I have been with the same girl for 10 years. The girl is great and she is my best friend. We have so much in common from sports and hobbies, to politics and philosophical beliefs. I really care about her, and can't imagine not having her in my life... but... she is the only one I have had sex with, and the only serious relationship I have been in. I should be very happy, and I am happy...but... Although she is very attractive, she is not my "type." I am attracted to her, but always imagined being with someone who had darker hair and darker skin... I know it's not a big deal, but when I see a hot brunette, I almost die.2nd, having not been with any other women, I just have a ton of curiosity about what it would be like to be with someone else. I would love to feel what it would be like to make love to a woman who with a different accent, or was a different race, or had a different personality, or body type. I never intended for my first gf to be my only gf, it just worked out that way.3rd, (I don't want to sound arrogant, but this is part of my problem:) I am considered very attractive, and have been hit on by numerous, attractive women. I have turned down sex from women who are total fantasies to me, and it's killing me. I have had co workers who I was totally in lust with, and turned them down... arrgh! It's killing me! I wish I could go back in time before I met this girl, and experience all of these things first, and then live happily ever after with this girl. If you were in my shoes what would you do?
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Same girl for years!
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Ifi were in your shoes, id stay with your girl, this isnt like the girls you just want to experiment to see what sex is like with other people, you have attachments and you love your gf after being with her so long, you should get married and have children one day, but do whatever you want, but just know you might not be able to go back to her once you've broken it.
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Do you really think that past memories of being with other women would quench your sex-drive and curiosity (allowing you to live "happily ever after")? Do you think that prior sexual experience would make it any easier to reject sexual advances from attractive women? Believe me, even if you had sex with 50 sexy, dark skinned brunettes before you met your current gf, you'd be in the exact same position that you're in right now---curious and horny. That's called having a penis---whether your like it or not, and regardless of your past experience, the little guy wants more than he can handle---he never lives happily ever after, but that doesn't mean that you have to follow his crazy demands.Stay with your girlfriend. After 10 years, you guys sound like an amazing couple. Don't throw that out in an attempt to satiate the insatiable. You'll regret it, and you won't feel any different after gaining more experience. On the other hand, a best friend and a lover (what you have right now) is damn good stuff!
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That's pretty much why I haven't messed around with any of these other women. I don't want to ruin a good thing. To be honest it's not totally about sex. When I was a kid, I always dreamed about falling in love and having this amazing passionate relationship where we would make love all of the time and travel all over the country together. (I know, I watch too many movies) The gf I have now is awesome, but it evolved out of a good friendship. I never got to experience that passionate stage of being "in love." I wish I could have that feeling with the girl I have now, but it just isn't there. On a scale of 1-10, we get along with each other at a 10, but there is only about a 3 for passion. I just want to have that feeling of someone looking into my eyes with complete lust and desire, even if I only got to 1st base.
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Thanks Steppenwolf, good post. I made my last comment before I read your post. Would I feel the same if I had experienced more beforehand? I guess I'll never know. I shouldn't complain about having a good thing, but I guess it's human nature to always want more, or at least want what you don't have. The grass is always greener. There's probably some rock star out there who has sex with 5 supermodels a day, and wants what I have... who knows?
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That post was partly from experience. I'm married to an absolutely wonderful woman---she's my best friend, brilliant, confident, and sexy. Unlike you, I've had sex with several other women prior to meeting my current love (I'm no Don Juan---but you get the picture).
Although I've had some prior experience, every time I see an attractive woman, Seargent Stiffy reports for duty. On many occasions, that attractive woman has started coming onto me, and I always feel a small tinge of regret when I reject her. Like you, I'll also sometimes wonder about sex with different ethnicities, body types, or personally types that I've never been with in bed. C'est la vie.
That said, it's all worth it. Love is amazing :grin:
Anyway, good luck with everything.
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You gotta go with your gut bro. I believe whatever happens happens for some kinda reason. If your gut is tellin you to split up with her then I say do it. If you're gut is tellin you to stay with her, but curiousity is tellin you to try somethin new STAY WITH HER. I'll go ahead & tell you right now, the best sex I've had was with the girls I dated for long periods of time. Another words, when you're with someone for a while you both know what each other wants & the sex is better.SO unless you wantin to be a player for a while & try to add to your numbers, stay with your girl bro. Sounds like you have a good one if yall that close & been together for that long.
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Sounds to me like you married when you were young. Most young couples that get together and stay together think about the things they missed out on. In my opinion, you're not missing out on much.There are some men and women who sleep with different people all the time and just can't seem to find The One. These are the people that long for what you have. This goes vice versa with your situation.Someone very close to me may be having a divorce soon because of the same thing you're talking about. What would I do if I were in your shoes? I'd stay with her. But I've been in love before... and it ended horribly. Love hurts sometimes.
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I don't believe he is married.
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I am not married, but that is the next step, and the main reason for my original post. I think you all have been very helpful. There is no doubt that I love this girl, but I hope you can understand my hesitation in taking the next step, having not experienced what some of you have. What I am hearing from your posts is that the type of high octane romance and passion that you see in romantic movies does not last, and the type of intimate companionship that I have with my gf is the true goal. Has anyone ever had the passionate type of relationship and had it last? Or has anyone had a relationship based on friendship, and found passion later?
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In reply to:
Has anyone ever had the passionate type of relationship and had it last? Or has anyone had a relationship based on friendship, and found passion later?
No to the first question and kind of on the second question. The reason I say kind of is because I fell in love with her and she didn't fall in love with me.
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You should take a long trip to another country.
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well, i'm female, but i have some input here.. i have been with 3 men. the first was the long-term loving relationship.. we waited almost one and a half years to have sex. and when we did, it was good.the second man was one of those 'friends' but not a close one.. we thought there was something there, but we were wrong.the third man i was with, we were friends for 3 years before we even thought about it. we went out a few times, and one night he just kissed me.. a month later, we had sex. with him, we fell for each other fast, in every way- especially mentally.. and it was equally physical amazing. we never 'dated' (for timing and problem constraints), but we're still in the process of talking to make things work, so i don't know where this one is going right now.the first guy made a huge difference because, although the sex was not astounding, we had love. and that made it all the more special.. the one with the friend was more passionate because we both wanted each other physically and happend to be interested beforehand (even though there was no love yet).. looking back now, i think the two were about equal to each other.. i imagine the relationship you have now is one of the best kinds out there. you have built it on a strong friendship and you have grown to love each other. it's exactly what i would want, and i'm jealous of you. i can understand where you're coming from on wanting to be experimental, but in my opinion, you should stay with this girl. after having that 'passionate' sex you talked about, it will just someone you did, not someone you loved. love is much stronger than lust.. and personally, after i had sex with that second guy, i felt discusted because although i was attracted to him, there was no emotional connection like i had with the other two.hope that helped. good luck in your decision making.
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i have had sex with two different girls in my young life... The first one i had no feelings for what, it was sex just to have sex... THe second girl, i care for, I love her and it was so amazing to expereicen it with someoneo you love and care for not just some random chick...