Well Im back

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it seems every 2 years or so i come back on here and see the same names. Thanks to everyone who has helped.So to get everyone caught up. I still live in Canada. I'm going to University for Music Education next year. I am 18 years old and have had the same girlfriend for over 2 years.Now here is why I am posting this is a mix of relationship and sex help.I understand that as a relationship goes on the sex life will slow down. After 3 months of dating we commited the act and we did it none stop for a couple months. She had a bad reaction to the pill she was on. Sex life slowed down to about once every 3-4 months. I also undertsand not everyone is as sexual as me, I am an everyday twice a day kinda guy, so I dont blame her or anything. She got of that brand hasnt gone back on any brand. Still no sex drive at all. She is a very strong student in full IB, very stressful high school program, and we all know stress = no sex. She also is a very self concious girl and I learned how to help sort of. For some reason the insecurity has kicked into full gear and it is making my life miserable. I love her to death but you know... here is a list-no sex, almost ever, once in a blue moon-complains about everything ruining my day-says every girl is prettier then her-says she is fat, ok she is 5'5 and 130 pounds-she doesnt seem happy with me anymoreI try and talk and she thinks im insane for thinking that. To be honest I am miserable in this relationship right now and i feel like saying 2 things to her "fine if they are so much prettier I'll date them" and "She is damn lucky to have me because some guys would have cheated by now"We have talked about many things that i look back and see that maybe we shouldnt have at that age i.e. marriage. I honestly would marry her if she just would become less insecure. It hurts me, I try so hard to make her feel gorgeous(which she is) and what do i get. "god Im so fat"I cnat help but want to tell her "deal with your demons and then we can date again" but thats way to harsh. I guess I am not asking for any answers just what you guys think, I needed to vent somewhere. Oh ya ill try and post more often.

She's just being a girl, haha.But what does she doe to relieve her stress? I am a very involved student myself, but I have things that I do to relax and let the stress release every once and a while. Just wondering. Thanks!

She does absolutly nothing for it, and even worse she is going into med school in a few years. She needs to figure out a stress relief.

that's crazy though, that you guys used to do it all the time during that 3 month period.Have you ever just asked her?Maybe you should take her out to dinner and have a heart to heart and ask her about what's going on in her life and why she is so stressed out and if there is anything you can do to help her and be there for her during such a stressful time.If dinner goes well, have candles / rose petals ready back at your apartment and seduce her in bed If she doesnt get the hint, then do something like give her a back massage or a back rub. Start out by being sensual and reach to her emotional needs, then she will and should reach to your physical needs. If you guys have been in a two year relationship, then you should know each others quirks by now and what turns each other on, etc. If you need more help / advice, post some more specifics on what you are trying to do...

Tell her to use sex as a stress relief and should be done atleast once a week.Perhaps bring her to a nice spa? massage and what not would be very relaxing.

I have tried to have a heart to heart with her, and she just kinda gives me a guilt trip. "you know I'm stressed Zach, why do u have to bring or relationship issues up when I am stressed" Here is the problem. SHE IS ALWAYS STRESSED

I have considered the whole spa thing, and I have asked her about it. She doesnt liek the idea of being in a towel around strangers, she doesnt like wearing her bathing suit anymore.

Sex isnt a stress relief for her. She usually is very tired after we are done and goes to sleep. Sleep takes time which is less time for her to procrastinate on her school work. Plus we are both 18 but still in high school, so we dont have unlimited privacy.

Next thing. Has anyone heard of a condition thats causes someone to need excess amounts of sleep. She did have mono for about 6 months, this was about 4 years ago, and after she has always been tired. It takes most people what 5-10 minutes to fall asleep. On multiple occasions she has fallen asleep mid sentence.

Here is the tie in. She is uncomfortable having sex anywhere but a bed. While i go grab stuff she lays down. making her tired, killing her very rare sex drive.

Yes we have been dating for 2 years, yes i should know the spots that turn her on, but her is the thing. SHE DOESNT HAVE ANY. not that i cant find them, cuz i have kissed and touched every inch of her body. she says she doesnt have any.

