It was minutely talked about in another thread, but I'm really curious, how do you guys think being molested at a young age affects their sex drive later on?
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Sex drive and early molestation
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My boyfriend was a victim of child molestation at a very young age. And from his personal experience, he firmly believes what happened to him warped his view on sexuality.He believed touching and rubbing the genitals of girls at the age of nine was a normal thing to do. He didn't learn this from porn or friends, but from his molester. As he got more involved, his sexual activity increased. At the age of thirteen, he lost his virginity. At the time, he believed that virginity was nothing more but a petty idea. Sex was just sex and nothing more. He's now twenty-six and greatly regrets it.My boyfriend admitted that he was very promiscuous. He's had a few sexual partners from his teens to early twenties, but also had other times where he would give or recieve oral from random girls. He didn't care where he was or who it was, as long as he was sexually satisfied. It even affected most of his past relationships.He then told me as soon as he hit around twenty-one, he finally realized that sex isn't everything and finally wanted a real relationship. His past sexual experiences left him feeling like something was missing and everything he did was meaningless.From what I learned from him, I can see how molestation could affect one's sexual upbringing. Because of what happened, his sex drive was higher, but left him with regrets. Sadly, though, what happened to him also effected his mental health.
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How sad.
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You already know my answer to this one.
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Yikes..I know a woman who resents most men because her father raped her, I'm one of the few she doesn't hate.She hasn't resorted to lesbianism.
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She probably doesn't hate you because you don't come on to her in a sexual manner. Try it and see!Actually I'm only kidding: Don't try it.
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it fuckes with ur fuckign head. what i feel... i feel when i want it and i can't have it i go CRAZY.. what i feel... on the other hand.. i can't stand anythign about it.i have it one way other the other... with a few normal (been told they are) days. there are serin times of the day & night i'm just insane.... i'll try to get back to on this if i can (pending on my mood) right now i feel i could do this but i;m on my way out to see my girl and paw at her.... hope she has a rolled up magazine cuz she's goign to need it. lol im in one of those high needed it moods. .....and for the record i hate this mood cuz it makes me feel liek a dirt basterd. ... i g2g
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I remain sceptical that psychological trauma makes a difference to something as fundamentally biochemical as sex drive, and I have seen no studies that suggest it. I think "high sex drive" is often seen as a reason for promiscuity, but what you have and what you do with it are different things. Too-early experiences may make children aware of what is there when they otherwise wouldn't know what they weren't getting, but that's a heightened awareness, rather than a heightened sex drive.The problems of sexual abuse are serious enough without casting the net wider than evidence suggests. My impression is that some victims fear sex and try to suppress it; some others hold it more cheaply than most and try to buy love with it; some fight opposing feelings as Caleb describes; but these are not evidence for any change in the actual drive.
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Well said. I've learned over the past year how much common "wisdom" around victims of sexual abuse is a lot of common and no wisdom. For instance, it's commonly stated that victims of sexual abuse are more likely to become abusers themselves. Not true at all. While research shows that victims of physical abuse are more likely to abuse others, victims of sexual abuse alone tend to act out in ways that are more self-directed, not towards others.
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I think my view on sex stuff is warped too. I just don't only confuse other people but I confuse myself. I do shit I dk y I do it.
Like your bf I lost mine when I was 13 too, but I lie about it. It was partly my fault anyway. We were watching porn and I asked for it. She told me everything to do form how to to where to touch.. She made me into a monster. When I wanted it (and that was aot) she was there. She had her license then and we made "store visits" a lot. But really it was lies so we could go to fuck some place. Ok I need to shut up about that now.
