Alright, let's get down to business, shall we? I'll be straight-forward with you guys, I'm a lesbian. I've found the love of my life in the form of an amazing girl who is all I could ask for and more. Now, time for questions.
1) I've never, ever fingered myself. Ever. I don't know if a lot of girls do and I'm just odd or what, but I haven't. One time when me and her were together, she undid my pants and fingered me. I was really turned on, so she slid in easy. But....there was this little bit of discomfort. Not pain, just...discomfort. She picked up on it, of course. I don't want this discomfort to disrupt us next time considering we hardly see each other and any time together is more precious than normal. Is there a way to make it go away? I figured it's cause I'm a virgin. Would fingering myself help? If so (call me stupid, go ahead), how do I do that? Yeah, I'm an 18 year old girl who doesn't know how to do that. I wasn't sex-centered in high school. I don't want to do it wrong and potentially hurt myself, or even her if I do it to her.
2) Most every girl is born with a hymen, except for those rare cases. Sometimes, the hymen breaks due to athletic sports and whatnot. Well, I don't do sports, so I'm pretty sure I have a hymen. I've heard it hurts when it tears. Does it? I'm not a fan of pain.
3) When I shave my bikini area and whatnot, sometimes I bleed. Just little pin-pricks of blood. For example, when I shave back my pubic hair, little drops of blood spring up. Sometimes it actually hurts the skin there. Is this just cause the razor isn't good on my skin? The blade isn't dull, it's new. Is there something I can do to stop this? Oh, and, is it such a big deal to the world to shave all the hair away down there? Seriously. I mean, I don't. I think it's part of being a female. But I've noticed many women who shave it all away. My girlfriend is one of those such women. Would I be better off shaving it all away?
4) One last question. It's more along my personal worries, but advice and kind comments are welcome. Before my girlfriend and I met, and before she came out as lesbian, she had sex with a guy. A few times, from my understanding. Now, though, she's lesbian and only cares for girls. She's been my girlfriend for a while, and we love each other. We're planning on starting a life together in a few years. Eventually, as most all couples do, we're going to end up having sex (no, we haven't yet). But....I'm nervous. Why? Cause I'm a virgin who has no idea what they're doing and she's not a virgin and has been with a guy. The fact that she most likely knows what she wants and whatnot intimidates me. I mean....she's never been with a girl in that manner, but still...it concerns me. Is there any way I can get over this?
I'm pretty sure that's all my questions. At least for now, that is. I'm sure some of you are probably laughing. But, hey, I'm a curious soul.
So, answers, please?
Have: Questions. Need: Answers.
Welcome to A2A, QuietLadyLover!
I'm a guy and have no experience with your first question, so I'll leave that to the women.
I have no experience of the second, either, but my understanding is that now most girls' hymens are broken through using tampons, and if you use tampons it is very unlikely that you still have an intact hymen.
Whether you shave all your pubic hair or not is entirely up to you, in my opinion. The drops of blood are a worry - perhaps you get goosebumpy when you shave?
About the last question - remember sex is not something you are graded on. It is an adventure between the two of you.
Thanks for the welcome!
As for my second question, I don't use tampons. The idea of putting something up there has sort of always weirded me out. Not to mention the whole Toxic Shock Syndrome it can cause if left in too long (I know chances for that are slim, but still).
I don't get goosebumps, not that I know of. I think the razor just might not agree with my skin. It hurts the skin on my lower right leg, leaves little red bumps. Nothing I do seems to stop it.
And, I know it's not something I'm graded on, but it's still intimidating, you know?
I'm sorry, I've not many answers for you QLL, I'm one of they guys here too, but I can help in regards to razors and shaving. Is it something new for you to shave, or with this razor? When I started, it was more or less the same thing, it caused razor burn occasionally. Something that might help is to use soap or shaving cream/gel that has a moisturizer in it. Gillette is a really good brand, their gels are really good, but I imagine any kind would do well. :smile:
But, after time, I didn't need it any more, as I'd gotten used to it. It also takes a little experimenting to find the perfect razor for that area. I used a different type for my face than I did there for a while, until I found the perfect type. Mine are 3 blade disposables, so, not like the $15 replace-the-blade kinds, the spend-$15-at-Walgreen's-for-4-store-brand kind. Maybe you have yet to find your match to your skin. :smile: Even for my face it took a while to find one that didn't cause massive razor burn and redness.
And in regards to never having had sex: of course it's gonna be intimidating! :laughing: But like Ineligible said, it's going to be an adventure. That's part of what makes it so exciting and fun. You'll get over it in time, but it's not a bad thing to be nervous. Just think of all the other people who handle their first time every day. Well, maybe not think about it. But embrace the principle! :laughing:
<b>Nothing's perfect... The world's not perfect. But it's there for us, trying the best it can. That's what makes it so damn beautiful.</b> <br /><...
Well first off, i'd like to say that i think its really awesome that you found the love of your life. too little people can say they have, and its always wonderful to hear that someone has :smile:
now about ur questions...
about ur first question...i know i get discomfort sometimes if im being fingered or am fingering myself, but for me it's usually if its only one finger at a time. im not sure why this is. but have you tried doing (slowly and gently) maybe 2? it may be worth a try. fingering yourself could potentially help; i know i had some pain and discomfort the first time i was ever fingered (but then, the guy wasnt what you'd call gentle at the time, so maybe its a case study) but after a while it felt better. or maybe it's just not for you. some girls are like that. the trick is to find out what feels best for you and find the right fit, so to speak.
question 2: when my hymen tore, i think it hurt...like i said, the guy wasnt being gentle. if ur careful though, it doesnt have to be painful at all. u can kinda ease urself into it, i think.
q3: i know exactly what you mean. sometimes shaving cream does help, but then, sometimes it only helps a little and i bleed anyway. you could always try other hair removal techniques, such as nair. just be careful not to leave it on for too long, or that could be bad for your skin. on the topic of completely shaving, it's really a matter of personal choice and preference...you could always ask your gf her opinion, but i completely agree w/earlier posts, that it's up to you in the end. i guess what you need to ask is, what makes you feel the most comfortable?
q4: i also agree with ineligible. its an adventure. everyone gets butterflies or anxiety about their first time.
best of luck! (though you wont need it)