Hi everyone I desperately need help here ! This girl I like is avoiding me , she knew I like her quite some time ago but had never treated me like this before . I was thinking I must had done something wrong that completely turned her off ! Now she dare nt even start any casual conversation with me and we have nt been talking for the past 2 weeks although we meet each other in class everyday .I dwelled obsessively with this issue jz to figure out what actually went wrong .It might be becoz her friends are teasing her abt our love affair She did complaint to me abt it previously .She really hate ppl spreading rumors regarding her. I am feeling guilty now for nt attending seriously to her problem the moment she told me abt it .She even suggested we both dun talk 1 to 1 jz in case other ppl saw us and make it as a joke .Why would someone so particular abt others teasing her ? After all , the fact is that if a person truly likes u , she can’t be bothered if others laugh at u both.I believe she did showed signs of intimacy when we are together such as : a) She gets jealous when I say some other girl is cute ( I am nt sure if this was meant to be her joke becoz the conversation was on fb chat where I cant sense her emotions ) b) We both spent wonderful time sharing thoughts abt our common interests and she sent me genuine regards before leaving. ( She is a friendly person in nature , am I misinterpreting that as a sign of her being interested in me ? )Or maybe she jz dun see me as a boyfriend material at the same time dare not reject me directly ?I remember things started went wrong ever since I tried to ask her out for dinner once , which was eventually turned down by her wif an excuse of doesn’t want to be a laughing material of her frens ! Am I coming on too strong and fright her off ? What should I do to get her back in this case where she’s always surrounded by the same bunch of frens who like to tease us . whenever they started these non-sense, I choose to act dumb jz to avoid further arguments , leaving her alone to deny their jokes . Is that a problem as I might appear weak and not being able to speak out for her ? Am I suppose to break the silence and start talking to her ? How ? Should I start by treating her as a fren and never mention abt getting in a relationship wif her ? How am I suppose to fix this ? I’m so doubtful !
Hi, Normal Guy, welcome to A2A.I think only she knows the answers to some of those questions, and the only way to find out is to ask her - but you'll have to be careful how you do it. It does seem that you are considered by her friends as not serious boyfriend material, and she is having trouble dealing with that. If she can't deal with that there might be no hope for you as a couple at this time (possibly in a couple of years she might be able to think more independently).I think you do need eventually a one-to-one talk, but completely alone and private. Perhaps it will have to be on the Net if this isn't possible face-to-face. But take it slowly - a couple of weeks of backing off wouldn't be a bad idea, I think.
Thanks a lot admin , you've reminded me abt smth which I've completely forgotten.
A girl who claimed to be 19 years old not necessarily have a mental ripeness corresponding to that age . Hope that a few years fr now she will be more prepared mentally and emotionally.
At the moment , I feel like both of us jz aren't matured enough to have any kind of relationship.
On her part as mentioned before , she's afraid to be other ppl's joke. She's easily scared and always depending on company from her friends.
As for me , I'm the type of person who tend to think of lots possible negative outcomes regarding certain problems , making myself stressed up .
I also secretly get jealous and envy on other guys who are able to make her laugh happily.
I jz can't afford to lose somebody whom I care so much .
My main concern now is to start by being her ordinary friend , I'll be thankful enough then.
I know this can also be a challenge as her friends will not stop talking abt us .
Do you have any idea of how this can be done ?
After this backing-off period I will try to communicate with her 1 to 1 .
Appreciate yr helpfulness . =)
I think problems are come in any relation but we need to be patient and try to remove all these problems which hurts us . I think its a better choice for us in any relation . Share your thinking about it .