I have talked some about this on other posts as a side note. But here I am needing advice. I've dated a lot of girls -- had sex with a few of them. I've been in love. I've been heartbroken. I've broken a few hearts. I've had a good teenage life. I'm 18 and in college. And I've talked to a few guys before. I have flirted on the phone or online (always with guys I knew, nothing creepy). So I think deep down I've always had an attraction to guys. But when it came down to going on a date them, I never felt enough to follow through. I always backed out and chucked it up to curiosity. I've had the same best friend since 6th grade. And he has a step brother that's his age. They are both 17. A couple of years ago, his brother cane out. And last year, he started dating a kid that I knew from debate. Well they broke up this summer. About a month and a half ago, I started talking via texting and phone calls to this guy -- my best friends brothers ex, Gray. We have gone on a few dates. And this weekend we had a debate tournament that my college and his high school went to. He and his best friend had their own room. His friends girlfriend spent the night both nights and so did I. Sunday night, he asked me to be his boyfriend. I said yes. I don't regret it. I didn't have any qualms. But I am scared. I'm scared of what my friends will think. And I really don't want to hurt his ex because we are friends. How do I tell people? How do I just have a boyfriend? I like him. I'm happy. Shouldn't that be all that matters?Also, yes we are debaters. But we are attractive. We aren't nerdy. Just saying. Secondly, he's 18 too. I'm not breaking any laws. Thirdly, my parents don't support homosexuality or bisexuality, do I tell them? I don't want to get disowned.
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First Boyfriend
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I've always thought about what I'll do if I ever get boyfriend, and I've come to this conclusion that after I've dated him for at least a month then I'll let him show me off if he wants and hold hands in public and so on. If people don't get the clue and ask then tell them the truth (sometimes they ask, for lack of a better word, closure). I haven't had to come out yet and I'm not looking forward to it when I do, to say the least.
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Congratulations!I don't know the answers - it depends on the people, the social atmosphere, and what your parents are like deep down. I would urge caution, that's all I can suggest.
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It may be overly pragmatic but if you think your parents would abandon you and leave you without an education, then get your education first. Finish school before you let it get back to them.
As far as friends and whatnot, the sad fact is friends come and friends go if they can't be happy for you then what kind of friends are they.
I never did understand the whole jealousy thing about what an ex is doing, so I can't really speak to that but I will say I don't think making a formal statement is really necessary. I don't know, sorry I can't help you more.
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It does help, OldFolks.I am not ashamed, nor am I really that worried.My thoughts are that friends should be friends no matter what. My two best friends know. And that's really all I care about. I guess I am just asking how to tell people. I don't think it's really necessary to walk up and go "hey, I'm dating a guy now."So I think I've just decided that if I'm asked, I'll be honest.My parents are both very southern. My mom is super religious. And my dad is one of those redneck men who takes pride in a manly son that passes on the family name. I do think my mom would accept it eventually. My dad is a different story. But I feel like I should hold off until I'm no longer financially dependent on my mother. I may never tell my dad. It would kill him.And who knows, this could be the only guy I ever date.I may hold off until it gets more serious.
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I don't think you will get any better answers to your questions than those you came up with yourself. Take care of yourself first and that means getting your education right now. Follow your gut instinct and keep your head about you and you'll be fine.
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So I think I've just decided that if I'm asked, I'll be honest.
I'm 29 and gay and that's how I have lived my life. I never felt it was necessary to tell anyone my sexuality, not because I'm ashamed but because to me sexuality is such a minor part of who a person is.
I second the part about perhaps keeping it private until your schooling is finished and you can financial take care of yourself. There's no reward for telling your parents, sadly it's usually the opposite for most. As long we you are true to yourself, that's all that matters.
Good luck :smile:
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Thank you guys.I feel like I just needed to talk it out.Just now I got an honesty box message on facebook "I know your secret. Are you gonna come out gay boy, or should I do it for you?"And I just laughed.Sexuality doesn't define you.And these people think they are so powerful, but really all they had to do was ask and I'd be honest.Sigh.
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Originally Posted By: Felix 12I may never tell my dad. It would kill him. Do you like your dad, it just may be worth it to him. Lol