those who remember me from my other threads, probably know a little more about me than I feel like decribing right now.
Ok, so I've been deprest for a few years, actually, almost for as long as I can remember I've never really been "happy". Since about a year ago, I've just been getting worse, and last summer I started getting panic attacks, and lately I've been getting them in school, and it's really to hard for me to deal with on my own. I usually just ditch school if I'm having a panic attack, or if I feel it coming on I'll just go to the nurse, and lay down.
Oh and I don't sleep much, I cut myself somtimes, and the only reason I haven't killed myself yet, is because I don't wanna hurt anyone else.
I know that I probably won't feel better without help, but it's just to hard...
I'm really the mess up in my family, all my brothers get good grades in school, my oldest brother spent 9 years in the marine core, and now he's going to college, my sister just got her masters, and she's probably gunna be pretty succesful. All I ever here from my parents is about how irresponsible is am, or how i'm never gunna make somthing out of my life, for any stupid reason....
damn this is way to long, sorry for typing so much, but anyway the only reason I don't wanna let anyone know how fucked up I am is because, since I'm already the biggest mistake my parents ever made, it'll only be worse if they find out that I'm goin nuts.
I don't want anyone to think less of me than they already do now...