Boner just.. gone?

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The other day my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he randomly went soft, right in the middle off it. He kept trying to bring it back, but he could only get a little stiff. He said that he was still into it mentally, but it just wouldnt get hard? Should we be worried? This is the first time it's happened. He's always been quick to get hard and stay hard before.

This is not something to worry about. It's harder on the guy becasue he thinks you think you're not exciting him enough to keep it hard... Shit like this happens from time to time. Guys hate it when it does, but it does nonetheless.... Maybe for a breif moment hit hurt.. down it goes.. Maybe for a split second he thought about work.... Down it goes...Do not worry.... He's young and it will get hard again....

I haven't been having sex for too long, but I still have a lot of trouble not being self-conscious and thinking about how I'm "performing".

Am I going too fast?
Too slow?
Too hard?
Too deep?
Is she liking it?
Maybe she doesn't like this position?
I hope her legs aren't getting tired...
DID SHE JUST YAWN??? OH GOD!!! IS SHE BORED?? AM I THAT BAD??
Am I gonna cum too quick?
Geez, it's taking me too long to cum! She probably thinks she's not turning me on??
Gee, it feels like she's getting a little dry...maybe I'm hurting her??
Maybe I'm not turning her on??
Maybe she doesn't like me??
**
See?...Sex is a PERFORMANCE for us guys! And when we get too worried we're not performing pefectly...the boner starts to go away. Then we get REALLY NERVOUS...and then it goes TOTALLY AWAY!**

(I think I need nerve pills!!)

How true!

No kidding, I was on a trip to a girl I had started to really like over this summer for a few days, for some reasons it could have been a once in a lifetime thing, and I knew that. :S Well, we ended up in bed and I was way into it, but went limp before she showed me she wanted to have sex. Ugh. Yes, I knew it was probably because of the pressure on me to have sex that night or perhaps never again (we live far apart and she was also dating), but that of course didn't make me less regretful when I had come home again. sigh To make matters worse, I've rarely even been in relationships or have had sex before.Being the super kind girl she is, she said she didn't remember that night very well anyway because we had a little to drink before going to bed, and said she wished she had performed better too. It's probably just something she's said to not make me feel bad for it, because we really didn't drink more than something like two glasses of wine each. Maybe we both know that without having touched the subject again.Now she's among my best friends, with me constantly bordering on feeling a bit more for, that have entered a relationship. Some things in life you just wish to rewind and try again. I'm still dating too, but I have yet to find a match like her...

Boner's strength hugely depends upon mental situation and lesser upon physical conditions. The more passionate a boy is , harder is it. So do something to ignite fire in him and tell him to get more passionate about it. Need some off the field pondering for this

Originally Posted By: Lycanthrope... So do something to ignite fire in him and tell him to get more passionate about it. ...But be careful, because I know sometimes I really DON'T feel like doing it. Maybe I'm tired or if my brain is somewhere else at the time. If my gf came onto me real strong when i feel that way I'd feel REAL pressured to perform, and I bet it wouldn't work very well. In times like that, we'll usally just cuddle and touch...and if it turns into something more...fine. If it doesn't...fine.

Girls should use that as a judge. The same thing has happened to me; believe it or not, sometimes guys do not want to get their member pulled, etc. Girls are pressured to perform, but so are guys. In a caring relationship, there is no pressure because your improving best is acceptable.

May I say welcome to A2A, riainirishboy, and how impressed I am by your posts!

I read something a long time ago where someone made a statement that stuck with me.
Guys masturbate allot, and when we do allot of us just basicaly are focused on blowing our load and not enjoying the pleasures of it all. By doing this we are basically conditioning our brains to try and cum fast and not have long lasting erections.
A god tip for a long lasting erection is to masturbate for longer periods of time and essentially retrain yourself for a longer sexual experience.

Also it is doubtful that it is your fault, I have had this happen to me before and it is VERY VERY annoying. Allot of the time it is just all mental though, my problem was as stated above, I had trained myself to focus on cumming and not overall enjoyment of the sexual experience.

The best thing you can do is if this happens again tell him you took a look on the internet and it is perfectly normal for it to happen. Because what you dont want to happen is for him to get into a vicious cycle of worry where he goes limp because he is worried then he worries more, and it happens more often.

Also many other things can make this happen, for example if he is very tired, dehydrated of very hungry or maybe hungover from a night before or not feeling his best due to a cold or somthing else.

Hope this helps, don't worry yourself as he is worrying so much more than you I guarantee it.