I Don't Know What To Do

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On september 21st I met someone at a Doctor Who fan club meeting. We started dating. Her name is Toni and well, she is everything I ever needed in a woman. That day I met her I asked her for her cell phone number and apparently I thought she would be one of those girls who would just blow me off completely and consider me a total waste of time. As it turns out I was the first person to ever ask her for her number. The following week I called her asking if she wouldn't mind going to go see Eagle Eye with me and she said yes, to my surprise. The next day she called me asking to if I would like to go to some comedy club and I said sure. So when we got there we ended up making out. The following day she slept over and the following morning we went to a costume shop in glendale by the galleria and every time I would start to say something I would first say "I don't want to be a jerk or anything but". It turns out that due to how my ex treated me through out the relationship I was walking on eggshells. With her I would always have to watch what I had to say and watch how I acted as to not get her angry and have her yell at me. All in all I couldn't be myself. She then told me that I don't have to walk eggshells because I'm not with her anymore and that I'm safe now, to just be myself. And I did so. Now I feel more confident. She noticed that I look more attractive when I'm confident and that it shows power and Strength . Something I lacked before when I was with my ex. Now the problem is we have been having unprotected sex and when I brought up the question of what should we do if she is pregnant she said she would abort the baby. Naturally I was shocked to hear this because it's not only her child but mine as well. Now I believe that a woman should have the right to choose, it's their body. However in this case I feel that I should have a say since I am, or rather, would be the father. I don't know what to do. I feel that because of this I should stop seeing her and just be her friend or just continue seeing her. Because after all if she isn't pregnant why should I stop seeing her? Also I am afraid that eventually she'll end up emotionally abusing me like my ex did. I'm just so accustomed to be treated like crap that I crave it and need it. Can anyone help?

Wear a condom.No baby, no conflict, problem solved.

LOL... Are YOU that "ex"?

Yeah, I'm the "emotionally abusive" ex. Funny thing coming from him, since he had nothing but the nicest things to say to me on our last phone conversation.But oh well!

Shouldn't you like... not even be in this thread?

I would have but I've been in a fantastic mood lately, so whatever.Besides, it's not like I purposely gave a stupid answer or something (I hope).

Actually, yeah you kinda did.

Fantastic mood to just come on here and give me bad advice? And as for that phone conversation, I may have said the worst things in the world but believe me when I say that I regret every single word I said and that I am most indeed sorry. But to be honest that's not s going to matter to you. I could say it a million times and it wont matter even if I really mean it from the bottom of my heart. Considering since those words stopped meaning anything to you. Oh and another thing, you were emotionally abusive. Through out the final year and months I was with you I would have to walk on eggshells just so I wouldn't say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing to constantly annoy you. I was afraid of you. You're not supposed to be afraid of the ones you love. One moment you'd be all happy go lucky and I would think this is cool then you'd be very angry and take it out on me.

How was that bad advice? You're afraid of getting her pregnant, so wear a condom. It's common sense, is it not?

So as I was saying, is it a good idea to just forget about her if she would eventually abort the unborn baby? I mean I understand that it's her body but I would feel tremendously crushed if she aborted it. I have started to use protection, but like I said, I don't know what to do. And also the same thing regarding the emotional abuse I went through in the past. So, right now I'm in limbo. Because I have no clue where I'm going and how I'm going to deal with it. There is also one thing that has changed everything, I have a job now so I'll be able to support the baby(If indeed there may be one) with help from my parents. So if anyone can offer some REAL feedback I would appreciate it.

Because it's common sense. Which I have barely begun to use sadly. And I have started using protection. so for now I don't know what to do with this possible problem.

You're being paranoid and putting too much thought into this too soon.It's almost like you're looking for a reason not to date her.You're fine with a condom, but if you insist, ask her how she feels about birth control.

Yeah it may seem easy on the outside but it's worse on the inside. It'll get worse before it gets better. After what happened, I feel like I jumped in too soon. At least I have my job to keep my mind busy.

Besides why are you offering me advice? I'd expect you to not give two shits about me after what happened recently. And I don't mean to be offensive when I say that.

Because I'm a better person than you.And if that's offensive, so be it.

You're a better person than me? That's bad comedy. You call someone who emotionally abused their loved one better then the one who was abused? That's bull shit. Please stay out of my personal business. This does not concern you so get the fuck out of here. So as I was saying can anyone here help me out?

I think you should be telling this girl your feelings about these issues. It seems to me that it lies deeper than just what happens if she gets pregnant.

She kinda did give you advice.Move on .. stop worrying about it so much.. wear a condom next time and you wont have this problem again.

Originally Posted By: Virtual_StarWear a condom.No baby, no conflict, problem solved. The exact advice I would give. I also agree I would talk to her about possibly also going on birth control. The pill plus condom is about a zero risk of getting pregnant.

It does, because even though I feel it's a woman's right to choose I still feel that if the father feels that he wants the baby he should at least have a say in the matter. As in he could take care of the child. I really do care about her but if she were to abort the baby and tell me she did that, well, I would be crushed.