Questions about sexual relationships.

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I'm seventeen and female and have had my first boyfriend for only a month. We have been good friends for a year now, and went through a lot before getting together. He had feelings for me for about six months, and through that our friendship grew. Although I have strong morals (i.e. refuse to date someone who smokes, drinks, or uses illegal substances that could harm yourself or those around you) I don't judge people for the things they do. My boyfriend tells me this is why he fell for me. His previous girlfriend and him went out over a year before she cheated on him and rubbed it in his face. He started to smoke shortly after and this is about the time he met me. His best friend and I were hooking up at the time and he through I was very pretty but wanted nothing to do with women at the time. After a few months, he stopped smoking and started to see me in a different light, although I was still with his friend. Eventually, his friend headed to college and things between us died down, he then gave my boyfriend permission to move in, since we had agreed to just be friends. After getting to know eachother very well (including him revealing to me that he had extreme cases of OCD and high anxiety) he tried to kill himself by overdosing on alcohol. This was merely a result of built up anxiety and improper medication by his old doctor, rather than alcoholism. This was also on Christmas eve. He was terrified to tell me (his parents told me he was terribly sick and hadn't let bed to keeps from suspecting anything) in fear that I would freak. However, I instead ended up telling him that I didn't view him any differently. I told him everyone has their issues, we're only human, but I didn't know what I would have done if he'd succeeded in killing himself. Now that the backgrounds over (sorry, it's long, but I think it helps tie things in) I can start in with my problems. We've been going out a month now, and our sexual relationship is strong. I worried from the begining, because he's not a virgin and I very much am, but things calmed down a little. He has never asked me to do anything I'm uncomfortable with, which is very releaving. He has touched every part of my body, and we've had dry sex, but other than that I've done nothing for him, which makes me feel very guilty, because he has very recently started to finger me (in fact, I'm pretty sure he broke part of my hymen, because when I went upstairs, my panties were covered in blood rather than cum and it hurts when I urinate - any help with this?) and I have never even seen a penis, let alone touched one. We both have agreed that oral is out of the question for either of us, I just don't like the thought of it, and he said he never enjoyed eating a girl out, but is it bad that I feel uncomfortable touching him? I spoke with him, and he told me he never wants me to do anything I'm uncomfortable with, and he could never even ask for what I already give him, let alone more, but I still want to be able to please him. He does so much for me, and I want to do the same for him. So here are my questions (besides the bleeding one):Are we moving to fast considering our past relations?Is it bad that I feel uncomfortable touching him, but having him touch me is fine?Should I be doing more for him?Is there anything I can do besides touching him to help please him more?Any other comments are welcomed as well. Thank you so much for bearing with this long post and pestering amount of quesions. (as well as spelling! I'm typing from my iPod because my parents check out computer history)Maybalee

>>>"Are we moving to fast considering our past relations?"

As long as it feels right for both of you there is no to fast or to slow. Just keep it at a comfortable pace.

>>>"Is it bad that I feel uncomfortable touching him, but having him touch me is fine?"

Actually it's quite normal. A penis is a foreign and intimidating thing for you. As you grow more accustom to the male body that feeling will leave.

>>>"Should I be doing more for him?"

Do what's comfortable for you, what you don't have a problem with. I'm sure he would appreciate more but if your not comfortable with it, it shouldn't be an issue at this early point in your relationship.

>>>"Is there anything I can do besides touching him to help please him more?"

• Masturbate in front of him. That's always a crowd pleaser.
• Have him masturbate for you, while you watch him. Run your hands breasts, whatever over his body while he's doing it. Just a couple of suggestions. Be creative within the realm of what you find acceptable and comfortable with.

Thank you for your help and suggestions, I'll definately take them into consideration. Your help is greatly appreciated considering you took the time to read though all of that, and it's also promising to hear that it's not too fast if we both feel comfortable, because we do an we talk about our sexual relations a lot as well, to ensure that.

Don't take just my word for it. Give the post some time to garner what others have to say. Check back later or tomorrow.And by the way welcome to the board. I hope you have an enjoyable edifying time here.

I will be sure to take evwryonea suggestions into considertion. Thank you. I'm sure I'll enjoy my time here.

Good we can be a fun bunch of assholes on occasion.

I agree with Scotty on this one.And keep up your confidence........dont worry if you are pleasing him or not cos the thought itself may make you feel bad.......just do what you are comfortable with. You could even ask him what he likes and what he wants you to do to him get creative and make a game out of it.

Very nice post there. I read every word of it and here's a couple of my two cents for you.First, I commend you for posting on here. It's a great community and you will get a lot of answers, or at least answers from the people that care enough to actually read your post.I don't think you guys are moving too fast at all. In fact, as long as you two are first, respectful and second, comfortable with each other, that is really what matters. The so called "pace" is unique to every couple and whatever pace that may be is something that you two have to work out, which it sounds like you are working out.Of course you shouldn't feel bad that you feel uncomfortable. As you get to know him, his body, and his desire more and more, I am sure that you will soon be comfortable with him. If you've never seen a penis before, tell him that, and if he rebukes you, then he's not for you, but if you want to see it, just ask him about it. And no, you should not be doing more... or less for that matter... for him. A girl should never be rushed into doing something just because the guy pressures her. I don't think that is the case, but take things at your own pace. If he really respects you, he will go at whatever pace you want to go.And of course there are more things that you can do, as you become more experienced. The first thing that guys love is going down on them. Of course, its often more delightful after a shower of after he is clean. Licking and any contact with the mouth is almost just as good as sex itself. If you surprise him with something like that (of course when you are more comfortable) then he will really feel good and absolutely love it. Surprising a guy by going down on him (when you are ready) is probably one of the best feelings ever. Of course, if you don't know what you are doing, all you have to do is communicate with him by asking him things like "Does this feel good? Do you like this? etc" and be specific, like "Does it feel good when I put your cock in my mouth?" haha, and it will totally make him squirm!But of course, go at your own pace. As you continue your relationship with him, continue to post on here (or send me a PM if you so desire) but let us know what your problems / obstacles are and we'll definitely be here to help you! Good luck girl!

Thank you so much. Your response is both greatly appreciated and very helpful. I believe I am very lucky, for as you said, he needs to be respectful and willing to go as slow as I need, and he has been nothing but supportive. I will definately keep your suggestions in mind for the future. Thank you again. I'm sure I will post many more questions and answers in the future.

Originally Posted By: Maybalee...and I have never even seen a penis, let alone touched one. I'm 16, and had my very first experiences just a year ago. The first time my GF saw and touched my penis was a first time foer her too. (And me seeing and touching her was my first time also.) She tole me that seeing me erect and feeling how warm and stiff I was made her feel very sexy in that she knew that she was able to sexually arouse a boy. But one of the first things she wanted me to do was "give her a tour", or an "orientation" to my boy-parts. so I both showed her and had her touch the different parts of my penis and testicles so she could get a better idea what felt good, what hurt, and how the whole thing was assembled. She told me she was curious what happened when a guy came, so offered to jack off and let her watch. She said okay. It seemed really awkward that first time, but it was extremely exciging for me too.If you ask him to see it, he'll be really excited. Then ask him to give you a tour of all the verious parts. Then watch him jack himself off (ant watch his FACE" a lot while he is doing it!)

Thank you. I will definitely ask him for a "tour" when I feel comfortable to do so. I think that it means more to me to know I'm doing all I can to make him feel the best he can. I also think that will make me feel more comfortable with him as well. Thank you.