First of all, i'm a teetotaller so any amount of alcohol is excessive to me. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 months and i love him so much, but i'm worried about how much he drinks, when we're together he drinks 3-5 cans of lager a night and when we go out to meet friends he often gets really drunk.He never drinks before 7pm unless its a big social event where everyone is drinking, and he gets up and goes to work everyday so its not effecting that. I just don't know, i'm worried about the damage he's causing to his body but i can't ask him to cut down cos its his decision.What should i do?
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Worried over boyfriends drinking
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Do nothing. Stop being the nagging girlfriend.
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That was a great answer..thanks so much for your help. If you have nothing positive to add please don't respond. She's looking for help with this and never said she was "nagging" him as you said. GeezSounds like alcohol may be a problem for him. It isnt' always about how much or how often he drinks but what it does to him, how it changes him. But daily drinking is often a sign of potential problems or reasons for concern. Have you talked over your concerns with him? When drinking does he ever become angry or agressive with you or others? And does he drink and then drive, particularly if you are in the car? If so, then you need to take some steps to protect yourself.
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It does seem he has a bit of a problem that may get worse - or it may get better - as he gets older. It's not likely that he'll admit it to himself, though. :frowning:
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This is probably why you have never had a girl friend becuase if you truly love them you will do everything to make them happy and you care for what they say!
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He's got a point though.
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Fuck you then. I dont care. Let people do whatever they want.
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I dont want some fuckign bitch telling me what to do. I told a girl to fuck off just this week. She liked me but wants me to quit everything. I refuse.
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If you ever get in a commited relationship you'll realize what it's like. Trust me it's not always worth it, but you got to do what you got to do!
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I haven't nagged him, i haven't even mentioned it to him. He doesn't drive so thats not a problem and he never becomes aggressive in fact he becomes more happier. He has mentioned that he's worried about the amount of alcohol he's drinking but at the same time he hasn't taken any active steps to cut down.
Last night he sent me a text message saying he was having trouble standing due to drinking. I worry about him when i'm not around, i don't want to be the spoil sport cos he's having fun, but its too often a occurance, i know that drinking is something he enjoys like anyone does cos thats why they do it, so i don't want to take it away but i just see all the damage its doing to him.
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I'm worried about your b/f too. If he's calling telling you he's having trouble standing up and he drinks like this regularly...I think he's asking for some help. Since he mentioned being a bit concerned himself, then maybe its time to help him take a look at his drinking behavior. Are there other friends that could help you sit down and have a talk with him? It sounds like its time to share your concerns with him in a caring manner not so that you "nag" him or "ruin" his fun.... Its about his personal safety and well-being. One other tip, do this when he hasn't had anything at all to drink!
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I don't know how to talk to him, everything i think of saying sounds like i'm attacking him, which i'm not, i'm worried about him, but i know its gonna sound like i'm trying to change him.
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Re-read everything you've posted and gather up your thoughts. Find a time when your bf is sober and in a good mood and just tell him how you feel.
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I just posted the URL to a website that can assess your drinking (I posted that before I saw your question). The address is: www.AlcoholScreening.orgmaybe you can tell your boyfriend to go there and fill out the questions and read the feedback. I know it's hard talking with someone about THEIR behavior, but this might help you do it? I dunno. Let me know. I had the same problem with a friend of mine one time. She's better now. It was worth the talk.
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try talking to him about it, tell him that your worried about him
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There's always subtle things you can do. Like if it's just you two and he goes for another gulp, push the drink away and kiss him or something. That'd distract me enough to stop almost anything..
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In reply to:
he drinks 3-5 cans of lager
ok right. thats not an awful lot to be honest (unless its like export larger) i drink more than that every night, and i'm way from being an alcoholic
In reply to:
when we go out to meet friends he often gets really drunk
again, not a problem. when i go out with friends i get so drunk i usualy dont remember anything.
still, if they do it just for the hell of it, this person might have a big problem. alcoholism is very spesific to the individual, for example i'd NEVER drink to get drunk on my own. its just sad
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From all of what you have just said... I would say that YOU have a problem too.
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i know i dont have a problem with drinking. i never NEED a drink. i dont come back from university, sit down and get wasted. i'll drink a few glasses of wine with dinner, then have a few cans as i work and maybe a whiskey with mates later. thats hardly alcoholism. i know it varies from person to person, but i know i'm not an alcoholic, i dont drink every single day unless i want to. still as i say it varies. some people can drink every day and not be an alcoholic(me) and for others, its different
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oh and that alcoholscreening.org website is a load of utter cunt shite. if your under 21 it automaticly says your an alcoholic, pfff. somebody (i.e. me) should make one that is actualy useful for people who are under 21