This Friday night, there is a dance at school. Incidentally, it is also my friend's (we're in the same grade, and I've known her forever) sister's 21st birthday party. Do you know what I'm doing? Do you think I'm going to this said dance, as any normal teenager would, considering it's my final year of school? To answer this question, no I'm not. I'm babysitting. You know who's sister? The sister of the girl I mentioned above. Is this normal? (rhetorical question)
Ok, so that was just a lead up to what might turn out to be a little, shall we say, rant. I feel sorta bad posting such insignificant crap up here, but for now, it seems like the only outlet I have.
It's always been like that, I don't often go out to places because I don't feel like I'm really wanted there. People can invite me, but then I just feel like the dumbass tag-along. You might be thinking, well if they bothered to invite you they want you there, but honestly it's just out of politeness. Whenever people need someone to help them out, give help with homework, or any of that kind of stuff, they call me. They think I'll always be there, and you know what, I am. But I'm getting tired of it.
There's another girl, let's call her Emma, (this all sounds sooo stupid, I know but I'm getting sick of writing in a diary were I get no replies) whenever I call her, she always says that she was about to call me. I'm conducting a little experiment at the moment, I'm waiting for her to call me. I haven't heard from her since the beginning of August. And we were supposed to be ''close''?
One more thing about this stupid, god-forsaken dance. All my 'friends' have boyfriends. So, they'd, obviously, go together. This is yet another area where I just don't fit in. I can barely hold onto a guy, and the one that actually stuck around for a while turned out to be a complete dick. There's also this other guy, who seems genuinely nice, but you never know (sorry to all you nice guys out there); but of course, he has a girlfriend, who it seems he will only break up with if hell freezes over. But I wouldn't want him to anyway, for whatever reason, because she seems to make him so happy and I think that when you have as strong feelings as I've stupidly allowed myself to develop for this guy, you just want to see them smiling, not sad.
This has gone on for long enough, and if you have stuck with me for this whole mish-mesh of god only knows what, then I thank you for listening. Really truly, thank you for actually bothering to listen.