Hey guys n gals
20 minutes ago I was really happy and in line for a great night with a girl that I like. I am now sitting here writing this message instead.
What went wrong i hear u ask? Well... We went out eating and drinking with friends this evening, all going well... banter, flirting, we are close, have been for ages, we live togeather (we have quite a unique relationship, just trust me in this case that we live togeather and wanna do things to each other and it works)...
Anyway me and this girl got to our flat, she was feeling a little down, concerned that a family member of an ex didn't like her, that particular relationship was over a year ago but still cares for her ex's family and are good friends with them.
I comforted her, made her feel her usual self and we started having a laugh. She decided to put on some music and asked weather I wanted to share a bottle of wine with her. She seemed to want to have a bit of fun tonight.
Then for whatever reason as the going was about to get heavy i was sick. I got to the toilet to do it, but clearly this act killed the mood.
This isn't the first time its happened. Whenever things start progressing into a more intimate situation i usually feel sick and either get out of the situation or throw up. It is stopping me from getting intimate with girls. It is like a barrier.
I don't know if im afraid of what may happen next or what, in the previous cases I usually sense and want something to happen but my body just says 'no' and i end up pegging it or being sick.
Its getting me down. I just want to be happy and enjoy myself but my body is fighting me and i dont know why or what to do about it! Undoutedly in my subconsious if i end up in a similar situation its going to increase the chance of it happening again. It sucks.
Rant over. It helps me to write down whats on my mind, if anyone has any ideas on how i can pull myself togeather because im missing out here and i just want to be normal, i am in every other aspect of my life, why not this bit?!
Throwing up messing up my chances of happiness :(
Hey guys n gals
It's an anxiety reaction. I think there are at least two things you can do about it.
One is not to believe that throwing up kills the mood. It's just a small break in the mood - you can come back and keep going. After a few times I think you'll discover it doesn't happen any more.
Another thing you can do is get a prescription for anti-anxiety medication that you can use to help get over the most difficult parts. If you use it lightly and sparingly you may find it a great help.