Long time no see but everythings worse

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Hey well lost myself from this place for a while..had a pm but it wouldnt show up?.. anyway how is everyone good i hope.. well im not i feel like shite i dunno what the hell is wrong with me at all. im so bloody unhappy and i dont know why . Ive just started my second level of counselling which is good that i past my last one. my finacee has got a promotion at work which is GREAT. my son has now started school too. but im so unhappy im always crying and upset ive even been cutting my self a bit now to , which i aint done for months on end. I just dont understand what is wrong. Im so unhappy with my relationship when i have no reason to be. Ive had 3 miscarriages since last november i think this could be a part of it but im not sure. Im still taking the prozac happy pills but they just dont work now. Sorry guys to come back out of the blue and lump this on you, i just needed to let it all out its nout much but to me i guess it is.. xxx k

You know you can always vent here fluff. Don't feel like your dumping things on top of us or anything.

What you have experienced sounds like the root of your unhappiness even if it's subconsciencely. Maybe you can get those pills changed if they're no longer working. People can get immune to the affects of pills after taking them for long enough.

It sounds like the miscarriages have created a more intense bout of depression. You should tell all this to your doctor, because the medication needs reviewing - either a higher dose or a different antidepressant seems called for.

hey.. well ive told the doctor and she just seems to be putting my doseage up which im not too sure about. Its all confusing me i mean i have loadsa stuff going on right now and it all seems to be suffercating me. I found out the other day that my best friend has been seeing my sons real dad for the past 12 months (she lives in cornwall im in manchester) but i go to stay with her a few times a year and well, hes never around i thought she hated him after the way she saw him treat me, i guess i was wrong. Im just all flusterd i guess becouse it seems to be one thing after another like a visous round about that i cant get off. Ive tryed allsorts like cutting people off from my life or trying to get some me time. Non of it works i mean it may for that amount of period im doing these things but after im always back in the real world of shite.I seem to be att he point where im worn down to sand and i i dont want to go on anymore or do anything . I feel like vanishing for good.

That must be very hard to deal with.

i thought i was dealing with it but i guess not its just getting rather too much now

how messed up can one persons life be eh? im on a downer ive had a really shitty day lifes a mess im a mess i feel like i just wanna dispear right now and you know what no fucker will notice . I dont know whats boought all this on its just the way im feeling right now my knees are hurting becouse ive cut them again my heads so sore cause i have a headach and i aint took no pain killers today, becouse im trying to get off them. My worlds falling down around me and i feel helpless

All we can do in times like that is try to endure the unendurable until things get a bit better. Pure endurance isn't given the respect it deserves.

Don't hesitate to write a PM to me if it helps. A lot of people are here to listen Fluff. Hope things get better.