PLEASE HELP

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This is really long but please read anyways. Ok, I went out with this guy for about a year. We broke up in May but still hung out. he invited me to go to the beach one day with him and his friends. I met all of them and we all started hanging out and we had Halo Lan parties and stuff. Well, after a while me and him wuit talking and he qiut hanging out with his friends. He didnt' know thought that from the first day we went to the beach, I started liking one of his friends. He was really funny, cute, smart, sweet, a nerd :P, and all the stuff I love in a guy.Well, we started talking on the internet and I really started liking him then so one day i got the nerves to tell him. He told me we could never have a chance because I used to go out with his friend, even though my ex used to talk about him all the time. SO i said ok, and got over it... About 3 months later (july) we started hanging out alot and doing stuff together other than playing halo.. My friends made a bet to see if he liked me or not and he told them he didn't, but the next day after we all hung out again he said the bet was still going.. That night I stayed at his house and we talked for about 7 hours. Well, after all that we really liked each other and decided we would go out. Tell our friends after a little time goes by.. ya know... So we were officially boyfriend and girlfriend on July 12. The sad part is that he was moving in 2 or 3 weeks for college. We agreed to visit all the time and talk everynight, write emails and we hung out everyday before he left. I thought we really had something. I loved him and I really started falling. He's had a bad past, lets just say he knows what love is. He told me he loved me, but we both agreed we werent IN love yet. The first couple of weeks went well. We got along pretty good except i really started to miss him. I'm also a REALLY jealous person and for me to keep a long distance relationship is saying alot. The day after we started going out i caught him staring at some girls ass and he said he does it so they will turn around and see that hes staring and they give him a mischevious grin. He thinks its funny or something but I didnt.. I think if he checks other girls out then I'm not good enough for him, that he needs to look at other girls. (i've changed my thoughts now dont worry) He told me the perfect girlfriend would walk around the mall with him and he would say that some fine girlhad a nice ass and i would just agree or something stupid. He knows thats not what I would do. So this weekend he came to visit. He told me about how he went to watch his brother in laws band play at some club. The lead singers girlfreind got really drunk and danced with all the guys she could find and was being a whore and shit, so I got jealous. He said she looked good and of course I got mad because i thought he went to watch the band, not a whore which was what he was doing. Then i asked if she had a nice ass and all that and he said he doesnt know because he didnt look. SO i let that alone. Then we went to see his parents and say hi. First off his mom gave me a hug (i heard she SO doesnt do that) so i almost cried. His friends called him and asked if he wanted to play halo but said i couldnt come because one of the guys' girlfriends didnt like me. We had plans to hang out which is why i went to his house, but the only way he could play with them since they didnt want me there was for him to break our plans to hang out and take me home (i live 30 minutes away). He told me why i couldnt go so i got pissed at the girl for saying i couldnt go over there. He assumed (never asked) that i was mad at him so he opted to take me home. I asked him to just drop me off at my best friends house. On the way there he told me he was planning on hanging out with them all weekend becuase they work all week all day, and he was going to hang out with me all during the week, although he knows that after i get out of school i go straight to work. I said dont worry about it now because you ruined that so he figured i was breaking up with him. I called him later and we started talking and he said sometimes he dont feel like hes the right boyfriend for me and he cant be comfortable or himself around me, which is why he lies to me. He said its for my own good and so i wont get hurt so i asked how he lied to me. He said he thought the lead singers girlfriend was hott and so was her ass and he was staring but he lied so i would get hurt.. hah. so i said if youve already lied to me then we just shouldnt go out. Well, now he acts like we never went out and he dont care that we broke up and shit. And he lied about his friends having to work all week because they get off before i do and hes still been hanging out with them everyday. When we were going out we planned on going to to Atlanta together for a football game so i bought our tickets. Now Im not going because I have no one to go with. (after we talked he said he'll talk to his friends about me going with them although they all agreed to ride in one car ) I told him about how I've changed though. I realize now that I cant get mad for him looking or just saying shit. Because its not like hes cheating. And hes the only guy i trusted anyways, I know he wont cheat on me, so i dont know why i had a problem in the first place. I think i just didnt want to except the fact that i trusted him and he wouldnt cheat on me or something. Well, I said i love him and want to be with him and i love his personality and want him to be himself because thats what made me like him in the first place. He said if we ever go out it wont be anytime soon. For now he wants me to finish my senior year, have a great time, do what i want, and like everything about myself. During that time he will talk to me and see if he thinks Ive changes and all. We agreed to be loyal to the boyfriend/girlfriend we dont have until we find out whats going on. The hard part is that after i graduate i dont know where im goign to college. When we were going out i agreed that i would live with him and go to college where he does, but now i dont know why i would go. And if he decides to go out with me again and give me another chance, I think it'd be too late because i'd have to leave for college. But i really do want to make this work with him and he doesnt see how badly i want it. What do you think he really wants or what I should do. Should i try to prove myself or just let it go and forget about everything that happened? He really did make me happy. He made me feel better than anyone in the world ever did. The long distance wasnt a problem because I really did trust him. I just dont know what to do or what to think... PLEASE HELP MEEE!!!

seems to me that you have very unbalanced desires.You appear to be serverly into him and he's just like "meh whatever." personally i dont think that you can have a great relationship while he thinks like that.you cant make him change his mindif he really wanted to be with you, he would. dont spend all your time doting on someone who doesn't see you the same way, its not healthybecause i dont live in america i'm totally lost about time frame here about college etc, cause it seems to me that you talk bout him moving to college is what first happened (just after july incidents), yet its going to happen again at the end of this year?

well, i meant that he moved to go to college this year but next year i have to go to college so i will be moving too. but either way it dont matter. after he told me he wanted to see how things worked out in the future, he just told me he doesnt want to anymore and so i guess he just doesnt want to have anything to do with me. thanks for the help though, i appreciate it.

hard as it sounds, just forget about him. you will not believe all the GREAT guys you will meet in college!

i heard the same type of crap from an ex i was really into. Engaged and all. Thing is after he broke up with me everything he said was a lie. Get over the dude. Find another guy thats more sensitive to you. This will help you heal from the crap college guy and put you in a healthier relationship. If a guy always chooses his friends over a girl he's supposed to be really into means he's a loser and can't give you the relationship you need.

This is my ex-girlfriend's post. lol. I figure the coast is clear now. Just wanted to say she made me sound like a total jerk and she left quite a bit out of her contributions toward the breakup. Oh, and I also wanted to say I'm not a loser.

Apparently, you like to stare at asses :grin:

Ah, what can I say, guilty as charged. It doesn't help when your telling a story with ANY female in it and your girlfriend asks questions like, "did she have a nice ass" with that snobby tone of voice. Should I have lied or should I have told the truth? I tried both and either way it turned out shitty.

The safest answer (lying, of course) is "I didn't notice".

lmao. That's exactly what I said when I lied to her. In reply to: he said he doesnt know because he didnt look This is her version of me saying "I didn't notice". She also asked what color hair she had and I said "I'm not sure". hahah. So I guess I gave the right answer?Anyway, how we hooked up in the first place was a mistake on my part. I could see it was a very very slim chance of it working out but I decided I'd give it a chance anyway. I'm not going to do that again.