Ok so me and my girl have been seeing eachother for awhile now (3 months or so) and we're taking it slow. She invited me over to her place last night to chill out. We watched a horror and put back some coolers (abt 2 or 3each), we're both small (but over 18 ) so it really loosened us up I guess you could say. We started to fool around on the couch and ended up on the living room floor, she knew I was hard and I slowly moved up and down on her as we kissed...dry sex I guess? lol? She seemed to like it We relaxed and listened to some music for a bit and then began fooling around some more. It had been a few hours by now so we were sobering up you might say, anyway my hand was slowly carresing/massaging her inner thigh which she seemed to like and then moved onto her "special area." She paused at first but then continued to kiss me, maybe a bit more amarously then before. I figured she liked that too. She was wearing jeans and my hand was over top of the fabric so it would be hard to accomplish what I had in mind for her. I slowly moved my way up and then down her pants, I got maybe an inch from the target when she pulled her lips away and whispered "no." it wasn't rude and she wasn't mad, I said "it's ok, sorry" and we began kissing again but not nearly as passionately as it had begun. I had to leave shortly later, it was quite early and we both had to be up before noon the next day (we're teens, we sleep past noon on weekends usually... :P ). Anyhow yea, she seemed totally fine with it but i just can't think it was that easy when there have been certain issues regarding other areas of the body. I hope she doesn't think I was trying to take advantage of her, we were both pretty sober. Somethings telling me there might be more to it she's not wanting to tell me. But previously she said she had thought about moving further but also stipulated that because she has thought about it doesn't mean she is ready for it. I know I can't bring it up again without creating an awkward situation so I need to figure out a way to find out were I stand. It could go either way I think, 50/50 good or bad. what do you guys think?
Have I over stepped my bounds?
Sounds to me like she's scared of being hurt and that once sex has started in a relationship it takes it to a whole new level, and one that she may be uncomfortable with.
i wouldn't bring it up. just take it slowly and let her take the lead as to going further or not. she'll let you know when she is ready for more.
well we're not going to have sex, we're gonna wait till marriage before that happens due to religous reasons. But I don't view things like manual or oral sex as breaking that boundary and she really doesn't either.We do like to take it slow and her last relationship was a little wonky to say the least so she never really learned how to make a move. I sorta set the pace for all those sorts of things, I don't mind I guess but then it creates situations like these.She really doesn't know how to set the pace so if I left it to her I doubt we would have kissed by now. any other suggestions?
if things are awkward next time you see her.. maybe it would be a good time to hold back on the fooling around until things loosen up more.. next time let her make the next move..
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