I would like to know how to tell a friend of mine that I am bisexual we have been talking and he asked if I was gay or bisexual and I told him no but that's not wright and I really really like him so if someone can help thank.
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Coming out
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@johndeere4020
Hey John, Welcome to A2A. That a tough question to answer. Coming out is difficult for some and easy for others. A lot has to do with your family, your friends and how it will be received. Telling someone something so personal is hard to do but if it help, It's a lot easier to do it today than it was when I came out. You didn't mentioned how old you are or if your a male or female. Not that it really matters, but it help to just know. There are a few things I can pass along to you from my own experience. I'm not sure if it will help, but know that there are many support groups in communities to help someone with coming out.You said you wanted to tell your friend. Are you wanting to tell him because he's your best friend and you hate keeping secrets from him, or are you wanting to tell him because you like him and you have some sexual tension between the two of you and you're hoping to hook up with them??? Growing up for me, was tough. Being gay wasn't accepted like it is today and I was hurt a lot by my buddies by telling some of them I was struggling with my sexual identity. I told them in confidence and was embarrassed when they told other people I liked dick more than pussy. I hadn't really had grown up sex yet, but I knew I felt different. I was struggling because I knew I was more attracted to my wrestling and baseball coaches and some of the older boys on my teams and my buddies were always talking about the girls and tit's. When They talked about what they did on Friday nights or their dates, instead of imagining the girls they were describing I was imagining what their dick looked like when the girls was giving them blow jobs. It was a curse, but I survived.
Depending on your personal situation If you can honestly trust this person than tell I would them, as its always best to be honest with yourself and your friends, BUT ... Be prepared if they are not cool with it. There's always a chance they will freak out a bit. I have a saying... If someone is bold enough to come up to me and honestly ask me if I was gay or bisexual, I was obligated to tell them the truth. But that me! Straight people don't go around and introduce themselves and tell us they're straight, they just assume we know. So I don't think I have to tell them I'm gay. I just be myself and assume that they all know and are cool with it. Its never been a problem for me. But it was easier for me to be who I was after high school.
Sorry, I have a bad habit of railroading threads... Sorry I was rambling... Back to your question. If you feel you can trust him or you want to be honest wit them, then tell them but be prepared for your friendship to change either way after they are told, If they freak out a little, just give them a little space but let them know you're the same person you were before you told them so they know your friendship wasn't built on a lie. I hope that help and feel free to reach out to me if you have any other questions or concerns. I've been thru it all.......
Good Luck and let me now how it turns out for you with your friend.
-Rick
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I am 32 and a male my family dose not know I am afraid what will happen but I have live a sheltered life I am the black sheep of the family I am the oldest out of one brother and three sisters thay all have kids and are married I don't have kids or a girlfriend but I do have boy " friends " that I talk to and have had fun with but the one I am talking about he's cool as hell and he's dose things that makes me think he mite be bisexual too
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@johndeere4020
I could suggest things to try if you were a teen and coming of age, but being 32, I would suggest the direct approach. it's much easier to experiment sexually when you're a teen than when you're an adult. At 32, most people kinda know where they are mentally and sexually. You sound like a really cool guy. I don't know your living situation, or your living environment, but being 32, I beleive you're best approach would be just ask or tell. Grab a 12 pack and spend time with your bud and if you ever have a discussion about your sexual past, present or future, perhaps tell him the truth. Tell him you were afraid to say anything because you're not sure how he would take it, but that you're curious about what sex with another man would be like. If he's as cool as you are about it, them maybe something will happen, if not, I'm sure you'll have a stronger friendship bond because you told him the truth and it was something very personal.I'm not sure where you live but must larger cities have a LGBT community center where you can talk to counsels or groups about understanding yourself and help you deal with those feelings. They didn't have that when I was growing up. I tried to live the "Straight Life" and hurt a lot of people doing that along the way. I was engaged to be married but broke it off because I think marriage is sacred pledge to one another and I was afraid I would be unfaithful and that's not me, so I broke it off two weeks before we were to be married. It was ugly. I had to finely tell friends and family my dark secret..
My family is extremely Catholic and was extremely hurt over my deception and my sinful thoughts and ways after I told my parents the reasons I couldn't get married. My parents pretty much disowned me and pushed me away. I haven't spoken to my father is over 35 years. He will not acknowledge me, still to this day. After my parents divorced, My mom finely accepted who I was and I was fortunate to have her in my life for a short time before she passed away. MY father and younger sister still won't give me the time of day. I do talk to my older sister and we have become close but haven't actually seen her in 32 years. (We're planning on meeting each other this year).
Times are changing and mainstreem America is becoming acepting to alternate lifestyle. It's a very difficult life to live as there is a lot of hater in this world. But if you have close friends and a good support group, life can be good. Here a site you can look at and even call and talk to someone. It's for the national LGBT Help center. They might be able to put you in touch with other guys dealing with the same thing in your area. http://www.glbthotline.org It better than looking for love on with the Grindr App. (http://www.grindr.com)
-Rick
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Thank Rick. I a very cool guy I have been put off to the side should I say I am the black sheep of the family I have a lot of problems been in and out of hospitals not ER ones lol I have tried to make my life better for me but my family keeps putting me down I don't talk to much about my past. When I was in mild school I did thangs that some kids try. When my cuz was living with us he had me giving him a bj and it felt good and I liked it after a while then after that I still like what I do if I find someone that's interest in it to I have tried to get a girlfriend but I don't fill right being around a girl now a guy O yea I fill right I can talk to them I don't know why I fill like I can't open up and fill weird being around a girl.
