I turn pyscho instally. Like, for example. Tonight talking to someone on messanger. They were talking about the movies and I instantly got pissed off. Not at him. Just at people. I started thinking of ways to kill large groups of people. Plotting it in my head, where I would place bombs, where I would park. Just planning the whole thing out. I had this big smile on my face the whole time. I always smile when I think of this stuff. When I'm on Orgrish.com, I just have this big smile while I look at bodies. At times I will bust out into laughter. This is while I'm not high. If I'm high, I go WTF? Thats totaly fucked up to laugh at this or think about it. Sometimes atleast.
In school, I can't get math. I just can't get it. It doesn't make sense to me. Just gets all jumbled. I have tryed getting tutored, asking friends, interent, looking through the math book.. Everything. I just don't get it. Same thing with essays or story's in english. I can come up with some great storys off the top of my head, but can't put them on paper. I have been able to type them out a few times, but I was high. I can't do it otherwise. I've tryed several times.
Any idea? Whats wrong with me? I've had these problems before I started smoking weed so I know it isn't related. -Thanks