Weeks later after I turned 14 my parents and other sister went away for a weekend to a horse show. I was pretty pissed when they left me home and wouldn't do anything with her that night. i feel guilty for not telling my parents but it really don't matter. The next night.... Was Ryan's stupid party and I'm going to leave it at that.I'm not really promiscuous. I dk if it's just cuz I'm not or if it's cuz I'm too shy. Maybe shy.. I dk.. I never went after drugs........ Only the ones in our home so... I started dating Laces cuz she wouldn't leave me alone. I don't do well with peer pressure. I gave up and told her ok. Things were good with us till sex came in the relationship. Then with Lindsey it's all it was about was sex. After me laces broke up I did go to her for some blows... she did it willingly just to have me back in her life and I used her cuz I knew it see I'm not as nice as people think. I felt bad about it a few days after.. I feel bad about it still now but I sure didn't when I was horney. I did some bad things to Shannon in the beginning of our relation ship too... I tricked her into giving me a hand job. I still feel awful for that. She said I didn't; make her do anything that she wanted too... I think she was just trying to make me feel better when I apologized to her for tricking her.
My molester thought me "games" when I was really young. I tried to play one of the "games" with ash but she was bossy enough to tell me I wasn't playing right and not touch her genitals. I still feel bad about that.... I know I didn't know any better then but I do now and it bugs me.
I know that sex feels good.. if not great but I also know it can hurt when your forced and sometimes even when I was forced it was still good... I'm pretty fucked up.
It's hard being confused , frustrated and wondering all the time. Basically living with a tormented mind. Like a recorder that's broken. it's got two thing.. Rewind and play.....rewind and play.. I want the fucker to break!! Like my issues I was making with a friend. My heart was battling my head and my head was battling my head.. Thoughts back and forth.. Knowing the things I feel , the things I know, and then hearing the shit she said about him and what my dad said about him and . I dk what to listen too I guess. Just a constant fight. When I talk to some one (or certain people) I just get mixed info and that makes it worse.. cuz I dk who to go with. I dk what side is right. When I'm down I'm flooded....
Me and my therapist lately have been talking about this friend / friends (yea.. I made a post about them) things are better but my head is little clearer and I've pulled from the down.........I don't think I can talk anymore.
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I think that her Subject line probably should have read "Promiscuity and early molestation" rather than "Sex drive and early molestation"
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probably so....i don't know what a normal sex drive is. for as far back as i can rememeber sex acts have been part of my life. bj felt good... even at 8, 9 ,10 and so... i did have times i just wanted to play with my cars but i alwasy let her talk me into it. ...why? cuz i knew it felt good. yea i really should shut up now.......
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I think it's quite obvious that exposure to the whole concept of sex at too early an age is very distracting and retards the social development process...including the importance of relationships with others. There will always be time for sex...but you will only ever have one childhood.
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Originally Posted By: Virtual_StarMy boyfriend was a victim of child molestation at a very young age. And from his personal experience, he firmly believes what happened to him warped his view on sexuality.He believed touching and rubbing the genitals of girls at the age of nine was a normal thing to do. He didn't learn this from porn or friends, but from his molester. As he got more involved, his sexual activity increased. At the age of thirteen, he lost his virginity. At the time, he believed that virginity was nothing more but a petty idea. Sex was just sex and nothing more. He's now twenty-six and greatly regrets it.My boyfriend admitted that he was very promiscuous. He's had a few sexual partners from his teens to early twenties, but also had other times where he would give or recieve oral from random girls. He didn't care where he was or who it was, as long as he was sexually satisfied. It even affected most of his past relationships.He then told me as soon as he hit around twenty-one, he finally realized that sex isn't everything and finally wanted a real relationship. His past sexual experiences left him feeling like something was missing and everything he did was meaningless.From what I learned from him, I can see how molestation could affect one's sexual upbringing. Because of what happened, his sex drive was higher, but left him with regrets. Sadly, though, what happened to him also effected his mental health. The worst thing is is that my molestor has a son now who is around my age when she began to molest me. I can't bear to imagine what he's going through. I want to tell everyone but I can't. It's not because I don't want to it's more like I'm too scared to. But I do know one thing, I am going to confront her. And that's when the truth will be revealed.
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Good luck to you. It takes a lot of courage to confront your attacker.