19 months down the line

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That's true Well, I've already slipped in the issue of gay friendship into a conversation, i plan ahead haha! We were discussing it and i asked if... 'Bob' (great name choice i know,:P) told him he was gay, how would he feel? Bob by the way, is another friend of mine who went through a stage of being flirtacious with me, and my est friend noticed, hence the conversation.And his answer was "I'd be okay with the gay thing, but i'd be so scared of him wanting me!!!" which made me think "NOOOOOOO" but the more i thought about it...this Bob is a horrible guy, he cheats on everybody he's with, he's that "slimey creepy but oddly charming" type of character.so i thought, okay well we're two different people, so my best friend could think differently if it were ME saying it. But then again, he might hate Bob a lot, but he has his moments where they get along too, they used to be close a few years back.BUT THEN AGAIN, this was BEFORE the incident on saturday night, when i can't imagine somebody compeltly against the whole gay idea would get so close? i mean...half naked...pulling me on top of him...his pyjama pants slipping...him letting me rub his chest and back...kissing his neck and down his spine...i mean COME ON?!?+ one thing i forgot to mention about saturday night, is that when he was erect...and one point, he slowly pulled my hand towards 'him' so i'd notice, and at that time his trousers were low ish...and our lips soooo nearly touched, but our faces were like, centimeters apart when he tickled me again and i fell backwards!! :P

oh, and i do plan to talk to him about this of course, i just want to try and work the situation out as much as possible for myself first...

i know, i'm just...arghh! i guess all i've posted so far is about how i like him. but behind all of that i can't help thinking, well if he doesn't like me, WTF is he doing acting like he did on saturday night? i'd feel so, lead on and stupid. I guess that's what i'm fearing.Even though i love him anyway, i always have done because love obviously isn't only present in a relationship, and i still would if he said he didn't feel anything...but i'd still have that feeling of stupidity to overcome. and i would feel the need to tell him he's acting wrongly if he doesnt feel anything. but then maybe that's just me...maybe what he's doing is fine and i just don't see it?

that's what i've always thought, obviously not what i'm hoping he'll say, but what i've thought deep down i guess, that he think's it's normal and okay.i'm going to stop now before i over think things the way i usually do and get myself worked up. everyone else feel free to keep posting while i force myself to stay realistic...

Hey there I've been away from the boards a few days.. damned internet went down lol.Anyways, though ti was a hard move I think you did the right thing by breaking up wth your girlfriend. What doens't kill you, makes you stronger As for your bestfriend just take it slowly. There is no rush at the moment. Though as I have stated before I do think you eventually need to have "the talk" with him hehe.Again please keep us posted, we're here for ya