it is mostly a myth for the most part! sex dreams and all are real! but for what it "seemed" like was happening, was happening, because clearly he was in a position, and while your asleep is just wrong, and saying you didnt feel well and were dizy and he was trying to initiate something after (your other posts) saying you told him you didnt want to do sexual acts anymore, he sounds like the kind of people that deserve to go to jail!
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Is sexsomnia real?
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while your sleeping is NOT OKAY! no matter how much it is in! Your boyfriend is LITERALLY a monster, and you really need to get out while you can! That is just disgusting and wrong of him in so many levels!
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It does seem to be a phenomenon that has been clinically observed, a variant of sleepwalking. That doesn't necessarily mean what happened in your case was an example of it. Does he have a history of sleepwalking?There's a brief article at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_sex, and a useful full article from the Canadian Journal of Psychiatry, written by the original researchers in the area, at http://ww1.cpa-apc.org:8080/Publications/Archives/CJP/2003/june/shapiro.asp. There are abstracts of reviews by other groups of researchers here and here and here.
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Whether or not anything happened will probably never be known.However, let me answer your concern first. Plan B is to prevent pregnancy. The chance of pregnancy while on your period is rather small. And, if you were both clothed, the chance of penetration is (for all practical purposes) zero.Now, I agree that for him to attempt penetration while you were sleeping and knowing your position that you were not ready for sex is pretty low. I'd be thinking long and hard about this relationship.
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hemlock- i know it sounds really bad, and could potentially BE really bad. i did change my mind before this weekend, though, about the sex, so long as things between us are still better and we use protection the whole time. now we're just doing a "once in a while" basis.
and i no while im sleeping isnt ok...reminds me way way too much of "a little piece of heaven", in the beginning...its just that he seemed really sincere about not being conscious and i know he wouldnt try to do that (if so, then i really don't know him at all) -
ineligible- i think he does, actually. i know that sometimes when he has a nightmare he ends up getting hurt somehow, physically. so him ending up having sex while asleep doesnt seem like much of a hurdle. and thanks for all the links, u r truly awesome
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readytogo- thanks, i guess i wont take plan b then.u no, i actually didnt think much about the whole clothing thing. it does make me wonder a bit. how would my pj pants end up open like that, and his too? it does seem a bit fishy. i dont want to think about the alternative, if i am to be honest. but i think i have to
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seems like excuses. and whether he was concious or not, u dont want to be with a guy that has that kind of sleeping problem! still a disgusting crime. and being sincere about not being concious isnt enough, becuase if thats true, thats something to be scared of because who knows what else hed "do" and not be concious!
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you say you keep telling him about safe sex and its not okay without protection, yet you constantly have to keep taking the plan b pill, or always have a fear that your going to need an abortion or you could be pregannt is something you really need to think to yourself about. Its okay to be sexually active, but if you constantly keep telling him ONLY WITH CONDOMS, yet you keep having to take these other measures because he doesnt listen or to keep thinking your pregnant, clearly means this guy is not for you or does not take your sexual wants (protection) into account!
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Where I come from, we call that rape.
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actually, he now understands that condoms are a must, and automatically assumes i wont have sex any other way. its cut down on my stress a lot. his too, really, since he no longer has to deal with the guilt and monetary cost.
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should have understood before! and with all the stress, and scares youve been having because of him: my advice if your going to stay with him, stop having sex for a while, maybe a couple months (6-12), if he loves you and its more then sex, he will say nothing but "OKAY" without trying to bargain or anything else
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good idea, hemlock. thanks
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if he says no, you can always threaten to call the police, after all it is a felony in all states!
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From what you described, he's trying to take advantage of you while you're asleep, & ready to deny it. If you're not sexually active during waking hours & don't want to become involved with him in that way, sleeping beside him is dangerous & you ought not to continue doing it. One of these times, you'll be sufficiently unconscious for him to have his way with you & you might never realize it. Think about if you want that scenario to even be a possibility