And finally now I am getting confidence issues with our sex life. We had an empty house for 4 hours. we had sex once, not one go with multiple times. ONCE. i gave her about 20 minute foreplay which she likes, and so do i. I didnt last very long lats night becasue we havnt done it in a while. She looked very unsatisfied, and i asked if she wnated to go again. Frustrated she turned over and said "dont bother" and continued to fall asleep.

I love her to death, I honestly could see myself spending my life with her. But i can see 2 futures, one where our sex liufe picks up and we are happy and adventourous and all that. Or miserable, frustrated, and hateful. I dont want leave her or anything, but it looks to me like this might be dead.

I don't know anything about the sleeping problem so we'll leave that to the experts.However, here's my two cents on the rest...~What Ej4 said, to ''tell her to use sex as a relief''; even though you already said it's not a relief to her, I emphasize: do not tell her to use it as one. It sounds selfish and can come out in a I-just-want-to-get-some way.~You seem to really care for this girl. At the moment, what with all the work, insecurities and stress she has going on, you should focus on being there for her primarily emotionally rather than physically.Good luck and don't give up!

It's good to see you back, BassMan. Your gf seems very depressed to me - I think she needs a professional. That degree of constant sleepiness isn't normal, and I wonder if she has Chronic Fatigue Syndrome - this often starts with an infection like mono, and stressed or depressed people seem especially likely to get it. (One theory is that it occurs when the immune system remains in illness mode after the illness is dealt with.)

I have been trying and trying to help her in every aspect of her life. but she has this great habit of stressing over something that isnt due for another week, and waits till the day before to start. and that whole week she stresses. And ti snot liek she is doing naything important she goes home and creeps facebook and plays the sims all day. If i even once say you know maybe you should do some work. I dont even geta warning shot she just explodes and freaks out at me. So i have given up on trying to help witht he whole school thing, now i am here as a shoulder to cry on when she hits toxic density and someone to complain too. She doesnt take to me about anyting private anymore, she doesnt ask for help from me, she doesnt use any of our time together as enjoyment. I am miserable now because i just dont think she needs me or wants me anymore. I just think she hasnt ended it by this point because she "doesnt need more stress"

She explodes at you because she feels guilty and angry with herself. She knows she should be working but she can't persuade herself to face it. Probably being there as a (non-judgmental) shoulder to cry on is the best you can do.

I talked to her about the CFS and at first she was like "no, no way i have that" then I read the symptoms and that mono might lead to it she is considering a doctor's intervention. You think GP or a specialist? Also I kinda mention the depression thing and she kept avoiding it so I'll mention it here and there. I want to help, but forcing never helped anything. So we shall see how the whole depression topic goes. Also at the moment she isnt on any birth control, but we have used condoms the few times we do it. She is considering something called the Nuva ring (am i right with the name??) How does it work?Also great news. because she is in IB she has to do X amount of hours doing certain things and activity is one of them. So i have convinced her starting monday we will work out together for 1.5 hours, 3 times a week. I hear excercise reduces depression, increases sex drive, and the losing weight might help her confidence. so YAY.I just want to see her happy

Exercise would be excellent. Make sure she isn't pushed so hard (or doesn't push herself so hard) that she doesn't want to come back.The NuvaRing is a ring that is placed in the vagina for three weeks, giving a low but steady dose of oral contraceptives. It's like the contraceptive pill, but there is no need to remember to take it every day, and because the dose is administered so steadily it can be lower, so incidence of side-effects is lower.

So we worked out together the first time. we both have target weights for a taret date. we both wanna be lookin good for Graduation. Also we both decided fast food only once a month. Soda max once a day and only diet EVER.(please dont give me brain cancer B.S., please and thanks) but i digress IT WAS A HUGE SUCCESS. She seemed way less stressed, so happy and bubbley. The girl I love has returned and I couldnt be happier. Hell as a bonus she even hinted that it was too bad she had a math thing or else we might have had some fun. Also good news in about 3 weeks all extra IB related school should be done and stress level should be dropping.This is great I'll keep you guys updated