This fall I started at university, and it's something I've been looking forward to for such a long time, but now that I'm here it's just been terrible. I'm absolutely miserable here, I cry so much, I don't have any friends, I barely know anyone, I have such a difficult time falling asleep, I have such a difficult time waking up, I've missed so many classes because I didn't get out of bed for them, I don't know what I'm doing in class, I'm so behind my other classmates I don't think I can catch up.
Today I was supposed to go on a trip with other people in my program, I was really looking forward to it, but I was running late getting to the bus and they pulled away without me. I don't know what to do now. I told my family all about the trip previously and they were really excited for me, but now what do I tell them? I know they're going to ask all about it.
I've spent all my money to go here, and I really wanted to do well, but I'm just doing horribly in every possible aspect.
I haven't really told anyone else about what I'm going through, I have a really hard time talking to people. I was hoping maybe you guys could offer some advice or something. Thank you.
I Feel Like Such a Failure
Welcome to A2A, Strictapteryx.
You're not at all alone in how you feel. First year at university is a very lonely time for a lot of people. Suddenly you're on your own, without the friends who used to support you, and without the pushing and prodding you used to get from parents and teachers.
Don't look back to what is past, but concentrate on where you go from here. First, universities usually have free counselling available. Use the service - the counsellors will be very familiar with your situation, as it is shared by so many. Try to get to know some people - getting to know new people is one of the most important things you can learn at university, even though no-one assesses you on it, and if you make some friends your spirits will rise a lot.
Many, many students don't do well in first year, but eventually find their feet and succeed both academically and socially. It's all part of the learning, and nothing to be ashamed of.
Great advice from the doc, just remember you have nothing to lose by talking to people. It might be worth finding out about any clubs/sports that you could pick up at uni. Learn new skills and make new friends? I was the same as you in school in the UK, but when I joined the rugby team I really embraced the team spirit and learnt a sport that I love and play to this day. The friends i made are still my friends now.
Talk to your tutors about missing their classes. Tell them the situation, maybe they can advise you how to keep up with the studies, you need to make the effort to catch up. By showing your tutors you are making an effort that should be enough to get them to help you.
With your family it's your choice, be honest with them and say you missed it as your struggling. Or lie and say its all going well. It's your choice but it might be good to let your family know that you are finding it hard so they can give some moral support.
Finally, your lack of sleep should be helped by reducing stress after talking to your tutor, councilors and looking into social clubs. If not put another thread up about advice for lack of sleep, I'm sure there will be suggestions. Getting up in the morning will be resolved by an alarm clock or something similar. You need to say to yourself, from here on in I'm going to work my arse off to do well. It's your future and you can make what you want out of it. You've taken the first step by recognising you are falling behind. Now is time to step up your game and "get back on the horse".
Tony the tiger goes Rawrrr...