Bisexual and relationships

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Ive been a normal (19yo) college student. Crazy busy (which is why Im hardly ever hear to leave comments). and recently Ive started to feel lonely and a little disconnected. Partly cause i dont have as much time to spend with friends as I used to and partly cause Im bisexual and no one knows. I want really want to be in a relationship but I torn cause I feel like if I choose a female it will be because its the easier way and not because I really like her. And also Im worried that Ill never get to have an intimate relationship with another guy.Anyway long story short I was wondering if you guys had any suggestions and if anyone wants to talk I would really appreciate it. Feel free to send me a message.

I dunno my ex gf was bi but she wouldn't date a chick because she felt it cheat, I honestly didn't care as long as it didn't get in the way of our relationship.

Dude I am in completely the same boat. Just know you aren't the only one going through it

[I'm feeling lazy today, so click here.][0]
[0]: http://www.afraidtoask.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Board=12&Number=129575&Searchpage=138&Main=11281&Words=OldFolks&topic=0&Search=true#Post129575

Why would you want your gf to be dating someone at the same time as they are dating you......?

Because it's hot.... not to mention the other "she" gets to shoulder half the relationship load. It's half the work plus all the great mental images and maybe even a chance at gettin' in the middle. :grin:

Originally Posted By: OldFolks

Because it's hot.... not to mention the other "she" gets to shoulder half the relationship load. It's half the work plus all the great mental images and maybe even a chance at gettin' in the middle. :grin:

I know I'm not just speaking for myself here, but the idea of my partner being with someone else is something I would hate. It could be the source of so many issues. You say it's a half of the relationship load? Why should there even be a relationship load?
What about jealousy issues? If you really cared for your partner, and they ended up spending more time with their other partner, would you really not get slightly suspicious and jealous?
Plus, personally the thought of someone else pleasuring my partner makes me physically sick. I couldn't do it. If I wanted mental images of her being with another woman, I'd just think about it. I wouldn't make it real, and THEN think about it! Not that I would anyway because I'd always prefer to imagine me with her :smile:

Plus from what I've heard, threesomes aren't all they're cracked up to be when it comes around to it.

Originally Posted By: sadbuttruePlus from what I've heard, threesomes aren't all they're cracked up to be when it comes around to it. ehhh it all depends lol. Not that I have HUGE knowledge in this area but I've done the whole threesome thing and my experience it was freakin hot and fun! lol... but again its not like I've had so many experiences like this that it really means anything LoL.But to the OP...You have to look after yourself and come to a point where your happiness is more important than what other people think. Once you can reach this point the happier you will be. I hide my sexuality for a long time from my friends and even my family, and once I allowed myself to be myself it was like a weight lifting off my shoulders. Your real friends will stick by you regardless of the situation.Again you just need to ask yourself... is your happiness more important or other peoples opinions? If you ever need to talk or rant feel free to throw me a message

That was written tongue in cheek from the stereo-typical males' point of view. Not entirely serious but not entirely kidding. My actual response to the OP was in the link in my first post.

Originally Posted By: OldFolksThat was written tongue in cheek from the stereo-typical males' point of view. Not entirely serious but not entirely kidding. My actual response to the OP was in the link in my first post. That's fine - just throwing in my two pennies anyway

This thread (including the post in the other thread that was linked) is like exactly like my life. I've realized to myself that I am definitely bi. A lot of people seem less understanding of that then just homo or hetero. I guess they don't understand it. I haven't told anyone. I currently have a g/f, who I've been dating for a while. There's a decent chance we could end up together. I've always been curious, and have wanted to experiment with other guys, I've even gone as far as posting / searching on my local craigslist, but never going through with anything (be careful on there). My main hangup is that I don't know those people. I have some friends who I could swear are like closet gay/bi, and if they ever came to me, I'd try it in a heartbeat.Gong back a few lines, I mentioned I have a g/f, but haven't told anyone, including her. I just feel like she would be hostile towards it, and I don't think she'd understand that I've had these thoughts looooong before we were dating. She would definitely go with the same mentality you have, sadbuttrue. It would probably make her sick thinking about it.It's really just a shitty position in life, anyone have any solutions by all means, share.

Originally Posted By: gooooooogleShe would definitely go with the same mentality you have, sadbuttrue. It would probably make her sick thinking about it.There's a difference in what I said and what you're talking about. Actually saying you WANT a threesome, or want to experiment with someone else while you're with your partner would probably cause some issues...but just telling her that you're bi shouldn't. As long as you enforce to her that you are with her and that's how it is, and just that you have had attraction to guys as well in the past, shouldn't be so bad for her.Of course if you do decide that you DO want to experiment, you'd need to gauge how she reacts to you telling her you're bi. If it's a negative reaction, then maybe you may need to consider either dropping your desire to experiment (possibly unhealthy) or leaving her (healthier but more difficult).If it's positive, you need to decide for yourself whether it is literally just experimentation, or if there is a desire to actually follow a relationship with a guy.I guess what I'm trying to say is that you need to decide what you want first, before taking any action.Do you really want to experiment?Do you want a relationship with a guy?Is exploration more important to you than your current relationship?

Do it now the curiosity will only increase with time. Speaking from a position as someone who's lived in the same boat as you, I don't think a random hook-up will do anything for you. Yeah, you'll get off but it's going to be kind of an empty experience, I would think.All I can say is that the world isn't set up do deal with bisexual men. It's the shits but there's no point in sugar coating it. Gay men, for the most part, are going to see you as a "closet case" and want nothing to do with you and every straight man is going to think your trying to get with them and aren't going to want to be around you. It's been my experience that most people won't understand nor will they want to try and understand. People want black and white where they can categorize you without thought and none seem to give a shit how hard it is for you to deal with the whole bi thing. Long and short of it people suck so don't expect anything but the worst from them and you'll never be disappointed but you may be pleasantly surprised.If you want a more personal account of how shit has gone for me, or just want to talk, feel free to PM me.

Originally Posted By: sadbuttruebut just telling her that you're bi shouldn't. As long as you enforce to her that you are with her and that's how it is, and just that you have had attraction to guys as well in the past, shouldn't be so bad for her.At least for a man it does change how someone will look at you forever. I'm not saying that's all bad but it won't be the same. Whatever her reaction "should be" doesn't matter. People are ruled by emotion and she is going to see it as a rejection of her. I don't think there's anyway around that. That doesn't mean it's the end of a relationship or that things won't be better after but things won't be the same and just don't expect immediate acceptance.