Shit to kill time looking at

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what a prick

If I was a woman I would want one of these.

For the man, there's this.

A golf club you can piss in with a towel on your waist?yeah, thats fucking discreet all right! Almost as much as pissing in a gatoraid bottle with a jacket pulled around you!

Scene 1: On the golf courseFour golfers approach the thirteenth hole.Tony (rabbitting on): . . . And I always wear my lucky cashmere scarf to golf. I got it in Peru one day . . .Pete (thinks): Why did I drink so much water? . . . At least I have my UroClub . . .Tony: Pete, are you pissing into your golf club? Dave, Sam, come and have a look at this! Pete's pissing into his golf club!Dave: Wow! Can I have it after you?Sam: How convenient! (Calls to foursome waiting) Ike! George! Martha! Jane! Come and have a look at Pete pissing in his golf club!Ike: I never thought I'd see you doing that, Pete. What will they say at church when I tell them?Jane: (Giggles)Martha: There doesn't seem to be much to see under that little towel.Dave: Well, I think it's a great idea.George: This club of yours seems to leak, Pete.Pete: You asshole! That's one of my normal clubs!George: Oh, so that's why I had trouble unscrewing the top.Dave: Sorry, Pete, I seem to have missed the hole in your piss-club. You can wipe it when we get back to the clubhouse.Scene 2: Outside the clubhouseThe club president and several committee members come out as the party approaches.Tony: Hey Reginald, have you seen Pete's special club? It has a thickened handle that unscrews.President: (Examines it. Shakes it and notes sloshing sound with a grin.) Well, Pete, as club president I'm not sure this is within the rules. But I have to agree it could be very useful on the green. So long as it is shared around. We all get a little thirsty from time to time. (Unscrews cap, takes generous swig. Passes around to other committee members, who do the same.) Hmm, that's a bit strong!George (running up): Hey Reginald, have you seen Pete's piss-club!Scene 3: In the car-parkThe mood is very gloomy.Tony: Thirty-two years I've been in this club. And they were going to consider me for the committee next year when old Walter retires.Sam: Let's just get the stuff in the back of the truck and go. We're going to have to find a new place to play golf, and start all over again.They sadly get in the car.George: Hey guys! Don't leave yet! Something's happened!Dave: Hey, have they let us back in the club?George: No, I wanted to tell you that piss-club top came off, and it has leaked everywhere in the back of your truck. That scarf of yours, Tony, is ruined.Tony: Pete, you asshole! (Throttles him.)

http://www.generationr.net/batman/A long, but (I thought) enjoyable read.

Some of these had me holding back my laughs so hard it gave me a headache.

Very good! (Both links)