Just got dumped by my girlfriend the other day.Shes had a VERY rough life. Mom thats tried to kill her, all that type of shit. I love her A LOT. Her most recent boyfriend broke up with her maybe a month ago? When he did, he took all the things she trusted him with and threw them back in her face. So she says shes having trust problems and such and I believe her.Well her reason for breaking it off (lasted 2 weeks) was that she isn't ready for a relationship, things were moving to fast, and the above mentioned stuff.The day after she dumps me, her and a few of my friends want to go out to breakfast, I say I don't want to go. So they take off, then come back over to my house to try to get me to go do stuff again. I say no again... They leave... Of course I'm watching from my window kicking myself in the head, and I notice shes not with them.Apparently shes breaking down on my steps. My doorbell rings, all my friends are standing around looking solemn and she jumps up and pulls me inside. Said she was confused... We didn't really talk much.Been about 3 days since she broke up with me? And I'm really tempted to call her (since shes not in town for another two days) and tell her that I didn't mean to put pressure on her, didn't mean for things to move to fast, and I definately didn't want her to change for me. And that if she wants to try it again that I'm open for it.But of course, add that when she feels ready.My question is, if your a girl.... all this stuff has happened to you. Did she dump me because I wasn't what she wanted? Or is she really still recupperating? I dunno. I'm just so freaking confused.
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Need help (prefereably a woman's point of view)
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Grandia, first 2 questions... How old are you? Have you known her a long time? I'm just wondering about the "L" word being used only 2 weeks into a relationship. Anyone needs time after a break-up, they say that if you divide the time of the relationship in half, that's the amt. of time they need for recovery. I don't think that rule is always right, but it's something to think about. Anyone needs time, but in her case, it sounds like there are a LOT of other issues going on. Just tell her you care for her and that you would like to be friends for now. When/if she's ready for a relationship, then you will see what happens between you guys. Is she in any type of counselling? Probably a VERY good idea. Take care.
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I think I've known her more than a year. We were damn good friends before the "relationship". So yeah.
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Wasn't trying to offend... I'm just pretty upfront.
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Its most likely due to the emotional stuff she's dealing with. The tug of war with your emotions are seen among individual's with trust issues. She might be worried she'd loose a friend at the end of the relationship if it lasts too long. She's dealing with betrayal and the feeling of desertion. Being there for her is the best thing you could do. It's a good idea to express how you feel about the relationship. Hope it helps.