I guess a little bit of background of me would help. I've always considered myself straight in that I am physically attracted to females and always have been, I dont really have any physical attraction to males but I've never felt like I was 100% straight. Never been in a relationship because I'm extremely shy/introverted but I dont think thats entirely relevant.
Anyway despite feeling straight all my life, I never really ruled out the possibility of a relationship with a guy (hmm that feels weird for me to type... first time its ever left my head). I think I mostly care about things on an intellectual/emotional level. I am an academic (hold an advanced degree) and I really enjoy discussing deep topics, I could imagine myself doing that often in a relationship with anyone, I believe it is far more important to me than an overall physical attraction. As time goes on I find myself inhibiting my thougts less but I would still be hesitant to say I am completely straight or bisexual at all. It probably adds a lot to my confusion that i spend a lot of time on an irc room where gay/bis outnumber straight people >< I feel like I could connect deeply with some of the guys there just off the way they act/speak in general (talked almost daily for multiple years).
So then I read about this a few days ago
And it makes sense to me, I kind of wish I saw it long ago.
I assume people know what the Kinsey scale is. Ive thought for a while I would rate myself in around 1.0 but didnt feel it accurate to attach a bi tag to myself. So I guess my real question is... does this seem like pansexuality to others? I realise the only thing that really matters is how I view it myself. A lack of physical attraction towards males while having a strong one towards females makes me think bi is going a bit too far >>
IDK I think the way I view things points to pans more so than straight/bi, being closer to the straight side of the two... a little re-assurance from anyone would probably make me feel a bit better about this all.
Welcome to A2A, makitana.
It seems that the brain thinks a lot more thoughts than we are usually aware - that there is a large amount of subconscious selection from and suppression of a very diverse range of thoughts. I wonder if the same is true of sexuality - that perhaps the process starts as pansexual and then selection and suppression takes place, not always (probably not usually) completely.