Can Sex be an Addiction?

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I'm not talking about people addicted to sex, but when people always say that once you have sex you won't want to live without it. This does not sound appealing to me...even though I would have less deal breakers in future relationships. Is sex like some drug? I don't want to be like some crackhead searching out dudes to bang because I have to have it or I'm so horny. I don't like this idea of some force, however natural it's supposed to be. controlling my desires for a relationship when I care about other things more.
Maybe my sex drive will remain low... I just can't win. Everything seems unappealing or negative. Maybe I'm overreacting. What do y'all think?

I think you are overreacting.. Sex feels good. It's hard to explain unless you've done it. You have all these negative thoughts in your head and it's holding you back. I'm sure you would feel the same once you've overcome your fear and negativity.

I imagine it's like the good sensation I get when I'm really turned on or being stimulated down there, no? Also fingering didn't really do it for me. I couldn't get an orgasm, I only did with clitoral stimulation. This was with the last guy I dated and when doing it myself. When he used more than one finger I didn't like the rubbing against the walls of my vagina and it always felt like he was poking something (my cervix). It was that same sort of sharp pain I got when I was trying to get a pap smear. Is that what sex feels like?? Playing outside the vagina feels way better.

It seems like you are "interested" in sex. WHy don't you purchase/order a generic rubber/silicone dildo that's not large but is a standard size and try it out? Granted it's not the same a a human, but at least it will perhaps get you to relax about this whole thing.

Ever have black raspberry chocolate chip ice cream? That stuff is amazing! I will eat it often, probably not as often as I like, and will enjoy it at least 90% of the time. And I can't imagine ever again living a life in which black raspberry chocolate chip ice cream isn't a part of it. But am I addicted to it? Hardly. I don't eat it every time I want it. Not that it's even available to me every time I want it. And there are times when it is available but I say "hmmm....not right now. not a good idea." But when it is a good idea...and it's available...YOWSAH!!!

So all that is to say, no you won't necessarily be addicted to sex. Even if you want to do it a lot, you can still have control over it.

I wish everyone had explained it like that. People make sex sound like crack.

It's won't be the same...like I want to have a longer orgasm, but I can't when I do it myself 'cause I have to stop because my clitoris gets too sensitive. When someone else does it, it last longer 'cause they don't stop. It would be a complete waste of money, and there's nothing else to grope...and it's not alive. Bore.It's not so much the sex, yeah I really hate feeling any kind of physical pain, but emotional trying to handle rejection and feeling used it nothing last after the encounter and doesn't turn into a relationship, that scares me. Also that I have to rely on something outside myself to keep me from getting pregnant, whereas without sex i don't have to rely on anything that much. Having a child I don't want scares me too.

Well the reason I said get a dildo is because, correct me if I'm wrong, I seem to remember you being afraid that it is going to be painful. A dildo might help you ease into that feeling and lessen that fear.

Yeah, true.... I think it will be though. Not much can go in there, seriously, it's really small. Even getting fingered was not pleasant, so I can only imagine what a penis or penis-like object would feel like. There were times where he had to stop completely because it hurt. It would have to be a very, very small dildo. I'd rather go out and buy a sandwich or ice cream.

If you are going to live in fear "of that moment" because you feel your vagina is too small, then what can it hurt to try using a dildo to help you understand your body more?

Well, it's not going to make me want to do it any faster. I already know it is, so I guess that is now pretty understood. I'm going to have sex eventually, a dildo isn't going to change anything. Maybe loosen things up down there so it hurts less? What is there to understand? I know it's going to hurt...so I don't even want to use a dildo. Everything else close to it has not felt good. I guess I just want wait to I actually have to do it (hopefully I'll genuinely want to have sex then). I don't know why I think these things.

It (penetration) doesn't seem to do anything for me anyway.

Well you are pretty set in your ways.. Guess that's it then. GL

I guess. I just don't want do it unless I have to. Do you think it would actually help? I don't like pain and if trying to get fingers while relaxed hurt.... I don't even want to think about stretching it and making more pain. Do you think it's not going to hurt or something? I don't understand. I guess it would make sex eventually not as hurtful. I'm creeped out a little by trying something I don't really have to do, since no one is asking me for sex. This is a legitimate concern, right?? Why wouldn't it hurt, should I not expect it? I don't understand. I don't think you're getting what I'm saying, trying to say.I'm sure there has to be something else better I can spend my money on.

I just have a hard time accepting that you are THAT tight. My thoughts are that if you wait to try getting a penis in your vagina during first time sex, it will be a horrible experience for you because you are so fearful about it. I can't believe that it would be painful to use a dildo when you are relaxed and by yourself. Using some lube and the dildo, you should be able to accept it it a relaxed non-stressful setting. It doesn't matter if someone is pressuring you for sex or not. Given that you are talking about it relatively often , it must bother you. I don't understand your reluctance to alleviate your fears. You are not a young teen otherwise I would think differently.

Well...I've already experienced some pain. The guy could only get three fingers in before it hurt. I thought I was pretty relaxed. When I've done it myself, I wasn't trying to hard, I tried two finger and they kept getting pushed out. I never push myself, 'cause once something doesn't feel right I stop. It didn't even feel that good. I just liked being touched. There was like no sensation at all, just the pain and discomfort.

ONLY three fingers?!!!!???? And you are complaining about a penis?

So should I be worried or not? It still felt uncomfortable, not pleasurable at all and at times it really hurt. When I was talking to the guy he said he could barely get three fingers in, so maybe the three were too much and that was when I was feeling the most pain. I don't think you know how confused I am. Where are all the women on here. I need to know is sex supposed to feel like the guy is poking my cervix, 'cause that hurts. I felt this sharp pain similar to the pain I felt when I got my pap smear. It just didn't feel good at all. What is sex supposed to feel like? I don't get it. Fingering didn't do anything for me. I could feel the motion a little, but it didn't really turn me on. I've been doing research and I was on this blog and it said 3 fingers is supposed to be the average width/size for a penis.

Uhhh NO... If I put my 3 fingers together and look at the width.. shit there is no F'n way that is even close to the average width.. That's porn star width..So yes.. I think you are making a big deal out of this based on misinformation.. #1, the penis is rounded so there is more even stretching than shoving in multiple fingers.. #2 Yes an erect penis is "hard" but it is softer than someone gouging you with hard fingers.#3, Not all women can orgasm through penetration alone, but the feeling nonetheless is/should be pleasureable. I think it is very premature of you to discredit the sexual act as unpleasureable based on your limited experience. If it weren't good, people wouldn't be doing it.

I wish I could just fast forward through all of this. Maybe most people do like it, others suffer through it.... I wish sex didn't have all the baggage (for me). I wish I didn't have to worry about pregnancy, pain, STDs, heartbreak, feeling used up, etc... I guess I'm just thinking of excuses 'cause I really don't want to do, but sooner or letting I'm going to be left with a decision. I can't remain a virgin forever. There's goes my freedom plus a risk cloud hanging over my head.

I know it seems like I'm fighting this, but I really do want to be normal. I like some of the things everyone else does and considers to be "normal". It's just right now I can't seem to want it, I'm jumping over the hills to get it.