Hey everyone, I've posted under the depression forum for a different topic but it relates to my possible addiction. A long story short, I'm a man in my late twenties, who's a decade out of high school, has exhausted two careers over the past 7 or 8 years and is unemployed, financially struggling, living back at home, still single with little relationship experience, and overall still haven't amounted to anything in life or have anything to show for. I have Major Depressive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder with moderate to severe anxiety, Panic Disorder as well as Insomnia. I take medications to help treat these disorders. On a daily basis, I take 1mg of Clonazepam (for anxiety), 300mg of Moclobemide (for stabilizing my mood), and 100mg Quetiapine/Seroquel (for depression & insomnia). Lately things have been pretty rough for myself, my whole given situation, lack of social support, as well as problems with family dynamics (family members ridiculing & harassing me for the situation that I'm in as well as these people are still trying to control my life because I still live at home). They treat me like I'm still a teenager even though I'm a grown man in my late twenties. This whole situation that has got progressively worse has really escalated even more, which I feel I'm at the end of my rope sort of speak and has led me to really require something to help me numb my pain. I don't abuse alcohol by any means but drink within moderate consumption. However, I've already finished off all my beer, liquor, vodka and any other alcohol I had left. I occasionally smoke Marijuana, not often at all (about once every 3-6 months). I'm down to my last joint, after that I won't have anything left. I can't buy anymore booze or weed due to my financial situation. I have a limited income from public assistance, which I've really been trying to obtain employment in the process without any luck as I've already mentioned earlier. I'm still paying on my student loans from a decade ago, even though a decade later (today) has still got me nowhere in life and is a major contributing factor to my problems. I take 4 tablets, which total up to (100mg) of Quetiapine/Seroquel (for depression & insomnia). Lately, I've been very anxious, restless, extremely irritable and can't sleep at night anymore, considering I'm still taking my medications to help. Possibly, my body is immune to taking the medication because I've taken it for about six months or so that it doesn't help much anymore. I have nothing else to help me other than to take 5 or 6 tablets, which total up to (125-150mg) of Quetiapine/Seroquel to help numb my pain and help me sleep. I just hope this is enough tablets to take to help with numbing my pain as I don't want to, and really shouldn't be taking any more than that. I'm just worried this will lead to an addiction in my case as I have nothing else to help me. I'm just worried that my body will become immune to that dosage and my body will go into withdrawal and will lead me to taking 7, 8, 9, 10, and possibly more until it seems to help. I really don't want to overdose on this medication and have additional health problems, hurt or kill myself in the process But that my be possible because my body needs something to numb me through this horrible ordeal I'm going through each and everyday in my life, that I've been going through for a couple years now Does this sound like an addiction? What can I do? Any suggestions would be most appreciated. Thanks in advance.
While this response comes several months after your original post, I'm jumping in because I want to check in on you. How have you been?
Have little pharmaceutical advice, but have you found a trusted confidant? An expression of thoughts, with someone who has either been in the trenches or isn't afraid of soil, it may not be the best. But it can be enough.
Insomnia is a cruel mistress--do you complete any meditations? Physical relaxation techniques? Heck, just doing interval training until you're exhausted?
In no way am I belittling the issues you've mentioned in your original message. Just offering possible sails in the storm.