Latly.. Seems like more and more depression.. more and more thought of sucide.. Used to be my mom was the reason i didn't do it.. now it seems like she dsont care.. my dad dosnt care.. my sister hates me.. Why else do i have to live? My friend is leaving school.. he has a GF.. so he is always busy... I really have no one else.. I want to die.. straight out.. i cant wait till tuesday to get help.. i want help now.. I looked through the garage. .and i didnt know what to drink.. looked in the yard.. and seems all posinous plants are gone... so i dont know what to use.. It seems like im the reason my parents and everyone else argues.. something i did... I hate to keep making posts about my fucked up life.. I dont why i do.. I just kinda do it.. Im starting to feel like im wasting everyones time... Schools.. parents.. friends.. A2A... My sister basicly said she is depressed.. cause of me and my dad.. So.. Why dont i fix her problem? Im just in my dads way.. cause im not the perfect son.. Why dont i fix his problem? My mom thinks i just screw around in class.. that its my fault..and i dont have any problems.. So i will fix her problem... More and more i look at it.. I see that im that problem.. yes me.. People dont like to talk to me.. cause i 'bug' them.. and such... so i will fix there problem... My friends are tired of hearing about my problems.. So.. Who do i have to live for? No one.. My mom was the last one.. and she has been taken off the list... Its been way over a year.. over a year of depression... Why? ... I just bug.. and cost people money.. and waste peoples time.. teachers.. parents.. friends.. etc... and for that I'm sorry... Im sorry for being in everyone elses way.. My friend was basicly an honors student before he met me.. Now look at him? going to C school.. I just 2400MG of Ibuprofan.. Dont know if it will work.. or what.. but i took it.. Im everyones problem.. I cant take the pain anymore.. the lonlyness... Being lonly all the time.. I will never be anything in life.. So why continue? Its pointless... Why is life so fucked.. Seems like everything is always screwed with me.. ALWAYS.. and i hate it... The only reason i havnt done it yet... Is because.. What is after life like? Will i just be reencarnatied? and be back in this fucked up world? Will i be happier? Will i really know what going on? Can i really die? There are tons of questions i ask myself... My stomach is starting to hurt... Will the ibuprofan kill me? It kinda gets scary when you think its going to end.. I dont know why i even continue to type.. Im just stupid.. I havn't found happiness in a while.. last time was weed.. I cant get anymore.. so i havnt been happy since last week.. or something.. Well.. Im sorry im still typing.. I have lost anything that i ever continued to live for.. I dont know.. since i took the ibuprofan.. i havnt cryed.. maybe its killing me? Im kinda tired now.. Oh well.. Im sorry once again for the long post.. I will post if it didn't work... Can i call this sucide attempt number five?
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WHY?!
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Dude! You're not wasting anyone's time. We want you around. I hope you're alright.
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Im alright.. the pills didn't work.. ... I will try to get help tuesday...
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You need to know that you're not the problem and you being gone isn't the solution anything. You are worth everyone's time it's just that some people fail to realize that. Talk to that woman on tuesday and maybe then things will start to get better. Everything takes time.
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I already feel better.. Why do i have these radical emotions? It gets crazy.. I smoked a LITTLE bit of weed tonight.. I literaly scraped the bag clean.. Oh well.. I will talk to them tuesday
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we all care for you and are here for you. don't do it, it not worth it. sure life is handing out some shit, but you will get past it, it WILL get better, just give it time.HUGS N' CUDDLES:: suicide is not that answer ...i know how it feels to wanna end ur life because i have attempted 4-5 times in the last three years.you made it this far in life...don't give up please.