Hi there, this is my first postIm 18 years old and i have had really bad luck with sex in the past. when i was younger i used to get opportunities to have sex but something would always mess it up for me and id never quite get there with the girl. more recently, this year, i had sex for the second time in my life since i was 16. since then i have been through and overcome a serious drug dependency which left me with a few mental health problems, and exacerbated my existin anxiety disorder. life is better but i am terrified of sex. when i last had sex i was drunk and i did not have feelings for the girl- as nice as she was i just didnt feel attracted but i thought guys could just do it whenever especially because the first girl i slept with [which was only on one occasion] was less attractive to me- i hope i do not sound like a shallow person, just trying to give an idea of what happenedBasically when i slept with the last girl it kept going from hard to soft no matter how much foreplay was had, i didnt even know it was in until i heard her make a bit of noise- because there was no sensation of anything i lost the erection really fast. this made me feel very humiliated and ashamed. i also find it impossible to get condoms on, i know it is possible for any guy but i am quite well endowed- not something to brag about in my current position thoughim so scared of having sex because my anxiety disorder means that thoughts never cease in my mind- even while kissing and foreplaying with a girl i am thinking constantly which can kill my erection. theres a new girl in my life now and if i fail with her it will make things even worse- ive tried drugs, sobreity, meditation, nothing works; i dont want to try viagra because im only 18 and dont want to rely on that. i cant afford counselling or therapy and seeing a doc where i live is very difficult. sorry for the long post. thank you.
Welcome to A2A, Watchmenfan100.May I first congratulate you on overcoming a serious drug dependency despite the anxiety disorder. That is a real achievement.Worries about losing erection hit very very many men, and of course the anxiety disorder makes it worse. In fact, since you were drunk and weren't attracted to the girl, not feeling much and having difficulty staying hard on that occasion was quite natural.The most important thing is not to feel that losing an erection means failure. Your new girl will not consider that the chief aim of your relationship is penetration - neither should you. Don't try for it. Take things in slow gradual stages and enjoy the relationship, and gradually your confidence will return.
If your drunk and not attracted to them in the first place not staying hard is understandable. Long and short I would just repeat what Pete already said.
There is no punishment. There is no reward. There are only consequences.