I have recently begun dating this girl, and she happens to be a virgin which I have never been with before. I discovered upon first meeting her she was born premature and underwent several surgeries in her abdomen, with scars to show for it. She is unaware of what exactly was done and is rather embarrassed to talk about it. One of the results of the surgery is she is 18 and never had a menstrual cycle. And was told by a doctor that she never will. That's all well and good the issue that arises is one she has what I believe to be an imperforate hymen. It has very little give and despite my best efforts is not breaking. The second of which is she does not seem to enjoy other forms of foreplay even when no form of penetration is attempted. Is this just due to nervousness (she has never done anything like this before) or could there be some sort of nerve damage due to the surgeries when she was born? She does have feeling down there, the best way to put it is that it's not the reaction I normally get.
A few issues.
Hey, good to see you back!
Like you, I am wondering what the surgeries were. If her ovaries had to be removed her hormone levels will not be normal and this could well cause problems with erogenous feelings as well as with development. However this could be treated (e.g. with the oral contraceptive pill).
A tough hymen can be broken by minor surgery - obviously this would have to be her decision.
Nervousness is of course always possible.
I wonder if you as a couple can talk to her doctor?
That is what I am hoping to work towards. And I assume the one of the surgeries is just that but like I said she is very embarrassed about it all. I appreciate the input, and the low hormone levels would make sense to an extent. Would that still fit even though she does show signs of arousal, getting wet, and does want to have sex?
I wouldn't like to speculate too far - what is needed here is more information. It's possible that the surgery was quite different from what we are guessing - a hysterectomy that left the ovaries intact would also stop her having periods, for example. Despite her embarrassment, this is essentially a medical issue that needs medical advice.
I appreciate the input and I will do my best to convince her to find out exactly what is going on.
I hope you guys sorted it out. It's a shame she's embarassed about it - it's obviously a medical issue that is not her fault! Poor girl well done for being such a great and caring boyfriend xx
I appreciate the input, and the low hormone levels would make sense to an extent. Would that still fit even though she does show signs of arousal, getting wet, and does want to have sex?
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