I am scared of my future right now. I'm thinking about suicide often. I never pay attention to anything. I'm not good at "making conversation." I feel out of the place 24/7. I keep searching through my past and searching through my possibilities for some sort of answer. I try not to blame my past. I try to look at my life without my past. I know I have a problem right now. Nothing feels right. I'm losing interest in hobbies I used to enjoy. It is very hard to drag myself out of bed in the morning. I can't help but point out how different I am from everyone else. Everyone seems so happy all the time. Everyone seems to make friends really easy. Everyone seems a lot more productive than me. I can't help but thinking that something is missing. What am I missing? I really don't know what to do. I'm just going to try and see a psychiatrist if I don't procrastinate and I actually call him.
I'm thinking about suicide.
It's not easy feeling different, especially for a teen. Teen years seem to be all about being like everyone else. It's only later that you develop an identity and you appreciate being unique.
That said, many famous people in history who have contributed much to the advancement of civilization didn't fit in to society. Yet their worth was tremendous. Get a biography of Einstein, Edison, or Albert Schweitzer to name a few, and read them.
Are you still taking your medication? Seeking professional help would probably be a wise move. You would probably benefit from counseling to help you to discover your worth to humanity. Don't delay. You're too important!
I am a chronic deppressent. I'm depressed at certain parts of my life, whether or not I want to be. I've contemplated and attempted suicide multiple times the best advice i can give you is give yourself a goal. All you need is one. Make one goal and make strides towards it. If you do this and reach it you will feel better about yourself. You will also keep busy which takes your mind off how badly you feel.
Other advice, switch up your life. If you arent working, see if you can get a job. If you are working see if you can get a different one. As to if you are in school, then pick a new hobby, go to the gym, pickup a new sport.
Stick with it!