I got really down so I wrote a few things down. I don't really need peoples pitty. I just need to get it out. I'm not a poet so I'm sorry if it sucks.I want to cutI wanna feel the razor in my handFeel my skin break a part and the pain move up my bodyI wanna see the crimson blood against my fleshI wanna feel the pain that I can withstand This is what I wanna do.Take me by my hand and lead me through this desertTo weak to carry on, to strong to let goA savior is what I want and needWho will fill that void in meThough the path is worn, I can not move without a lightWith no angels how am I too see the way
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Depressive words
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This is depressing. I only cut when i'm in a neutral to happy state of mind. But when I'm sad I don't slice. I don't understand why I do that but I do. I'm so far gone on the hope of happiness that I wish that someone would kill me. Just to be in the right place at the right time so I don't have to feel anymore. I'm tired of struggling for a life that I don't see worth while. I have a few resources of people to talk to but I don't feel welcomed to talk to them. You can only tell someone so much of your bullshit without making them sad or they end up not wanting to talk to you because your always down. Well theres a point that I'm always down. I'm freakn' alone. This community is the only people I talk to on a regular basis. I'm running my life into a hole and everyone tells me I'll get out of it, everything is going to be fine, come talk to me. I can't their never around. I just have to push on being sad while smiling so everyone can feel better about themselves.
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I wish I knew how to help.
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short of killing me.. nothing much.
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I've found that writing poetry is wonderful therapy for me! Keep doing it!
I would suggest you find a counselor or a psychiatrist to talk to though. Trust me, they won't get sick of hearing about your "bullshit"! That's what they do for a job, and they do it because they want to help people. I've always found my therapists to be very patient and understanding, even when I would have driven anyone else crazy! You should consider it! And keep writing.
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Raven, I don't pity you but I embrace you. I already told you that I'm a hacker (nothing to do with computers). If I live to be 100, the self inflicted scars I have will still show.
Here's how I describe the need; there used to be on old expression; "Q-how do you ignore how much your shoes are pinching your feet? A-you think of how much your earrings are pinching your ears!"
That's why I cut. Pain in the brain is diminished by pain in the skin.
Does this make any sense to you? -
I already go to a psychologist, two counsellors, and every now and then psychiatrist.Yeah thats the reason why I started to cut. Then it was out of habit.