I recently found the girl I spent the better part of my youth obsessed with on facebook. I contacted her and we've been talking constantly catching up and whatnot. The problem is I'm falling right back into being obsessed with her, and I'm married for those that don't know. I feel like talking to her is wrong, so I won't even add her as a "friend."It's complicated... I don't flirt with her, I have no intention to pursue her or anything. I'm not even really sexually attracted to her... she still has a killer body though. We mainly talk about people we went to middle school with and when we walked home from school together and that kind of shit. It's innocent enough but I can't get her out off my mind, just like I did between the 6th grade and the 9th grade. Only now instead sexual fantasies they're just talking and spending time with fantasies. I'm obsessed with her. I go to bed at night imagining the conversations we're going to have, I'm playing the music she likes in my car. She's a major U2 fan and I find myself listening to U2 because she likes 'em... I mean I like 'em to but that's not why I'm listening to them. She asked me to post a picture of my wife and dogs which I promptly did. I wouldn't have done that for anybody else in the world. I just find myself thinking about her all the time... like a little preteen boy with a mega-crush all over again... it's disconcerting.I don't think I'm going to add her as a friend, I don't know how I'm going to explain that away but I feel like this conversation with her needs to run it's course and die. If she's a "friend" and stays around I'm afraid I'll just stay obsessed with her. Actually I'm afraid I'm going to stay obsessed with her whether she's a friend or not.Most men fantasize about fucking their old crushes I'm fantasizing about conversation and going horse back riding... that's sick. I mean, hell yeah, I would hit it but... fuck it I don't know.I don't know what my question is but I just feel like shit and wish I had never contacted her.
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Bit of a problem
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Perhaps it has to run its course and then die. But perhaps it's a bit of OCD?
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I hadn't thought about that Pete. I think it may be a manifestation of my OCD. Anytime something new and exciting comes into my life I obsess about it. Usually it's a car, a house design, a building design, a book or whatever. I never thought about the possibility of it being a person that I could obsess over.
I feel much better Pete, thanks. Maybe I will add her as a friend after all.
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I really think the feelings will die off. A couple months ago I found my first boyfriend on myspace. We talked for a couple weeks through myspace and some of the old feelings and how excited I got to be around him came back. After a couple weeks the whole sensation wore off. I think it's just the body reacting to someone you once had strong emotions for.
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I think part of it too, might be the fact that you once had feelings for her and part of those are still in your heart, even if you lodged them away (for whatever reason). Humans are creatures of emotion. This "giddyness" you are feeling is reflective of something you are missing with your current wife.If you cut it off with this middle school friend, and do something to miss your wife, the feelings will come back.