Well you are pretty set in your ways.. Guess that's it then. GL
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Can Sex be an Addiction?
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I guess. I just don't want do it unless I have to. Do you think it would actually help? I don't like pain and if trying to get fingers while relaxed hurt.... I don't even want to think about stretching it and making more pain. Do you think it's not going to hurt or something? I don't understand. I guess it would make sex eventually not as hurtful. I'm creeped out a little by trying something I don't really have to do, since no one is asking me for sex. This is a legitimate concern, right?? Why wouldn't it hurt, should I not expect it? I don't understand. I don't think you're getting what I'm saying, trying to say.I'm sure there has to be something else better I can spend my money on.
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I just have a hard time accepting that you are THAT tight. My thoughts are that if you wait to try getting a penis in your vagina during first time sex, it will be a horrible experience for you because you are so fearful about it. I can't believe that it would be painful to use a dildo when you are relaxed and by yourself. Using some lube and the dildo, you should be able to accept it it a relaxed non-stressful setting. It doesn't matter if someone is pressuring you for sex or not. Given that you are talking about it relatively often , it must bother you. I don't understand your reluctance to alleviate your fears. You are not a young teen otherwise I would think differently.
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Well...I've already experienced some pain. The guy could only get three fingers in before it hurt. I thought I was pretty relaxed. When I've done it myself, I wasn't trying to hard, I tried two finger and they kept getting pushed out. I never push myself, 'cause once something doesn't feel right I stop. It didn't even feel that good. I just liked being touched. There was like no sensation at all, just the pain and discomfort.
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ONLY three fingers?!!!!???? And you are complaining about a penis?
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So should I be worried or not? It still felt uncomfortable, not pleasurable at all and at times it really hurt. When I was talking to the guy he said he could barely get three fingers in, so maybe the three were too much and that was when I was feeling the most pain. I don't think you know how confused I am. Where are all the women on here. I need to know is sex supposed to feel like the guy is poking my cervix, 'cause that hurts. I felt this sharp pain similar to the pain I felt when I got my pap smear. It just didn't feel good at all. What is sex supposed to feel like? I don't get it. Fingering didn't do anything for me. I could feel the motion a little, but it didn't really turn me on. I've been doing research and I was on this blog and it said 3 fingers is supposed to be the average width/size for a penis.
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Uhhh NO... If I put my 3 fingers together and look at the width.. shit there is no F'n way that is even close to the average width.. That's porn star width..So yes.. I think you are making a big deal out of this based on misinformation.. #1, the penis is rounded so there is more even stretching than shoving in multiple fingers.. #2 Yes an erect penis is "hard" but it is softer than someone gouging you with hard fingers.#3, Not all women can orgasm through penetration alone, but the feeling nonetheless is/should be pleasureable. I think it is very premature of you to discredit the sexual act as unpleasureable based on your limited experience. If it weren't good, people wouldn't be doing it.
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I wish I could just fast forward through all of this. Maybe most people do like it, others suffer through it.... I wish sex didn't have all the baggage (for me). I wish I didn't have to worry about pregnancy, pain, STDs, heartbreak, feeling used up, etc... I guess I'm just thinking of excuses 'cause I really don't want to do, but sooner or letting I'm going to be left with a decision. I can't remain a virgin forever. There's goes my freedom plus a risk cloud hanging over my head.
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I know it seems like I'm fighting this, but I really do want to be normal. I like some of the things everyone else does and considers to be "normal". It's just right now I can't seem to want it, I'm jumping over the hills to get it.
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Hi Web,It sounds like a tough situation.Worrying about pregnancy is something almost every woman will have concerns about at some point but there really are so many options for birth control these days there is bound to be one for you.I know you've probably heard some horror stories about the pain of sex but usually as others have said, pain comes when you are unrelaxed and your body isn't prepared. Just remember if your vagina can dilate enough to get a baby out a penis shouldn't be much of a problem for it. BUT, don't get me wrong. The baby doesn't just slide out, it takes time to dilate and stretch. As does when you prepare for sex.When you get turned on, naturally the inside will lube itself up and the entrance will loosen and dilate. This is your bodies natural response, getting you ready for him. But when you're alone you can help yourself prepare. Like the other guy said, if you used a small dildo, lube and just take your time, physically there will be not a lot stopping you from gently opening up with the least amount of pain possible. Doing this a few times will massively reduce the amount of pain for the first time you have sex and will probably make it more enjoyable for you. Also some women do it in the bath with the dildo as this further relaxes them.I understand your concerns about using a dildo, but the best way I can advise you to look at it is, if you don't stretch it in your own time when there is no pressure and you can take things at your own pace. Then you'll be in a situation when you and your partner do want to have sex and if your entrance isn't used to being stretched then the chances are it will hurt. However this is only temporary and usually only lasts the first one or two times you have sex. After this the vagina hopefully is used to this and pain rapidly disapears.Also another option is doing a lot of foreplay before sex, a lot of lube and I'm not being funny but 3 fingers is a lot for someone who hasn't had sex before. I know some girls who 3 fingers hurt them and they lost their virginities many a year ago.STD's the best way to work with that is always make sure you're using condoms or femidoms and ask your partner to be honest about their sexual past.Heartbreak and feeling used are hard to avoid, but if you wait and take your time before you say you are ready then that should show you they're worth it if they wait around. The first time I did it we waited 6 months as it was both of our first times, definitely made it more special and we had so many other aspects to our relationship, it actually didn't distract us from the important parts.Finally back to your original thing, yes you can get addicted to sex, but if you have a strong and stable relationship before you start having sex you should be fine. Just take your time and when you do finally decide to do it talk to your partner. Explain your worries and say, if I or you feel we're getting too distracted from the other aspects of our relationship we need to talk to eachother to let the other know. Communication is the most important thing when it comes to sex.Take what you want, leave what you want. I'm not an expert, just giving my opinion. Hope it helps and just take everything at your own pace, if anyone tries to make you do something you don't want to they aren't worth it!Hawk
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Thank you for replying. Your advice was very helpful. I feel I'm just torn right now as to what to do and whether it's genuinely me or the guy talking through me.