people it's the pain, the depression, the sadness that is the affliction. I really wish it were that easy to just forget about it. But unfortunately it's not. This is something I feel will take a long time to get over and knowing it's my fault is the worst part. And knowing that there's nothing I can do about the break up is simply unbearable. All I know is there is no way, no how I can change the situation and that is what has me under a deep deep depression. All I can say is from here on end it doesn't matter anymore, things wont go back to the way they were and all I can do is just sit here and suffer. I know I'll eventually move on, but for now I just feel dead.

Don't worry about it it's cool.

It seems you're going through another one of those "moments". I'll talk to you soon.

To Rad: No need to be sorry, though the sentiment is appreciated. :smile: We've been apart since the end of June.

Funny thing is, you never think of this during the relationship.

Originally Posted By: JEDI-ALCHEMISTHow would you deal with the thought of thinking about an ex girlfriend sleeping with someone else? It all really depends on your role in the break-up. If you ended the relationship then not only should this thought not concern you but if it does then its your own fault.If you were the "dumped" partner then dealing with it depends on what kind of person you are and what kind of feelings it evokes in you. As stated before, jealousy is one emotion that is very common and, in this context, nothing to be ashamed of. You want what you can't have anymore and it hurts. Some people feel anger because they have some thought in the back of their head that even though they are not together anymore, they have a nostalgic feeling that they should still be faithful to one another. There are also feelings of embarrassment, 'what if the other person is better than me?', 'what if she talks about how bad I am in bed?' These are just feelings of paranoia and are usually baseless.The most common resolution to these feelings are simply to put the whole thing behind you, move on. You don't necessarily have to find someone else but it can help. From my own personal experience, when I heard that my ex was dating someone new I felt physically ill and full of anger. I was alone at the time and had never really tried to get over her and I suffered because of it. But I dealt with my feelings, I focused my attention more on my own love life than keeping track of hers. Now I simply don't care, its her life and has nothing to do with me any more.

_I'm sorry to say this but I take personal offense regarding your comment of jealousy. _

It wasn't meant to offend. I can't do anything about it if you took it that way.

Sometimes it's hard to see the truth.

think of it this way, you broke up for a reason and there is zero chance youre going to get back together... just say fuck it and find another girl

Sounds like a an answer from someone with very little relationship "experience". Dont meant to flame but if it was that easy for him to say "Oh well fuck it" he wouldnt be in this problem. Feelings dont die down overnight it takes weeks, months, years possibly for certain people. Especially if you loved the person or still do love them.

Thank you! Finally someone who gets what I'm trying to say! That whole reply minus the part where he says sorry about the flame is the message/question I'm trying to convey.

So you're jealous, if not of her supposed miscellaneous fucking then of her ability to get over the relationship much quicker and cleaner than you can. Be offended all you like but it seems like thats what the problem is.

You know what, I'm just going to leave this alone I don't want to make things any worse than they already are, can one of the mods please delete this thread I would really appreciate it. And it's doesn't matter if anyone is right or wrong or if someone says "aha, now you see that we are right" or "Stop trying to avoid the subject" I want this thread deleted so please can anyone who has the power to do so please do so thank you. EDIT: I am not nor will I ever be "jealous" so please stop saying that I am. Thank you.

You ARE jealous, no matter how much you deny it or take offense to it.

You have your own life to worry about. Stop worrying about what I do. My life is fine but you still need to work on yours. The more you think about what I'm doing, the less you're going to get accomplished.

You're never going to be happy or get out of this feeling of loneliness if you continue what you're doing.

It's over, and you have to realize that.

Like I said earlier delete this thread.