I was just wondering, is it better to be urself when u want a relationship or should u act differently to try and score points. I was thinkin if u act differently it will lower your self esteem knowing that no one likes the real you, or maybe you just dont notice. Im 16, and have never been in a relationship because i act as myself and myself is computer geek, I program and build computers and also play bass in a punk band. Recently ive been feelin like shit not being able to even talk to girls let alone even try to get something going. So should i act differently and be the whole "im whatever u want me to be" person?
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The lonely profession
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no, be yourself always. dont be a poser
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maybe you've just fallen into the wrong crowd. never feel like you have to be someone else, and i know plenty of girls who love computer geeks in punk bands (myself included :-D), you just have to find folks who share your interests. dont let anyone make you feel like you need to be anything other than what you are.
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guess its just getting to me right now, cos im the only single one in the band right now and i aint done anything with no one etc. I find it sorta hard to talk to girls to sorta infer that sorta thing also, its like i think my self that they can do better so i dont bother :| sort of a mind hurdle i guess but i just dont feel i look to good etc. Good to know theres at least one person out there who likes some one like me haha, theres hope yet :-/
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Don't put yourself down, MrJust. Why should being a computer geek be a bad thing to be? The world's richest man made his money that way. Why should you feel it's something to be ashamed of?Whether the girl can do better is not your business to decide, is it? It's for the girl to decide, so don't make the decision for her. Give each girl the opportunity of getting to know you - I'm quite certain you're a better catch than you think you are.I strongly suspect that the main thing that is holding you back from more experience of women is your own lack of self-confidence - and in time you can change that.
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In that case i guess its just a lil time of trying to build some confidence, cheers for the help and all and i hope i can do this, i guess the key to sucess is work ur way up. About the computer stuff though, I dunno if its just in England or whatever, but its not good being experienced with computers, but more so in mobiles thats why i dont like what i do to much, but i do want to take it as a career.
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I use to think that alot, but when i went to visit family in georgia i met a girl she liked everything i liked that alot fo girls dont like...video games and cartoons like simpsons and stuff which alot of people dont like but she did..i also know a few girls in my town that like video games so its not really hard to find members of the opposite sex that like the things you like, just talk with them like you would talk to your friends dont be someone your not
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That's a great point, Muncher12. There are actually a lot of girls who are interested in things that are traditionally considered "male geek".
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I gotta say i havent seen many/any girls into stuff like that, maybe i am hanging out in the wrong croud then because being brutally honest i really dont see that many ppl into 'geeky' stuff.
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Be yourself man. I have an instant cure for you. Come visit me and I'll show you around town. There are A LOT of girls that wear the "I LOVE NERDS" t-shirts. Those are the ones you want to go for.
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Haha cheers for the pointers, ill keep a look out.
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i used to wonder this, and a few years ago now i kindof took the wrong path. i was totaly not myself infront of girls/other people, and it seemed fun, but one day i realised they didnt like me, hell they didnt even know me. this made me very insecure and depressed, and just wasnt worth the hassle. now ive got mates who like me for who i am, not who i wish i was sometimes (although i'm pretty happy with myself nowadays)
just remember, if you pretend to be somebody your not and people like that, its that they like, not you.
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yea we smart ones dont really get high social aceptence in school and or after school (HS and college) but we just have to live with it find a girl/woman in the same fields as you are in then that should be an eazer
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In reply to:Whether the girl can do better is not your business to decide, is it? It's for the girl to decide, so don't make the decision for her. Give each girl the opportunity of getting to know you - I'm quite certain you're a better catch than you think you are. yeah there must be somethin that some girl will like about u. Lots of girls usually go for the musical guys im on the internet like 12 hours a day sometimes, i rarely go out even though my party animal friends like 2 mins drive away, Ive got a few pimples, im a little fat and Ive managed to hang onto a really hot girl who was the first girl I actually proper tongue kissed and im 16 and 1/2 lol. She likes me for what I am I dont try to be anything else and thats what she likes about me.. look at me: my self
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In reply to: Then you can be as eccentric, weird, goofy, nerdy, whatever, as you like and still find someone to date because you're successful I've always thought about that, but wouldnt that mean there going for the money rather than the person?On the plus side of things, were doing a house gig at some big party (first gig ever) so it should be fun and should meet some peeps funnily enough though i aint feeling that nervous about it either Hey and thanks to all that have payed their post to this thread, means alot to me