I'm having an issue during sex that is making my partner and I a little concerned and some professional advice would be great appreciated.As a man I'm having trouble getting an orgasm during sex, but I am able to stay hard for the whole time which is until she is too exhausted. It honestly doesn't bother me as much as you might think because I'm happy that she's has no problems getting off herself and I feel that's enough to satisfy me. The problem here is that she would feel the same way about me and tells me it's hurting her self-esteem because she isn't able to return the favor. Afterward we lie awake talking about it, she says it's my problem and it could be a medical issue and here I thought it was a good thing. It could be a medical issue or some other factor entirely so I'll give a few facts about the relationship and myself to help you diagnose the problem. I am a young 25 year old male, I don't smoke and I don't really drink often. I like to pay attention to what I eat and I have a diet that includes a daily intake of most nutrients. I take a few vitamin supplements like omega-3 and vitamin D3 and B-complex, and also a few herbs like Maca, horny goat weed, both American and Panex ginseng, Astragulus and saw palmetto sometimes. It's silly but before I was in this sexual relationship I liked the feeling of a really hard dick and even after the age of 23 my dick was growing still just a little bit. I'm Christian and have been a very spiritual person but I started to realize that myself and others get a innocent sort of mindset when you go to mass and I'd like to have a philosophy that's a little more down to earth and people friendly. Although I still have the highest respect for Christ.The relationship is complex. It isn't really one. It's more like 2 single people getting together sometimes to ease the sting of loneliness but if either found a more serious partner than we would be able to break off. We are both rooting on the other to find someone great. I guess you could call it "friends with benefits" but I like to think of it more like a mono-companionship. The reason it won't go any further is because we're in to different areas in our lives. I'm a single 25 year old and she's a 40 year old divorced single mom. she's not a sugar momma since I can take care of myself but a part of me knows this probably isn't a healthy relationship.Feel free to judge, I'm not too sensitive to take any criticism and in fact I would welcome it, even if its belligerently arrogant.
-
Ignition w/o Take-off, A complex problem
-
I'm not a psycologist, but a question comes to mind immediately. Why are you investing time in a relationship with a 40 year old divorced single mom instead of girls yout own age?Do you find that you have the same issue (delayed orgasm) regardless of what position you use?
-
That's a good question, thanks for replying to my post. I'm not a psychologist either but human curiosity is a part of us all. This "relationship" arouses my thought is to why she's interested in me. She has a daughter who needs a good father but in her life she has never been in a decent relationship before. I can't say that I'm good because as you can see I'm a little conflicted myself but if I could ask her the right questions to think about, maybe I can get her moving in the right direction and maybe fix a repetitive cliché. I can't see myself staying in this relationship much further and your right I should find someone my own age. I can see now that it just might be the stress of the situation itself that might be causing the delayed orgasm because for that you'd have to be relaxed and I can show case relaxed but there's a difference.One other thing I'd like to point out is that maybe this wasn't the best place to talk about things and even not the right forum. Maybe I should reflect on why I wanted to talk to complete strangers with this sort of situation.
-
There are quite a few knowlegable people here, and I don't claim to be one of them. There are also people who care, and I do put myself in that group.This site is designed to be able to ask questions like yours without any fear or embarassment. Only you can decide if you feel comfortable or not. It is as anonymous as you yourself make it.I should add that there is also the private message function if you feel more confortable with it, but the forum will get you more viewpoints.
-
Hi FreshBrew, and welcome.What you have used to be called ejaculatio retardans, but now more often 'retarded ejaculation' or 'delayed ejaculation'. The Wikipedia article on it lists a lot of possible causes, including not enough sleep, worry and anxiety, alcohol and some medications; also some conditions such as diabetes or prostate problems. I think deep-seated feelings of guilt can also be a reason, and might be a factor in your case.
