Howdy y'all! Long time no see.
Figure I'll give all of y'all an update, get you up to speed with my most recent problem.
I dated a girl for about three years, most of it was long distance, but we managed for that long somehow. Whenever I would come back to visit, before having sex or fooling around at all, I would always feel very, very nauseous. I even threw up during a blowjob once. :x This happened EVERY time, without fail. Things would get heated, I would start feeling sick, deep breaths, try to get around it. And most of the time I'd manage to put it behind me after we start having sex.
After we broke up I began to talk to other girls, and all that. Got into some stuff with another girl from back where I used to live, and upon visiting some friends things got heated with us, but I told her I didn't want to go all the way because I didn't feel too good. And I really didn't feel like vomiting.
Well much much more recent, as in early today recent. There's this gorgeous girl in one of my college classes, we've talked, exchanged numbers, etc. Well we hung out today in a form of studying, I quizzed her on a bunch of stuff for a test we have soon, and all went well. We sat together for four hours just studying, laughing, having a good time.
Well afterword, we broke off and both went home, continuing to text each other. Eventually I decided I wanted to go somewhere, and asked her if she wanted to tag along. Immediately after she said yes, I felt extremely sick. Like almost crippling to the point where I needed to vomit. I didn't, but I was very, very close. So I explained to her I didn't feel too great, and we ended up not hanging out. But we have plans tomorrow, she's coming over, we're studying some more and then hanging out afterwards at my place, it was her idea.
I still feel sick when I think about it. What is this? Why do I get so crippled whenever I start to get into things with a girl? I really don't want this to ruin my chances with every girl I come across. Back in my High School days I was fine, I've had sex with multiple girls, with no problems what-so-ever. Seems like it started to happen as soon as I entered college 4 years ago.
Also, it's very rare for me to be able to go out to eat with people other than my family, for I get the same exact feelings right before I start eating. Coincidence?
TL;DR version: I feel extremely sick before, or as soon as I get into things with girls, to the point where I vomit sometimes. Halp?
Feeling Sick Before Sexual Stuff?
Howdy y'all! Long time no see.
Hi eFsaF! It sounds like an anxiety reaction that has now become a conditioned response. Treating the anxiety (e.g. with anxiolytic medication) will probably lead to the conditioning's gradually going away (extinction).
It could be faster to use specific counter-conditioning, also known as desensitisation. In desensitisation, you apply a series of stimuli that cause the bad effect, of gradually increasing strength, at the same time countering the bad effect with an opposite one. In this case there are two separate stimuli: imminent sex, and dining out with strangers. For each, you could start with just going over in your mind past occasions. The counter-effect to oppose the feeling of nausea would have to be carefully chosen, and I think this process needs professional guidance.
Well, I hung out with her today, and all went well. I felt really sick, but just manned up and pushed through it, and didn't have any problems. The sickness went away after I pretty much saw her. :P
I still think I'll get that medication so I can go out to eat though!